


Grunge One Shots

by StateOfLoveAndVedder



Category: Blind Melon, Nirvana (Band), Pearl Jam, Soundgarden (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Smut, one shots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-05
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2019-09-12 01:01:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 45
Words: 73,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16863286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StateOfLoveAndVedder/pseuds/StateOfLoveAndVedder
Summary: Here, you can find the one shots I've written on Tumblr. I'm posting them here, because I've come to the realisation that quite a lot of people use this and because I also post some smut ones and I have no idea if Tumblr is still gonna allow that.





	1. Chapter 1

Enjoy the one shots and let me know what you think :)


	2. Break up - Eddie Vedder

Never had I seen Eddie like this before, he looked genuinely heartbroken. That's why I felt the need to talk to him and try to cheer him up a bit. Ed had locked himself inside his home for a week now and it was about time he got out of his man-cave and into the real world again.

"You ready, Y/N?" Mike asked. Mike and I were planning to see Ed and talk some sense into him. I made a humming noise as a 'yes' and got my stuff before getting into Mike's car. Mike was one of Eddie's best mates and knew him almost better than anyone. The reason for that was the fact that they were in a band together, Pearl Jam.

After about 15 minutes we arrived at Eddie's house. Mike parked the car and got out, just as I did. We walked up to the door and I knocked on it, hoping Eddie would finally open up to his friends again.

Ed and I have known each other for years and I couldn't wish a better friend. Though Alicia, his now ex-girlfriend, messed him up in some ways I didn't know were possible. He changed from that sweet-grungy-shy guy, into a serious-most of the time annoyed-egoistic guy.

"Ed come on, we know you're in there. Open the door!" Mike screamed, getting annoyed by the fact that Eddie had been ignoring everyone since his breakup with Alicia.

Speaking of the breakup: not a person around Eddie could be happier about the breakup. No one liked Alicia, ever since she met Eddie's friends (us), she started acting like a bitch to everyone. Only at times when Eddie was paying attention to her with his friends she acted as though she was friends with them all as well.

"Eddie come on!" I tried, but still nothing.

Mike gave me a look and I immediately knew what he was up to. I told him it might not be a good time to say it, but Mike being Mike didn't listen to me and said what he had in mind anyways.

"Well Ed, I don't know if you were planning on keeping any friends, but my patience is decreasing every fucking time I'm standing here, waiting for you to open up this god damned door."

Mike sighed, knowing that this could ruin their friendship and probably also things for the band.

Right when Mike and I were about to turn around and get back into the car, we heard something shuffling behind the door and to our surprise it was opened by the one and only Eddie Vedder.

I just stared at him, as he stared at the ground. Mike was the one to break the silence, "Hey Ed".

Eddie looked up and said "Hey guys," before ushering us to come inside

Eddie looked up and said "Hey guys," before ushering us to come inside. It had never been this awkward and silent in this household.

Mike and I sat down on a couch in the living room while Eddie got us something to drink. He came back with two soda's and a beer for himself. The beer alone already told me enough about his state of being and Mike and I shared a look.

"So," Mike started as he gave us our drinks and took a seat on the other couch, "how you holding up?"

Mike and I both knew this was a stupid question, but there had to be a start and this was the best Mike could come up with.

"Barely. I'm just so done with everything." Eddie finally spoke up after a couple of minutes of silence. I felt bad for him but all three of us, hell everyone around him, knew the breakup was for the best.

"We're all here for you, Ed. Just try to socialise again. We know it's hard, but you can't live like this any longer." I said.

Eddie looked up and his eyes met mine. There was something about his eyes and I couldn't place it. Was it anger? Frustration? It was something I had never seen in those ocean blue eyes of his.

"Ed come one, don't look at (Y/N) like that, you look like you're about to hurt her and I'm sure that's not what you're gonna do, but don't give her that idea. Your expressions even scares me." Mike said, which made me release a breath I didn't know I was holding. Mike was right though, Eddie's expression was far from nice and it scared me a bit.

Eddie stood up and walked out of the house, into his tiny garden. Mike looked at me and stayed put, so I decided I should try again.

I got up from the couch and made my way to Eddie. Mike eventually came along, in case I needed some help.

As soon as I reached Eddie I put my hand on his shoulder, but he quickly moved away from my grasp and turned his back even more to me than before.

"Eddie everyone knows you're going through hell. But you and I both know this is for the best. You might not want to believe me right now, but some day you will realise I'm right. All she did was drive you away from your friends. Please, try to get ahold of yourself again and come back. We miss the Eddie we used to know."

So, I said it.

But, it didn't turn out too well.

Eddie turned around, anger all over his face.

"How dare you?!" he shouted, "How dare you say that about her? It's not true. Nothing you just said is right. It's all bullshit! You're only saying that I'm better off now because I'm free again and now you might have a chance with me. Well (Y/N) it's not bona happen! I'm not in love with you and I never will. Leave me the hell alone right now! You always fucking know how to ruin things. Every fucking time it's you."

Tears started to fill your eyes, slowly making their way down your face. I turned around slowly and started making my way back into the house when Mike spoke up to Eddie.

"What the hell Eddie?! What the hell was that about. You know (Y/N) would never do that. She said those things to you because she cares about you and because she loves you, yeah. But not because she's in love with you. And you know, she's right. You're not yourself and you haven't been yourself for a while. The funny thing is: you have been acting differently towards us ever since you and Alicia started dating. So get yourself together and if I were you I should make up one hell of an excuse for (Y/N)."

By the time Mike was finished with lecturing Eddie, I was inside gathering my stuff. I walked through the front door towards Mike's car and not too long after I went inside Mike came too. Eddie was right behind him. Mike got in the car and started to drive away, but stopped when Eddie called my name.

"(Y/N)!"

I looked up, my eyes still filled with tears. I got out of the car and stood in front of him.

"I-I don't kno-" he started but I cut him off.

"No Eddie, don't. You know, I came here to check up on my best friend, because his asshole of a girlfriend dumped him. I was trying to be there for you when you needed someone. I came here for you, but right now, you're the reason I'm leaving this place." I said and paused for a bit.

I noticed Eddie's expression had changed into something I did recognise; Guilt.

Eddie opened his mouth to say something, but I started talking before he could. "Before you say something, do realise that what you just did was something I never expected from you. I told you I was in love with you months ago, you can't even be sure if it's still true. But the fact that you used that to get back at me for telling you how bad Alicia was for you, that was something I won't forget easily."

I looked him in his eyes, which were once that ocean blue color, but now all grey. I slowly turned around and got back into the car. Mike drove away as soon as I got in.

Eddie said something, but I couldn't hear it anymore. We were too far gone already.

Eddie had broken my heart once before, but that time it wasn't on purpose. This time though, was something different.


	3. A cigarette - Eddie Vedder

"(Y/N), come on! How aren't you ready by now?" Simon said with a semi-annoyed tone. Simon was your best friend. He got invited to a party and he decided to drag you along.

I put on the last bit of mascara and went outside to meet up with Simon, who was too happy to see you ready. You laughed at his silliness and walked with him to your car.

The drive was a bit messy with Simon being very unclear about the directions. "It will literally take an hour with you driving like this, are you sure you've passed your exam?" he said, trying to sound serious.

I poked him in his side and laughed, "I passed, without failing once, even before you did and you failed twice, so you're one to speak." he burst into laughter and after another twenty minutes we finally arrived at the location of the party.

The house in front of us was huge and through the windows we could see it was packed with possibly hundreds of people. Simon and I got out of my car and reached the front door. We didn't bother knocking, because no one would hear it anyways.

Inside is was bloody hot and I immediately felt the need to get a drink. Simon got us both a beer and he led me to a group of people who I later knew to be his friends. One of them was Alex, Simon's boyfriend.

"I'm (Y/N), it's so nice to finally meet you, Alex. Simon just can't stop talking about you." I smiled and Alex chuckled, Simon had turned into a tomato shade of red and smiled awkwardly.

After about an hour of meeting people and having a great time, I needed some nicotine and decided to go out for a smoke. I made my way into the huge backyard and took a deep breath before fishing in my coat for my cigarettes and lighter, but I soon realised I must've forgot to grab them from my table while Simon was whining about the amount of time I was putting in getting ready.

I sighed, but I decided to stay outside for a bit. The fresh air was nice, especially after being trapped in-between hundreds of sweaty people. I sat down on the porch and closed my eyes for a bit to relax.

"You alright?" a voice behind me spoke up, I opened my eyes and turned my head to find a guy standing behind me.

"Yeah, just enjoying the silence for a bit." I said and laughed quietly. He did too. "Mind if I join you?" he asked and I told him it was completely fine. He sat down next to me and extended his hand, "I'm Eddie." he said with a smile which I returned, "(Y/N)."

We sat there for a while, just staring at nothing and talking about how we ended up here. He heard about the party through one his bandmates and decided some fun wouldn't do any harm to anyone. I smiled and told him about how Simon dragged me here and him calling me 'and old lady' for never having any fun, which I denied, so I kind of had to go to show him I wasn't a party-pooper.

Eddie got something out of his jacket and I noticed it was a package of cigarettes. He offered me one and I took it gracefully with a smile, "I forgot mine at home, so you're kind of my hero for the night." he laughed as he held his lighter at the end of my cigarette and lit it. "Thanks." He lit his own and we both inhaled deeply and let the smoke free.

"So you're in a band?" I asked and he nodded. "Pearl Jam, that's what we're called." I smiled, realising I actually heard about that band before. "Grunge, right?" Eddie smiled and nodded. "We've got a show next week in town, you should come. I'll get you a ticket if you want?"

I thought about it, but there wasn't much to think about. So, with a smile I said: "I'd love that." with made Eddie smile as well. It was only now that I noticed his handsome features. His cheekbones and those ocean blue eyes best of all.

Something clattering behind us brought me back to earth and I stopped staring at Eddie immediately. Eddie and I turned around and Simon was standing behind me.

"(Y/N), there you are, I thought you would go out for a smoke and come back." he said s he was a bit tensed, but relaxed as soon as he saw who was sitting next to me. "Eddie, right?"

Eddie nodded, "You're Simon. Dave told me you'd be here tonight." Eddie smiled and extended his hand to Simon as soon as he stood up, who took it with a smile.

Simon, Eddie and I talked for a bit and I came to the knowledge that Simon's cousin, Dave, was the drummer of Pearl Jam.

It was already 2:45am when I told them it as enough for me.

"I"m staying with Alex tonight, so don't worry about me." Simon said while giving me a hug, "Alright, be safe and I'll see you soon." Alex nodded in agreement and went back inside.

"So, I guess I'll see you at our show next week?" Eddie asked nervously, which made me smile. "Yes, I'll see you there."

"Give me your hand." he said and with a confused look, I did as I was told. Eddie got out a pen and wrote something down on my hand. When he was finished I looked at him and I realised it was a phone number, probably his.

"Text me when you get home, that way I know you're home safe. And that way I've got your number so I can send you the details about the show."

I smiled and without me noticing, my stomach did a tiny flip. I walked up to him and hugged him tightly, "thanks. I'll see you next week."

He hugged me back and smiled. "till then, (Y/N)."


	4. Unfortunate events - Eddie Vedder

Crying. That was the only thing I could do right now. I can't even think straight anymore.   
Richard, my now ex-boyfriend AND ex-fiancée, just told me he'd been having an affaire with some old friend of his and he decided she was better for him. Which ended up in him breaking my heart, just about a minute or two ago.

As soon as he told me, I bursted into tears and ran upstairs to grab a bag and fill it with most of my important belongings and clothes.

I grabbed everything I needed, left the house and got into my car. Where to? I didn't know. The only thing I knew is that I needed to leave this hellhole.

After an hour and a half, I realised I was running out of gas. There was a gas station down the road and I stopped there for a refill.

"How could he?" I muttered to myself while filling my car with gas. As soon as I was finished I got out my wallet and walked inside the station to pay. Behind the counter was a guy with long hair. When he heard the bell ringing, he looked up and his eyes met mine.

"You alright over there?" he asked, probably noticing my tear stained face. I nodded and went to look inside the station for some snacks and something to drink. The guy went back to reading whatever he was reading, though I was sure I hadn't convinced him.

I grabbed a bottle of Diet Coke and a packet of crisps and made my way over to where the guy was sitting behind a small counter.

"These please, and I used tank 4." I said and he told me the exact price. I gave him the right amount of money and he took it, with a somewhat apologetic smile on his face.

before I turned to leave the station a thought came up in my mind, "Excuse me, but do you mind if I stay for a bit at the station. Just in my car? It's been a pretty long night and I could use some rest.."

He looked at me, "Yes of course, and if you need anything just tell me, maybe I could help." I smiled at him and thanked him before leaving and parking my car at the side of the station. I got into the back of the car after grabbing a blanket and a tiny pillow. It wasn't the best thing, but it was as comfortable as it would get.

I woke up to the sound of someone tapping on my window. I slowly opened my eyes and it took a minute or two for my eyes to get used to all the light, but when I could see properly, I noticed the guy from the station standing outside with a small bag in his hand and a small smile on his face.

I opened the door and quickly got out of the car, trying not to feel awkward about the fact that he saw me asleep.

"Morning," he said shyly, "I figured you could use something other than those crisps you bought last night. So, I got you some breakfast." he held up the bag and gave it to me. "There are two croissants inside, I hope you like croissants.."

I was taken aback to say the least, but non the less was I as grateful as ever. Never had anyone done this for me, let alone a stranger. "Wow, thank you so much." I said a bit speechless. "You shouldn't have done it, though. But I'm very grateful."

The guy smiled at me, "Well, I hope you got some rest after last night. You didn't seem too happy." he said quietly, not knowing for sure if it was too personal. But it wasn't, he was just trying to be nice.

"I did, thanks. And you're right, I wasn't too happy last night, still not right not, honestly. But you just made it a bit better by bringing me breakfast. So thanks." I smiled, a genuine smile.

"Well, I've got to get going. It's been a long night and I could use some rest as well. Have a good day." he said and slowly walked away.

"Well, thanks a lot, again. Bye!" I said and started eating the mouth-watering croissants.

I wasn't feeling like driving any further than I had already. Being an hour and a half away from Richard was quite enough. I got into town, San Diego that is, and found a hotel in which I checked in.

The day dragged on and after dinner, a drink sounded very nice. There was a bar at walking distance so as soon as I was ready, I made my way over. It was quite packed already and there wasn't a booth or a table left, so I just headed towards to bar and took a seat.

The bartender gave me the drink I ordered and while sipping my drink, I looked around a bit. Bringing my attention back to my drink, I realised someone took the seat next to me. I didn't bother looking up from my drink until the person asked me about my breakfast this morning.

"I beg your pardon?" I asked before looking up. It was only then that I realised it was the guy for the gas station; the guy who brought me breakfast this morning. "Oh I'm sorry, I didn't see it was you." I said and he chuckled, "It was very good by the way, thanks again."

He looked up and that was the moment I saw the ocean blue colour of his eyes for the first time. "No need to thank me. But let me introduce myself properly," he said while extending me his hand, "I'm Eddie."

We shook hands and we both smiled, "The name's (Y/N)."

"(Y/N), huh? that's nice. It suits you."

Hearing Eddie saying my name made me feel funny in my stomach. Never had I felt like this before, not even when Richard said my name.

I blushed at his comment and thanked him.

"Well, Eddie. Let me buy you a drink as to pay you back for breakfast."

We laughed and Eddie protested in the beginning, but eventually gave in and let me buy his drink.


	5. Grunge concert - Eddie Vedder

"Oh my god! That was so amazing!" my best friend, Demi, exclaimed. I laughed, but agreed; Soundgarden and Pearl Jam were amazing on stage. 

"I'm gonna go hit a cafe, you coming with me?" I asked Demi. But she shook her head, "Soz (Y/N), gotta get up early tomorrow so I'm gonna go for a good sleep."

Demi and I said our goodbyes and as soon as she left, I went on my way to the local cafe. It was very crowded and I started to doubt if I wanted to stay or go home and just chill, but before I could make up my mind some random guy came up to me and put his hand on my back.

I turned a bit to see who it was, but it wasn't a familiar face. "Excuse me, do I know you?" I asked, as polite as I could be.

He smirked, in a way I didn't really like, "Not yet, but soon you will."

He hadn't spoken even ten words, but I already knew I wanted him to sod off. "What can I get you to drink?" he asked. "I'm ok."

He started to tense up and I wanted to get away from him as soon and as far as possible. But he didn't let it be and continued, "I see your drink is almost done, why don't you just let me buy you something new?"

First, the sound of his voice was quite kind, but now it already sounded annoyed. "I'm sorry, I can buy my own drinks. And for the record, I don't even know if I'm staying much longer."

His hand was still on my back and his grip got harder and harder. I noticed he was fairly muscular and much taller than me, but it didn't scare me off.

"Listen to me, bitch. If I want to buy you a drink, you let me buy you a drink. That's the way it is." he said with a harsh tone into my hear and pressed a sloppy kiss in my neck.

That was the moment I lost it. I shoved him away and backed up, which caused some heads to turn my way. "Look asscracker. If I tell you I don't want anything from you, you should leave me the fuck alone."

He got up his feet as well and before he could get his hands on me, someone stopped him.

"Wow wow, what do you think you're doing? Haven't you heard a word of what she just said? Leave her alone, man. Go home."

The guy somehow seemed convinced and with an annoyed face got out of the cafe as fast as he could.

"You ok?" the guy, who just saved my ass, asked. It was only then that I realised who it was.

"Yeah, thanks a lot for that. Don't know how I would've left this place without any scratched if you didn't stop him from whatever he was about to do.." I laughed slightly.

He extended his hand, "I'm Chris,"

"I know, I just went to your show, actually." I laughed nervously. Chris laughed as well, "I'm (Y/N), by the way."

"Wanna join me and the others for a drink? I just wanted to get another round when I heard you and that asshole."

I thought about my options, not really knowing if I wanted to stay much longer. But how often do you get to sit with a guy who just saved your ass without any intentions beside just being nice, who also is the lead singer of a very good grunge band? Not that often.

"I'd love to, thanks." I smiled and Chris got the drinks for the guys, just as he got a drink for me.

We made our way over to their booth, which was a bit more isolated than the rest.

Chris introduced me to the rest of the guys; Kim, Matt and Ben. We talked about the show and what I thought of it and about how I got there.

The night went by in the blink of an eye and Chris and I shared our numbers, so we could stay in touch and maybe hang out again.

There was no romantic chemistry between us and we didn't necessarily wanted it to be more than friends. We just wanted to hang out as friends.

A couple of days after meeting Chris and the rest of the boys, Chris texted me.

Cornell: Hey (Y/N), if you've got some free time left, come over to my place and come enjoy some good bbq food. Lemme know if you're in.

Luckily, I had nothing to do this afternoon, so I texted him I'd be there. I got ahold of his address and got ready.

I was a warm day in Seattle, so I was just wearing a black skater skirt, a white blouse and my docs. As I parked my car in front of Chris' house Matt made his way over to me.

"There you are, we were starting to doubt if you'd really come." I laughed, "I'm a girl, I need time to get ready, Matt."

We both laughed and he showed me inside, we went through the house, straight to the backyard.

"(Y/N)! Nice to see you." Chris said as he came over and gave me a hug.

I greeted the rest of the guys and noticed it wasn't just the boys of Soundgarden in the backyard. 

"I'm sure you recognise them, but this is Dave, Jeff, Stone, Mike" he said while pointing out everyone, "and Eddie."

Chris also pointed out some girls, which were the girlfriends of the boys.

I greeted all the guys and the girls quickly, though I was a bit stuck in the moment while I greeted Eddie.

The afternoon, as well as the evening, went by in an instant. We talked about everything, but there was one thing my mind kept wandering back to; Eddie.

When it was time for me to go, I said goodbye to everyone and told them I didn't need an escort to my car. I thanked Chris for inviting me and made my way over to my car.

Just before I could get in my car, I was stopped by a hand on my shoulder.

"(Y/N), wait."

I immediately recognised that deep voice.

"Eddie?"

"I want to ask you something.." he said nervously.

"Well, go on." I chuckled as his gaze was focused on the ground.

"Do you want to go out with me sometime? As in a date?" he said, finally meeting my gaze.

I blushed, not expecting this at all, but nodded. "I'd love to go on a date with you, Eddie."

Eddie relaxed as I told him I wanted to go on a date with him and it made me smile, knowing he was genuinely nervous for the answer, as if he wouldn't be good enough.

"Give me your phone," I said and he handed me his phone with a confused look on his face. After a couple of seconds I gave it back, "My number's in there, so text or call me whenever you want to." I smiled

"I definitely will." he said with a big smile on his face.

We said our goodbyes and I went home, eagerly waiting for Eddie to text or call me.


	6. MTV Unplugged - Eddie Vedder

Stone and I were standing outside his house. The rest of the boys were inside but I couldn't get in there. Seeing Eddie was too much.

"Why are you acting like he's done something aweful?" Stone asked.

I shook my head and looked at the ground, "I really can't tell you, Steno."

He got more frustrated every second of me denying anything about the way I acted towards Eddie.

"If you're not gonna tell me, I'm gonna go back inside. I'm sorry (Y/N), but it annoys the crap out of me that you're acting so different towards the boys ever since last week and if you don't wanna tell me or any of them what's the matter. Then I can't help you either."

Stone turned to walk away, but I couldn't let him. It felt like I was losing him and the rest of the guys as my friends.

"I'm in love with him." I almost screamed. Stone stopped dead in his tracks and turned his head slowly.

"I'm in love with Eddie and it broke me when I saw him with that girl at lunch last week. That's why I can't bare to see him. It breaks me to see him."

Stone walked up to me with a sympathetic smile and wrapped his arms around me while I let my feelings free. Tears started to slowly make their way down my face.

"Sshhh, don't cry." He said as he rubbed my back.

"But it hurts, you know..."

"I can imagine."

I told Stone I wanted to go home and we went inside so I could goodbye to the others.

Eddie was acting a bit strange, different from before I went outside, but I ignored it, since it was possibly my emotions making me see things differently.

Once I was home I took a long, hot, shower and afterwards I watched some telly.

The next day at work was boring as ever. I worked as a butcher in my uncle's butchery. My aunt and uncle raised me and as I got older and older they made me work in the butchery. I really didn't mind, I had a great time there, but the last couple of days were dragging by and I wasn't in the mood for talking to anyone, to be honest.

Just as I was having lunch in the back of the store during my lunchbreak, my uncle interrupted my thoughts by telling me Stone was asking for me. I asked if it was alright if he could come here and my uncle said it was ok and he would send Stone to the back.

My aunt and uncle knew the guys pretty well, since they came over regularly.

I took another bite of my sandwich before Stone came in.

"Hey Steno," I said with a smile. "what brings you here?"

He sat down next to me, "The boys and I got you a ticket for our MTV performance. It's tomorrow night and we would all really like it if you're there." he said as he handed me a ticket.

I looked down at the ticket in my hand. Stone knew I was doubting whether I should go or not. "Please (Y/N), come see us. You're always there, don't let the feelings you have for Eddie get in the way. It would mean a lot te me, you know that."

Stone was the one I was closest to. He helped me getting through a lot of things and I couldn't wish for a better best friend.

"Alright, I'll be there. But I need to get back to work now, the meat won't sell itself." I said and laughed a bit.

Stone laughed as well and gave me a tight hug as we stood up, "Thanks dear, I'll see you tomorrow. I'll text you the details about it. Bye!"

"Bye bye, Steno."

When I got home I saw Stone had sent me the details. I took a shower and did some housecleaning. Tomorrow I had to work till 12, so I had the whole afternoon to get ready for the show.

Work went by pretty fast and it was a pretty good day, the customers were very nice and there wasn't a single moment I had nothing to do.

It was pretty late already and I figured I should get ready for the show.

I put on my docs, some ripped jeans and an old flannel from Stone, which he gave me a couple of months ago when we were out camping with the boys. As soon as I was ready, it was time to go. I got into my car and made my way over to where the show would be.

The building was quite huge and as I got inside, a guard looked at my ticket and showed me the way to the right hall.

About 30 minutes later, Pearl Jam started playing their first song, Oceans in this case.

I sang along with all the lyrics. There music sounded like heaven to my ears. I had a great time, but there was something I couldn't ignore. Eddie looked very troubled and I couldn't help but wanting to know what was wrong.

Usually, Eddie would look around a bit to see who was in the audience, but today was different

Usually, Eddie would look around a bit to see who was in the audience, but today was different. He hadn't looked around once and it started to really worry me.

A couple of songs later, it looked as though Eddie made up his mind about something. After playing 'Alive', he didn't go on and it also confused the rest of the guys, that much was clear about their facial expressions.

Eddie got up and finally looked into the audience. "Tonight I have been debating whether I should do something or not." he said and it confused everyone in the room.

He continued as he looked around, as if he was trying to find someone. As soon as his eyes met mine he stopped looking around and focused his gaze on mine.

"There's someone I want to ask on stage. (Y/N), come here." he said and suddenly all eyes were on me. I looked behind Eddie to see if Stone knew what was going on, but his face told me he had no clue.

I slowly got up from my seat and someone helped me up on stage. Eddie walked up to me and before I knew what was going on I felt his lip on mine and it was possibly the best feeling ever. Our lips moved in sync and I was sad when I felt him back away.

"I'm sorry." he said, just to me, not into the mic. "For what?" I asked, still confused about everything.

"I overheard you talking to Stone a couple of days ago. I'm sorry I made you think I wasn't interested. Cuz I am, I am interested in you. Very much actually."

The words he said brought a huge smile onto my face and I hugged him tightly. "Now, get back to your seat and we'll talk about it more later, kay?"

I nodded and he gave me a quick kiss on my cheek before helping me down.

The rest of the show was so much more interesting and I had the best time in my life. Eddie would look at me here and then and it was so cute, I couldn't be happier than I was.

Eddie would look at me here and then and it was so cute, I couldn't be happier than I was


	7. No confidence - Eddie Vedder

"Now get in there and kick some ass." I said with a smile before he pecked my lips. 

He turned around and started making his way towards the stage, "Make sure you're in front of me, so I can see you." and with that he left the room.

As quickly as I could, I made my way into the audience and actually managed to get in front.

The boys started playing and as soon as Eddie's voice was heard, I was in haven. After all those months, it still gave me that exact same feeling.

Eddie and I had been dating for quite a while now, but it wasn't really public yet. We didn't do it on purpose, we hung out in public and people who walked by would notice we were a couple, it just wasn't written down in the papers yet, which I really didn't mind. Now we still had some privacy.

When they started playing 'Black', the girl next to me started talking to me. "Isn't Eddie perfect?". I laughed, "That's the exact reason I'm dating him." That was the first time, ever, I said it out loud. And it felt good.

The girl started laughing as well, but not in a nice way. "You really think you're dating him. Eddie would never date you, you're certainly not his type, I mean: look at you.."

Her attention went back to the guys on stage. but my attention sticked to her words.

What if it was true? What if I wasn't Eddie's type?

The anxiety, I didn't know I had, kicked in and I left the hall immediately at a moment Eddie wasn't looking my way. One of the guards, who actually recognised me, asked me what was going on, but I ignored him and left the building.

As soon as was on the streets, I left the world of the living and went into a forest, which ended at a cliff.

It was the most beautiful place I had ever seen and it was my place to go to whenever I didn't feel like facing the world.

Hours passed and I felt my phone buzzing every five minutes. I didn't bother to take a look at it, though. I wanted to be alone. I didn't want to talk to someone on the phone. And I couldn't care less about the fact that I actually just disappeared without a reason.

But there was a reason, for me there was a reason to disappear for a while.

My phone buzzed again and this time I just wanted to check who was calling me. I got out my phone and when I read the caller's ID, I couldn't deal with the stress I was going through anymore.

Eddie's name made me think of what that girl said and it made me so sad. I know none of this was his fault, but I just couldn't get the idea of it all being true out of my head.

A couple more hours passed and my stomach started making noises. I really didn't want to leave this place to face the world again, but I was too hungry to stay here.

It took about fifteen minutes to reach the streets. It was long past midnight, but there were a couple of restaurants nearby that were still open.

I saw a snackbar on the other side of the road and made my way over. I ordered some take away food and as soon as I got it I went back to my place at the end of the forest.

Another hour had passed when I heard a noise in the distance. It was very dark out there and it scared me a bit, but when the noise became clearer I recognised it without any hesitation. I remember telling him about this place some time ago.

"(Y/N)?" his voice spoke when he noticed me sitting at the edge of the cliff.

The tears started making their way down my face as soon as Eddie said my name.

He came over to me and sat beside me. "What's wrong? Why are you sitting here? I've been looking for you all night." he said with a sad and confused tone in his voice.

I moved my head so I could face him and all I could think about were the words of that girl, 'Eddie would never date you.'

"Do you love me?" I asked quietly, through the sobs.

Eddie gave me a confused look. I had never asked him such thing, but I really needed to know if he did.

"Because if you don't, then it's better for us to just end it immediately so I can move on."

I wasn't facing Eddie anymore, but the insanely confused look on his face was not to miss.

"What are you talking about?" he asked. "Of course I love you, (Y/N)! I love you with all I've got and I wouldn't let you just walk away, even if you wanted to, you mean too much to me."

We were both silent for a couple of minutes before I spoke up, "I'm sorry."

"It's alright, but could you tell me where that came from?" Eddie asked while scooting a bit closer and putting his arm around me.

"There was this girl at your concert and I kind of told her we were dating, I don't know why, and she told me I was no good for you and I wasn't your type and that you'd never date me."

Eddie chuckled and it was my turn to give him a confused look.

"You know that's not true. You know she isn't right. She was probably just very jealous. I love you and there's no doubt about that."

His words made me smile and he noticed. "How about I take you home?" he asked while getting up. I nodded and got up as well.

Eddie got ahold of my hand and intertwined our fingers.

After quite a long walk, we made it home. We were both too tired to get ready for bed, so we just went in as soon as we reached the bedroom.

Eddie crawled behind me and put his arm around my waist. "Don't let anyone tell you something like that again. I love you and I always will."

And with those words, I fell asleep with a huge smile across my face.


	8. Truth or dare - Eddie Vedder

It's been a while since I've properly hung out with the guys, so I'm looking forward to tonight. I haven't seen Eddie for a week either and I really wanna see him again.

Eddie caught my eye about three months ago and the only ones who know are Jeff, who also happens to be my brother, and Mike. I never dared to tell Eddie or ask him out, but I want to change that and try and hang out with him sometime, just the two of us, to see if he's got the slightest interest in me.

As soon as I get home after work, I take a quick shower and get ready for the evening. I eat some left over pizza before getting dressed. I chose to wear my black 'The Beatles' shirt, some ripped denim jeans and, of course, my good ol' doc Martens.

When I'm finally finished it's 7:20 PM, so I decide to head over to Jeff's place, which is where we decided to hang out tonight. I make it there in only ten minutes and let myself in without knocking; the guys are used to it by now.

"Look who finally decided to show up!" Stone yells as soon as I show myself in the living room. I nudge his arm before giving him a warm hug, "I had work to do, you know."

"I know, dear, I'm just messing with you." he chuckles and Jeff immediately glares at him at the phrase 'messing with you', though everyone knows Stone means absolutely nothing with it.

One could say Jeff is a bit overprotective. Only a bit.

I greet the rest as well as I did with Stone, but I can't help to hug Eddie a bit tighter than the rest of the boys. But of course, he doesn't notice the difference,'cause he didn't feel the other hugs.

We're just talking about all and nothing and drinking some beers together, until Dave comes up with the idea to play 'Truth or Dare'. I sigh, I've never been a huge fan of the game, but agree nonetheless, since they're all too enthusiastic about it.

Luckily, Esmé and Debrah made it to Jeff's place as well, backing me up with some female power.

Esmé makes sure she's close to Jeff and Debrah is all over Mike as soon as she's greeted all of us. We all chuckle at the two, they're always so touchy and mushy and it used to gross us all out, but we've gotten used to it by now.

"Alright, I'll start!" I Eddie shouts after he hands everyone a drink and we're all in a somewhat comfortable position in the living room; some on the couch, some on the floor. 

I was on the floor, next to Dave, opposite from Eddie and Stone. On the two sofa's were the two happy couples: Mike and Debrah and on the opposite one Jeff and Esmé.

"Dave, Truth or Dare!" Eddie says as he looks at Dave with a grin.

Dave rolls his eyes and grunts, "Dare." he finally states.

"I dare you to down your beer all at once." he smirks, knowing Dave can't handle the alcohol as well as the rest of us. Since he's had a couple already, he'll probably feel it soon.

Dave glares at Eddie, but does the dare anyways. A couple of seconds later, the empty glass is put on the table and Dave shakes his head with eyes closed.

Everyone laughs and I briefly make eye contact with Eddie. God, that smile of his. I quickly look away, though. I don't want things to get suspicious.

The game goes on and on as well as the incoming beers. We're all tipsy at this point, Dave already drunk and Debrah on the edge of falling asleep right there and then.

It is now Mike's turn to play and he chooses me, "Truth to Dare, (Y/N)?"

I laugh a bit as I take another sip of my beer, "Dare."

"Alright," he laughs. Mike sure is drunk as well, "I dare you to give ol' mister Vedder a big smooch after opening up about your feelings." 

Mike keeps on laughing, together with Debrah, everyone else is dead silent. Especially me.

There were dares about Jeff snogging Esmé or Mike and Debrah, but they are both a couple and there's nothing going on between Eddie and me (unfortunately) , as far as I'm concerned.

Anger and the feeling of betrayal take me over and I feel some tears starting to role down my face, so I get up and leave the house to sit on the front porch.

Jeff shots Mike a look, "That was an asshole move, Mike." he says harshly.

Eddie, still completely oblivious to the reason I reacted the way I did, has probably the most confused look on his face possible.

Jeff comes to sit next to me and puts his arm around my shoulder, "Don't cry, (Y/N). Mike is just being a dick and the alcohol isn't helping his behaviour either."

I sniff, "I told you guys that out of trust. How can he just say something like that to play with my feelings?"

"I don't know, but he's an ass. Just try and relax a bit." Jeff soothed me while rubbing my back with his hand.

-Meanwhile-

"May I ask what that was about?" Eddie quietly asks Stone, who doesn't have a clue either. But Mike heard the question as well, so answered instead. 

"(Y/N) has the hots for you, man. How do you not know? She always looks at you with hearteyes, it's so obvious." Mike goes on with the laughter, though Eddie and Stone finally understand why I acted the way I did and Eddie got up immediately.

"What's wrong with you, Mike? If she told you, I assume she wanted you to keep it a secret. Have some respect for her, dude!" Eddie shouted at Mike and stormed outside, making his way over to me and Jeff.

-Outside again-

Jeff and I heard someone coming outside, so we turn around just to see one of the two people I really didn't want to see right now: Eddie.

Jeff gives both Eddie and me an apologetic smile, but stands up to leave me alone with Eddie. "I'll be inside, making sure everyone goes home, alright?"

I nod and turn my head away from him and Eddie again.

Eddie doesn't really know how to start this conversation, so he just takes a seat next to me and looks down at his hands.

"Mike is a dick, did Jeff already tell you that?" Eddie says and it makes me laugh slightly, though I still feel insanely embarrassed.

"I'm sorry I had to find out like this that you have some kind of feelings for me, (Y/N). I really am. I wished you could've just told me yourself if you were ever gonna tell me." 

I don't really know how he means this, but I am done with hiding it, since the truth is out now already. So I am just gonna be honest with him.

"I was gonna tell you actually. I wanted to ask you to hang out with me and maybe ever go out with me, just to know what you think about me, but I guess I don't have to do that anymore. I'm sorry." 

Eddie scoots a bit closer and puts his hand over mine, which makes me look up to him.

"Then I'll ask it. Let me ask you out. I want to ask you out." he says and catches me off guard.

He chuckles at my confusion, "I've known you for a short while now, (Y/N). Let me take you out to get to know you better. I can't say I've got the same feelings for you that you've got for me, I've honestly never thought about you, about us, that way, but I'd like to find out if there's something more in this. So let me take you out. I'm sure we'll both have a great time."

I am 100% sure that Eddie is the perfect guy.

"How about I take you out tomorrow? I'll pick you up at 6, how does that sound?"

It takes a while for me to process everything, "Yes, that- that sounds wonderful." I say, still a bit shocked.

He laughs, "Alright. Let's get inside again, it's freezing out here." he says and stands up.

Eddie holds out his hand for me to help me up, which I take gracefully and when I'm stood next to him, he softly kisses my cheek. "Don't let that idiot called McCready ruin this night." he whispers before we go inside again.


	9. A damn wedding - Eddie Vedder

"There's just one thing you should know, (Y/N)." Melanie, Mike's fiancé, tells me. I nod.

"Eddie will be there."

My face immediately changes from neutral to very fucking angry. That's what hearing his name does to me.

"I hope you understand that we had to invite him. It's one of Mike's best mates and he really wants Ed to be there.

"I understand." I say coldly.

Mel and I finish things up and head back home.

We were roommates for a long time when she met Mike. Through Mike we met the rest of the guys. Eddie and I got along very well and we eventually got together.

We were in a relationship for a year and a half when it abruptly ended. I told Eddie I wanted to move in with him, long story short: he didn't want to move in with me and ended it without hesitation. I still don't know the exact reason for it, but I do know that I actually never want to see him again.

I tell Melanie I'll see her tomorrow morning for the last preparations of the wedding and go home after that.

I took a couple of days off from work for the wedding, after all I'm Melanie's maid of honour.

Unfortunately, I just heard that Eddie is one of Mike's groomsmen. Of course, I could have known, Eddie is one of his best mates.

I decide to drown the thought of seeing Eddie tomorrow with some good booze. As my Chinese food get's delivered I take a seat at the couch in my living room and open a bottle of some good old whiskey.

The bottle is empty before I know it and as the headache gets worse and worse I decide it's time to call it a night. It's an early morning tomorrow and I don't want to let Melanie, nor Mike, down by coming there looking like a zombie.

The next day I dread going out of bed. I will be with Melanie the whole day and Ed will probably be there as well, for Mike. I'm trying to think of what I'm going to say to him, but I come to the conclusion that I don't feel any need to say anything to him. Ed really broke my heart, as cheesy as it sounds.

I get ready and eat some breakfast before heading to Mel and Mike's place. I knock on the door and when it's opened I'm met with and unpleasant surprise; Eddie.

He looks at me quite shocked. I look at him with an annoyed expression and make my way inside without speaking a word. Eddie stays in the doorway, baffled.

The rest of the day goes by the same. Eddie and I don't speak a word to each other and every time he is about to say something, my expression changes his mind. If he wanted to say something, he should have when he ended it without one (good) reason.

"Are you excited for tomorrow?" I ask Mel when we're packing up the last things.

She nods with a smile, "But I'm also shitting my pants." she says and we both burst out in laughter.

The guys, including Eddie, walk into the living room where Mel and I were. "Why are you shitting your pants, Mel?" Stone asks while grabbing a beer.

Mel and I can't stop laughing, but when my gaze meets Eddie's, I immediately stop laughing. "Nothing you should be concerned about, Steno." Mel says.

"(Y/N) and I are going out for dinner, our reservation is at 6, so we better head out. Don't mess the house up too badly, boys."

The laugh it off, "We'll be alright, love. I'll see you tonight." Mike says to Mel before pecking her lips.

During the whole conversation I feel a pair of eyes burning in me. I don't even have to turn around to know whose eyes are staring intently at me. I shrug it off and leave the house with Mel.

The evening went by in an instant and before I knew it I was standing in front of Mel and Mike while they were telling their vows.

It was a beautiful ceremony, the only thing that was far from beautiful was the fact that Eddie was there as well and that he kept taking glances at me. Every once in a while I'd look at him to send him a nasty look, which he then happily returned.

"You really think you're a fucking princes, don't ya?" someone whispers to me while I'm grabbing some food at the afterparty.

"Sod off." I tell him.

"Get ahold of yourself and act nice to people, it's a special day for a lot of us and you're mood is messing things up."

"I'm not messing anything up, Eddie. I'm just not being nice to you 'cause I don't see why I should be nice to you. Besides that you're the only fucking one who's told me I'm moody, so you're probably the only one who thinks I'm ruining things here."

He gave me a nasty glare and I felt a spark of victory. I noticed Mel standing just a few feet away from me so I walked up to her, "Hey gorgeous, how you feeling?" I say while nudging her.

She smiles, "Everything is just so perfect! Thanks, (Y/N), for helping and all."

"It's nothing, just enjoy yourself tonight, alright?" I say.

Before Mel can say something else, Ed has made his way over, "It's nothing indeed. You should thank the others, Mel." he says before walking up to the guys.

Mel sees the hurt in my face and hugs me. "Don't listen to him. You know I'm happier than ever that I've chosen you for this job, I wouldn't want it any other way and you've done everything I could possibly wish for."

I tell her it's alright and she shouldn't pay attention to what's going between Ed and I. She nods and tells me that if there's something I should tell her. I tell her I will, but we both know better. I won't, in any case, bother her with my problems tonight.

I walk up to where I see Stone and Jeff standing, talking to some other guys I don't know. I don't see Eddie anywhere around them so it's safe to go there.

"There you are, you look ravishing tonight Peanut." Stone says when he sees me. He's always called me Peanut, ever since we met. I don't know the exact reason for it , but I think it's a cute gesture.

"Up for a dance, (Y/N)?" Stone asks and extends his hand for me to take. I take it gracefully, "Sure Steno."

We dance slowly and peacefully, to the rhythm of the music. The peace is quickly replaced by awkwardness and an angry me.

"Just going for the others now?" I hear a voice behind Stone. Stone turns and Eddie stands in front of us.

"Ed come on, don't." Stone tries but it's too late. I'm already making my way towards the exit of the venue.

I hear Stone telling Ed down and shortly after that I hear footsteps nearing me.

Someone grabs my arm and when I turn to see who it is I completely lose it. "What do you want, Eddie?!" I whisper-scream, I don't wanna make a scene in front of all those people.

He doesn't say anything and his face is emotionless, so I turn again and make my way outside. Not without being followed.

"Stop walking, I'm exhausted." He says once we're outside in the huge garden. I laugh at his foolishness.

"Why the hell should I listen to you?" I snap, but stop walking, to his favour.

He looks at the ground, "I'm sorry, what I said earlier was out of line."

I honestly can't stop laughing. Months later and he's apologising. A bit late, ain't it?

"Why are you here?" I ask

"'Cause I'm Mike's groomsman..?"

"I mean outside, with me. Go back inside and have fun. I don't want to be near you and I don't want to see you."

His eyes meet mine for a split second, but I look away. "I want to talk about some stuff I did."

"I don't, so just leave."

He takes a step closer, "Alright I'll leave." I say and make my way back inside. I really don't wanna be around so many people right now, but I'm rather here than outside with Eddie.

"(Y/N) stop." Eddie says again, but I don't. When I'm inside, seen by the others, someone grabs my wrist and fiercely turns me around. Before I can think of what's happening I feel his lips on mine.

For a second I can't think straight, so I go along with it, but soon I realise who it is I'm kissing. I push him away. "What the hell do you think you're doing, Vedder?!" I yell, not really thinking of all the others inside.

Eddie wants to speak up, but I don't give him the chance. "You think you can just kiss me after being an actual dick to me today and for dumping me without any reason and without an explanation!?"

I'm completely losing it.

Even though my burst out, he dares to speak up. "Yes I do, 'cause I love you, (Y/N). I love you and I can't hold it back anymore. I messed up and I know. I was a dick to you 'cause I thought it would help me to lose the feelings I've got for you. But they're not fading and they won't, they're too strong. I made a massive mistake by breaking up with you and I honestly have no clue why I did it. I guess I was scared and when you asked me to move in I chickened out and I thought breaking up with you would be the solution. But it wasn't. Hell I've been a mess these past months and I can't imagine what I've put you through. I'm so sorry and I'll try to make it up to you if you give me the chance. And please (Y/N), give me a second chance. I love you so much and I'm nothing without you. I need you."

Everyone's dead silent and I'm speechless. Eddie was never one to express his feelings to anyone, not even to me sometimes. To say this confession catches me off guard is an understatement.

"I- I don't-" I try to say but Eddie cuts me off by taking a step closer and grabbing both my hands with his. "Please, I love you and I'll do anything to make it up to you. Just give me another chance."

I remove my gaze from his and awkwardly look around, "Has anyone counted how many times he said 'I love you' and 'please'?" I ask, trying to make the moment less tense and I earn a couple of giggles.

Eddie laughs embarrassed and puts his hand on my face to turn it to meet his gaze again, "Please?" he asks with a playful tone.

"I guess a second chance isn't a crime?" I quietly state when I look deeply in his eyes. This is the moment I realise my love for this man has never died. I still love him deeply, that's probably also the reason why I couldn't bare seeing him.

Before I can change my mind I feel his lips on mine again, only this time I don't push away. I melt into the kiss and savour every second of it. In the distance I can hear people clapping and 'wooh'-ing for us. I smile against his lips and realise that I haven't been this happy in a very long time.

Eddie breaks the kiss and looks at me with those beautiful eyes, "Have I already told you that I love you?"


	10. Flirty - Eddie Vedder

"Who is that guy down by the hotel?" Tracey asks me, while hanging her head out of my apartment window. 

I shrug, "One of the security guards. He always stands in front."

"He's hot!" she exclaims. She isn't wrong though, that guy is eye candy. But me being my shy and awkward self, I never have the guts to ask him out. Or even talk to him to be honest.

I hum in agreement and continue cleaning. Tracey should be helping me, but instead she's starting at the guard. "You still gonna help me or what?" I ask, laughing a bit.

She turns to me and laughs, "Yeah, sorry. You never told me about him though."

"There's nothing to tell, really. He's just one of the guards down there, I bet he's never even noticed me.

But boy was I wrong. Behind my knowledge, the guy always tries to contact me in some way, I just never look down at the right moment.

The rest of the afternoon goes by in an instant and in the meantime Tracey went home. Trace is the best friend a person could wish for, but she can also be a lot. Like this afternoon, she wouldn't stop talking about a guard from the hotel. Sometimes she should let things rest, especially my love life. That's something I don't really like to talk about. Unfortunately it's something Tracey can't stop talking about..

Suddenly there's a scream outside my window. My curiosity get's the best of me and I decide to take a look.

A woman is screaming like her life depends on it, screaming to the guard, who is standing there with his hands in the air with an expression on his face which tells me he has absolutely no idea what's going on.

"Please, call down ma'am. Easy.. Yeah, calm down." I hear him say. Wow, he has a deep voice.

He succeeds in calming the woman and talks a bit more with her, but since I'm two floors above them and they're talking quietly, I can't hear it anymore. Before she goes inside the hotel she says a quick 'sorry' and 'thank you' to the guard.

I am about to leave the windowsill, when he looks up and winks. I immediately feel myself going red, but decide to play it cool. "Thought you were a simple security guard, didn't expect you to be some kind of psychologist."

He laughs, "You don't even know me. I might possess some very good abilities you're not aware of."

"That is very true." I said while pointing a finger at him in agreement. 

I am about to turn again, when for the second time the guy grabs my attention. "We could change that though." he says and smirks at me.

I feel myself going red again, but hide it nonetheless. "Sure, mr Security Guard, we could."

I keep the 'hard to get' act, I'm not even sure if the guy is serious.

"Eddie," he says and I give him a confused look.

"My name is Eddie."

I make an 'o' with my mouth in realisation. I stay quiet for a bit, just thinking about his name. I did expect something.. rougher? But now that I think of it, Eddie suits him fairly well.

"You're not gonna tell me your name?" his voice snaps me back to reality. 

I laugh awkwardly, "Yeah, sorry. It's (Y/N)"

Eddie smiles, "That's a beautiful name for a beautiful lady." he adds with a wink.

This time I'm sure he notices me turning into a tomato shade of red, 'cause he starts laughing.

I decide to try and find out if it makes him feel the same when I compliment him like that, "Well,you certainly don't look so bad yourself, Eddie. If I'm really honest, I've never seen such a good looking security guard." I say in a playful tone, trying to make it seem like I'm not nervous as hell, and wink at him.

My compliment gets him in the same state, 'cause he looks away and I see a slightly red face from behind his hand.

"Good night, Eddie." I add and laugh.

He turns his face back, "You going already?" he nervously says, with a hint of disappointment.

I nod and he pouts which makes me laugh even harder.

"Well, good night then, (Y/N). I'll see you tomorrow." he winks, he's turned back into his confident self.

"Sure, honey." I say and close the window.

the next day I head out to go to the mall, but when I'm on my way I see that they're redoing the road, so I've gotta go through the street in the back side of the apartment building. Which is, funny enough, the street where the hotel is.

As I walk through the street, I don't even realise I could walk into Eddie. Luckily, his shift hasn't started yet.

The visit to the mall lasts longer than expected and when I leave it's already dark outside. I remember to go through the back street, but completely forget about Eddie.

"You're even shorter up close." a voice tells me, which causes me to look up at the man standing a few feet away from me. 

I was so busy thinking about what I could eat for dinner, since I forgot to buy that, that I didn't notice anything around me in the real world.

"Eddie, you're even more handsome up close." I say with a grin.

His face turns pale, but soon enough it has the colour of a tomato again. He probably didn't see me for such a flirt. I never was the type to flirt, actually. But with him it was so easy, also because he did it as well.

He smirks, "I just wanted to say the same to you, but you took the words from my mouth.."

His mood switch from speechless to confident makes me chuckle, "I'm also handsome, you say?"

Eddie realises what he's said and brushes it off, "Woman, you know what I meant."

I nod and laugh with him. "That uniform is sexy, though." I say before moving forward.

"I know I'm sexy. There's just something missing: a beautiful and sexy lady, like yourself, by my side." 

I don't even turn around to see he's smirking. I laugh and earn a snigger from Eddie.

Before the ice cream in my bag melts, I walk back to my apartment and put everything where it should be.

I take my regular seat on the windowsill and call the pizzeria to order a pizza. I wait in front of my window, secretly looking if Eddie's still there, but he isn't. I assume he's either gone home or is on a break.

The pizza arrives and I put on some music before eating it. It's pretty hot inside, since it's the summer season, so I open my window and to my surprise Eddie is back at his post.

"Oh Juliet, you're back! I have missed you so dearly!" Eddie says, well screams actually. With a very bad accent. 

His accent alone makes me burst out into laughter, "My dear Romeo, I have only been away to order some pizza."

Eddie gives me a look of betrayal, "You've got pizza?!".

I nod while shoving a piece of pizza in my mouth. "Mhmmm, Peperoni Pizza, still my fave!" I say and he pouts.

"I want pizza! How come I work here all night and I have to live with a regular cheese sandwich and you get to be home all day and eat pizza?" 

The fact that he's talking like a child makes me almost choke on my pizza. This guy is hilarious and he isn't even trying to be.

"Can you catch?" I ask.

"Course I can catch, why?" he says, puzzled.

Before he knows what's going on, I throw a slice carefully his way. His reflexes are good and he catches the slice.

"My dear god, you nearly gave me a heart attack. But you made up for it with this slice, so we're all good." 

We both finish our slice of pizza and talk a bit more after that, but soon Eddie's shift is over and he heads home.

The days go by and Eddie and I see and speak to each other on a daily basis. Every day the same flirty comments. I honestly feel a connection with him, but I'm just too shy to act upon my feelings. I've built this wall of confidence and flirting helps me, but actually opening up to him about my feelings could ruin this thing we've got going and I don't want that to happen.

It's another day of grocery shopping and ever since my first real encounter with Eddie, I always take the back street.

"There is my handsome Romeo, again." I say when I walk up to him after I've done the groceries. 

Something about Eddie is off, though. He doesn't reply immediately and his face isn't flirty as usual, but serious. "Something wrong?" I ask and he looks up. Beforehand he was staring at the ground.

This is the first time I realise his eyes are as blue as the ocean and it's the most beautiful colour I've ever seen.

He nods, "I guess. There's just a thought in my head. It's been there for a while and I don't know what to do with it." he explains.

"Why don't you tell me? Maybe I can help.." I try, I've never really seen him so serious and I don't know this side of him at all. I have no idea what he expects me to do.

He smiles shyly and looks away, "I was thinking of asking you out, on a proper date. Just the two of u, without a street and a wall separating us, eating something more formal than just pizza."

When he's done talking his gaze meets mine again and his face lights up immediately. Probably due to the fact that I've got the biggest smile on my face. "I'd love that, Eddie. Really. I've been thinking about it myself as well, actually. But I was just too scared and shy to ask you out. So thank you for asking me out."

He steps closer and hugs me carefully. Before releasing me completely he pecks my cheek. "I'm glad you think so. Shall I come by your apartment tomorrow? I can take you out then."

I nod with a slight pink colour in my cheeks, "I'll see you tomorrow, then."

"Tomorrow it is, my Juliet."

"Until tomorrow, dear Romeo."


	11. Car accident - Eddie Vedder

"(Y/N) darling stay with me!" Eddie says as he holds me.

We were in the car just a minute ago, but now I'm lying on the ground with more bruises and cuts than I can count. Hell, I am not even able to count them, I'm pretty damn unconscious.

"Come on, babe. The ambulance will be here any minute!" Eddie tries again.

You know, the 'funny' thing is: I can hear him and I really want to answer. But I can't. I can't move any part of my body, I can't form any words and I can't even open my eyes. I actually don't even remember what happened and how I came in this position on the ground.

The next hours go by without my knowledge. Eddie has a broken a finger and has a light concussion, but I'm still passed out. In the meantime they brought me to the hospital and laid me in a hospital bed.

When I open my eyes, I can't remember a thing. The last thing I remember was me and Eddie sitting in our car, on our way to the cinema.

"Baby?" I hear a voice beside me saying, quietly. I turn to look who the voice belongs to, but as soon as I move a shot of pain in my neck en through my back enters my body.

A figure comes closer and hovers over me, it is only then that I realise that it's Eddie. His hand all covered with bandages, just as a part of his forehead.

"Ed?" I whisper and immediately begin to cough.

"Sshh, don't move, it'll only make things worse." he says as he motions for a nurse to get the doctor.

I try to get up carefully, but everything hurts so much. Ed sees what I want to do and helps me. When I finally sit straight up, I look at the mess of a man beside me, holding my hand and rubbing the back of it with his thumb.

The sight of him next to me like this makes me feel so lucky. I don't even know what happened, but I do know that Eddie's probably been here for me all the time. "What happened, Ed?" I finally manage to ask.

He looks up with a sad face, "The car behind us was in a lot of speed and when the driver stepped on the breaks, she realised they didn't work. Before she knew what was happening she drove into the back of our car with full speed. I hit my head on the steering wheel and broke my finger." he says while holding up his hand to show me the cast around his hand and fingers. "But you," he continues, "you were already in front of the car when I opened my eyes. You must've flown through the window, 'cause there was nothing left of it on your side."

I try to remember anything of what Eddie tells me, but I can't.

Soon a doctor arrives and smiles at me and Eddie when he sees us. "I see you're awake now, mrs (L/N). How are you feeling?" the doctor says while he makes his way over to my bed.

I sigh, which causes me to burst into coughing again. "I'm alright as long as I don't move and don't start coughing." I answer with a small smile.

The doctor talks me through everything I've got: a bad concussion, two broken ribs, some deep cuts in my legs and arms and a sprained ankle. He says I'm quite lucky to be alive and well.

"I'm afraid you're gonna have to stay in for a couple of days. With your concussion and the broken ribs, it's best if we keep a close eye on you." he says at last and I immediately feel the need to gag. If there's something I hate, it's hospitals, especially staying in them.

I look at Eddie, who gives me an apologetic look, "I think you should listen to them. The more they can help you, the quicker you'll heal." he says, still holding my hand and rubbing it softly.

"Won't you be staying? You'v got a concussion too.." I try. It will be so much less bad if Eddie's with me.

But he shakes is head, "I've got a very light concussion, there's no need for me to stay. But I'll stay with you as long as possible. Just please, listen to the doctor and stay here. You know it's best for you. Don't worry about me."

I realise he's right and I don't want to let him down, so I tell the doctor I'll stay as long as possible.

We go through all the medication and the amount of time I need to take everything and all the other stuff I need to know. The doctor eventually leaves me and Eddie alone in my room.

"It will be weird sleeping in our bed without you, though." Eddie says with a playful tone and chuckles lightly. I nudge his arm and pat the space beside me for him to sit on.

He gives me a look, "I'll hurt you."

"No, you won't. Just help me to move to the side a bit and sit next to me." I say in a fake stern voice.

"Alright, miss. Eddie Vedder at your service." he mimics a soldier or something like that and does what he's told.

I snuggle into his embrace, for as much as that's possible. He puts his arm around me and starts drawing random things with his finger on my arm.

Eddie rests his head softly on mine and we just sit there for a few minutes in silence, enjoying each others presence.

"I was so scared I'd lost you today." Eddie finally speaks up. I hear his voice crack and I start to feel some tears welling up in my eyes as well.

"But you didn't. I'm still here." I say as I move my head back to look him in the eyes. "I'm here with you and I'll never leave you, Eddie. Never."

We're both quiet for a while, staring into each others eyes.

"Marry me." I hear him say.

I look at him in disbelief, "What?" I whisper.

"Will you marry me, (Y/N)?" he asks again. Now I'm certain I wasn't just hearing things. Eddie just asked me to marry him.

It was the last thing I'd expected him to ask, but hearing him saying those words is the best feeling in the world.

"I realised that I can't live without you. I really can't. I love you so much and you're my whole world. I wouldn't know what to do without you and today it was almost over. It was almost too late. I'm asking you now 'cause I'm so fucking certain about this. I'm so sure that I want to spend of my life with you. I've never been so sure about something."

He starts rambling a bit, probably because I haven't said anything yet. I cut him off by softly and carefully bringing my lips against his in a very passionate kiss.

"Of course I'll marry you, silly. You're everything I'll ever need in my life and I'm also very sure I want to spend the rest of it with you."

We both smile at each other with the biggest smiles ever.

"Then let's get married. As soon as you're all healed again." he says with a huge grin.

"How about we do that."

Eddie comes closer and kisses me again. "We're getting married."

"We're getting married, Ed."


	12. The little sister - Eddie Vedder

I don't know why I even agreed to stay at Stone's place while my parents and I were in Seattle to visit him, I could've also stayed at the hotel my parents are staying at. But no, my parents thought it was good for me and Stone so we could 'catch up'. They have always been oblivious to the fact that Stone and I can't go together in one room. Everything he does or says annoys me, same counts for him: everything I do or say annoys him, even more so actually.

But that's how it usually goes with brothers and sisters, right?

I've been here for a couple of days now and there's still two and a half weeks to go. End me please.

Tonight Stone is having this party at his place, which means I've got to put up with his friends as well.

As I walk into the kitchen to prepare lunch, Stone walks up to me. "The party is tonight, you know that right?" he asks and I hum in confirmation.

"I expect you to be upstairs all night. I don't want you to ruin things." he says, coldly.

I scoff and turn to face him, honestly not expecting him to be serious. I know he doesn't like being around me, but actually abandoning me upstairs during his party goes a little far, doesn't it?

There's no point in arguing with him, so I turn back to what I was doing without saying anything and soon enough I hear Stone leaving the kitchen.

The hours go by and while Stone has been busy preparing stuff for the party, I have been listening to some music and doing some writing. It's my passion to become a writer of some sort.

"It's time for you to go up, (Y/N)." Stone says after the doorbell rang.

"I am already on my way, Stone." I say, emphasising his name, since he always does that to me as well. It's so annoying, but then again, what's not annoying about Stone being my older brother?

About two or three hours go by and I really feel the need for some booze. I've been up in Stone's spare room all night and I need to leave this place, even if it's just for a minute.

I head down to get a beer, unfortunately not going unnoticed by Stone, who gives me a look that could kill someone. "What are you doing here?" he asks as I receive some looks from the people who are currently in his house.

I open the fridge and take out a beer, "That's quite obvious, isn't it?" I say, holding up the beer to show him better.

Stone rolls his eyes, "You're not even allowed to drink, so put that back and go upstairs again."

Stone telling me down or insulting me never hurt me, but the fact that he doesn't even know how old I am, actually hurts a bit. I'm not one to admit the fact that it hurts me sometimes, the way Stone and I act towards each other. I would love to get along with him and have a 'perfect family', but we're both too damn stubborn to admit things like that and change.

"Actually Stone, I turned 21 two weeks ago, thanks for letting me know how much your family means to you. So, since I'm allowed to drink, I'm gonna take these with me. And no, I'm not gonna go upstairs right now, 'cause I'm sick of you telling me what to do. I'm old enough to do what I want."

As Stone's expression turns from cold and confident into speechless, I feel a hint of victory and make my way outside into the backyard of his house.

Taking small sips from the beer, it is only now that I realise there were people watching the scene inside. I feel a bit embarrassed, but I'm still proud of telling him down. I don't care about the consequences, I am just sick of being treated by Stone the way I was treated.

I can only enjoy the fresh air alone for so long. A guy comes walking up to me. He seems familiar, but I can't put my finger on it. His long, brown, wavy hair whirling in the wind.

"You're the first one ever to tell Stone down like that. You sure you wanna live after tonight?" the guy asks while stopping beside me.

I chuckle, "I will live after tonight, don't worry. Stone is just my asshole brother. I'm done pretending not to be alive when he's got friends around."

The guys nods in agreement and takes a sip of his beer as I do the same. "I'm Eddie, by the way. The lead singer of Stone's band."

That's it! Eddie Vedder. Now I remember him, from the pictures of their band Stone sent my parents.

"I'm (Y/N). Stone's sister.."

He chuckles and I role my eyes while saying Stone's name.

"You know, you wouldn't say you're Stone's sister." Eddie suddenly speaks up after a short silence.

I look up to face him with a puzzled look, "What do you mean?"

"Well, Stone is just Stone. But you, you are pretty damn gorgeous." Eddie says bluntly.

I don't know if it's the alcohol kicking in or the compliment Eddie just gave me, but I immediately feel my cheeks turning very red.

"Oh, well- ehm, thanks. You don't look so bad yourself." I say awkwardly.

Eddie laughs at my awkwardness.

We stay outside for a bit longer before Eddie tells me he's heading inside again. "You coming as well?"

I shake my head, "I don't really feel like being in the same room as Stone, right now. It won't do any of us good."

Eddie pouts, "Ahw come on. Screw Stone. Don't let him ruin your night."

On one hand Eddie's right, but on the other I'm too tired for more bullshit. "You go, I'll stay here a bit longer.

But Eddie shakes his head, "Nope, you're coming with me." he says and grabs my arm to drag me inside.

When we get inside, Eddie notices one spot on the couch is empty, so he drags both himself and me over to the spot and takes a seat. Without any pardon he pulls me down with him so I'm sitting in his lap. I feel the heat rising up to my cheeks again but try to cover it by subtly taking a gulp of my beer.

"You must be the infamous (Y/N) Gossard." the guy next to us says while patting my back a couple of times. "I'm Jeff, the band's bass player."

I nod and tell him it's nice to meet him. Jeff introduces some other people in the room sitting around us and I really try to act interested. I am interested! There's just something else distracting me fiercely and I can't help but feel slightly touched and awkward.

Eddie's running one of his hands slowly up and down my back, but in the meantime he's made his way underneath my shirt. He did it so subtly, so the others wouldn't notice, but I definitely noticed and I can't help but be stiff.

He finished his beer and puts it down, which means he's got another free hand. With this hand he's now rubbing my upper legs.

I have never been one to be so touchy and I am definitely not used to this. So I abruptly get up and tell everyone I'm going to get another beer and meet some other people.

Eddie chuckles lightly but stays in his seat, which makes me loosen up a bit. I had really tensed up by his touch without even noticing.

Luckily, Stone is nowhere to be found when I grab a new beer out of the fridge. I decide it's been enough company for tonight and head upstairs again. When I'm on top of the stairs I hear a faint squeak, as if someone else is also getting up, but I shrug it off, 'cause there's no reason for anyone to come up.

How wrong was I. As soon as reach the guest room, the door is slammed closed behind me and Eddie pins me against it after putting one hand on my left shoulder and the other on my right side.

"Ed-" I try, but before I can even finish his name he smacks his lips against mine in a hungry kiss.

After realising what's going on, I lose myself completely under his touch. He notices I'm still holding the beer and moves to the bed while grabbing the beer from me and placing it on the bedside table.

Eddie, who never broke the kiss, has now pinned me down on the bed and is hovering above me.

After a couple more minutes of making out roughly, we finally part to get some air. At first Eddie has his eyes closed, but when he opens them I'm met with the most beautiful eyes in this whole damned universe.

I open my mouth to say something but I'm cut off by Eddie pecking my lips quickly. "I could say 'sorry' now, but I'm not sorry at all." he says and we both chuckle.

He looks at me for a while, "You're something different, (Y/N). You've got something that attracts me so badly."

I smirk, "Then I guess it's a good thing that I'd like to get to know you better as well?" I ask playfully.

He moves his head down to my neck, "Indeed it is." he says as he's leaving a trail of wet, sloppy kisses.


	13. The backroom - Eddie Vedder

"(Y/N), the Mookie guys are here, go help them." Laika, my colleague, tells me.

I wasn't really paying attention to what she said, 'cause I was helping some customers at another table.

"Didn't you hear me?" she says and I look up to her, "I said: the Mookie guys are here, which includes Eddie."

My eyes go wide and she starts laughing, "Go help the guys, I'll take care of these lovely people over here." she says, sending the old couple I was helping a smile, which they return.

"Yeah, 'course." I stutter. Why does is name already make me so nervous?

As soon as the guys notice me walking up to their table they all start yelling my name. I tell them to shut up, feeling embarrassed by all the attention.

"How come you're always the one who's helping us when we're here, even though you were helping others and your colleague wasn't helping anyone?" Stone remarks with a devilish grin on his face.

I feel my face going slightly red, "She knows we're friends. And she doesn't like you."

They all start laughing, knowing I was just kidding about the last part.

"So, what can I get you?" I say while grabbing my tiny notebook and a pen out of my apron.

I take all of their orders and bring it to them as soon as I've got everything on the serving-tray.

"Why don't you stay with us for a bit?" Eddie says when I'm about to turn and leave to help others.

The shade of my cheeks is definitely tomato red by now. I turn back to face Eddie and earn some smirks from the other boys, "Yeah (Y/N), why don't you?"

I glare at Mike.

"I would love to stay, but I can't. There are other customers I need to serve.."

Eddie nods. If I didn't know better I'd say he was disappointed, but it's probably just my imagination; seeing things I'd like to be real.

"I'll see you guys around." I say but Jeff grabs my arm.

I turn and give him a puzzled look.

"Hang out with us tonight. It's just us and Dave's girlfriend. You should take your lovely colleague with you as well." He adds the final part with a wink.

I slap him playfully, "You're an animal, Jeff. But yeah, I'll make sure I'll be there and I'll try to get Laika with me."

"Laika, huh? Special name." Jeff says, as if he's deeply in though about it.

"See you tonight then." I finally say before really leaving, but not after glancing at Eddie who seemed to be beaming with happiness.

As I walk away I think about why Eddie would suddenly be so happy. Maybe it's because someone he's interested is coming tonight? It's probably Laika then.. Why would he be interested in me? I've been drooling over him for months, but he never made a move so it must be Laika he's interested it.

the day goes by and Laika agrees to come with me to the guys tonight. Before they left Stone came to tell me they'll be at his place. I already know where he lives, so that's good.

The night with the guys was great. We all had a couple of drinks and talked about everything with some good music playing in the background.

Every now and then I would glance at Eddie and every time I would find him already looking at me. But I kept convincing myself it was just my imagination, after all I am still convinced that it was Laika being there what made him happy.

A couple of days passed and it's time to get back to work again. My shift, which is a night shift this time, starts too soon to my liking. Laika won't be working, 'cause she has an important exam first thing in the morning.

It's a slow evening and I start cleaning the tables after I've helped everyone who's inside.

When the bell of the diner rings I look up to see the Mookie guys again. I smile to myself and make my way over the the booth they chose to sit in after putting down my cleaning stuff.

"You come here a lot more often recently." I state while taking out my notebook and a pen out of my apron.

Stone laughs and nudges Eddie, "Yeah well, there is a reason for everything, right?"

Eddie's face becomes a slight shade of pink, but I shrug it off and pretend I didn't notice anything, "Huh?"

"It's nothing." Eddie quickly says without looking up.

"Oh alright. Anyways, what can I get you boys this time?"

They all tell me their orders and as I write them down I feel a certain pair of eyes never leaving mine.

"Alright, I'll bring it to you as soon as it's ready." I say with a smile while looking at all of them one by one, my gaze lingering a bit longer on Eddie.

"Yeah you do that." Stone adds with a smirk and my confusion just keeps growing by his behaviour.

What is going on and why is Stone acting like he knows something I don't?

About 20 minutes later I get called that the food for the boys is ready to be served. I take it with me and when I arrive at their table I notice there's only one guy left, Eddie.

"Here's your food. Where are the other guys, though?" I ask him.

He looks up and smiles slightly, "They're having a smoke."

My mouth makes the form of an 'o'. "Well, make sure they'll be in soon, otherwise their food will get cold."

Eddie nods, but doesn't even have to get up to get the boys, 'cause they're already making their ways back to the booth.

But Eddie does get up, without my knowledge, after I tell them all to enjoy their dinner and if anythings wrong they should just call for me.

I feel someone following me, but I shrug it off, once again, and make my way into the backroom of the diner.

That's when I definitely know someone was following me. The door is shut closed behind me and before I can turn to see what going on I feel myself being pressed against the wall by a quite muscular figure.

"Eddie?" I whisper.

"I can't wait any longer. I can't keep it quiet anymore." he says and I've got no fucking clue what he's talking about.

But as soon as I feel his lips pressed against mine in a, what feels definitely desperate, kiss, I'm quite sure what he's talking about.

He leaves my lips with much hesitation and barely dares to look into my eyes afterwards, but he does it nonetheless.

"I-" I start, but I really don't know what to say. I guess you could say my one and only dream has just come true.

He looks at me with a worried expression.

"You should've told me sooner, though." I say and chuckle, trying to get rid of all the tension between us.

Eddie looks at me with a puzzled look, "What d'ya mean?" he says and I can still feel his breath on my lips. It makes me want to grab him by the collar of his flannel and press his lips against mine even harder than before.

"You should've told me you were interested in me. I had no fucking clue you did. But if you did tell me sooner, we could've shared that very nice kiss way earlier."

He finally loosens up a bit and a playful smile enters his face. "You thought that was nice? I can assure you I can do much better." He says. "I guess the nerves got the best of me and made sure I lacked of performance." he adds the last part in an awkward and nervous tone.

"We could do it again, you know. Without you being nervous."

His eyes light up, "I'd love nothing more."

I feel his lips pressing against mine again and he's right. This time it's so much better and I completely melt into the kiss and into him.

We're interrupted by someone who's loudly banging on the door Eddie just closed after we came in here.

We part and both start giggling.

"What's taking you so long, Vedder?" We hear Mike yelling.

"None of your business, McCready. Go and eat your dinner." Eddie replies and we start laughing harder.

Eddie has his hands rested on both my sides and I never want him to take them away.

"Alright, alright. So it's a good sign, then?"

"Very good." I scream before Eddie can say anything, which makes us laugh even harder and harder than before.

Mike eventually leaves and we can hear him and the other guys cheering after Mike tells them the 'good news'.

"So, you'll let me do this more often then?" Eddie asks, turning his attention back to me again. Softly stroking my cheek with one hand, the other hand is still on my waist.

I nod, "As often as you want, mr pretty-eyes."

We both laugh at the terrible nickname and he places a soft kiss on my cheek. Eddie grabs my hand and drags me out of the backroom back into the diner.

I completely forget I'm at work, until my boss calls me and I turn a tomato shade of red in an instant.

"Oops." is all Eddie can manage and it causes us both to laugh again.

"Go get back to work, I'll call you tomorrow. Good luck with the boss." he says before pecking my lips.

"Bye Ed." I say and smile widely at him while he slowly lets go of my hand which he was still holding.

"Bye guys!" I yell at the others while walking backwards towards where my boss was standing.

"Bye bye, (Y/N). We'll see you around!" they all say with some chuckles and big smiles on their faces.

"Even more often than before." I say with a wink and Eddie blows me a kiss.

"Good night, guys."


	14. Lollapalooza - Eddie Vedder

"Girls, you're up in 5, 4, 3, 2, now!" our manager tells us and off we go on stage.

The crowd is already amazing. As soon as we're visible everyone starts cheering and clapping and screaming and whatever they're doing.

"Hey everyone!" I scream into the mic and the crowd get's even louder. I smile to myself. I still don't believe me and the girls have kicked it this far already.

I gesture for the crowd to be silent and they do as they're told.

The girls behind me are getting ready for the show; making sure the guitars, bass guitars, drums and all are in the right place.

"So before we get started I wanna introduce my band for the ones who don't know us. My name is (Y/N). On my left, playing the bass, is Laura. On my right, playing the guitar, is Denise and behind me, playing the drums, is the one and only Ivy. And all together you may call us Sunset Patrol."

Everyone claps and cheers again.

When it becomes silent again, I count from 1 to 4 to my bandmates and we start playing our first song.

We play our entire set with one short break near the end to let the crowd think we're already done. Typical, right? But we love to do it.

"You girls rocked it. Congrats!" our manager says when we get backstage.

We all thank him and just talk a bit about the performance.

"I've never seen such a pretty girl on stage rocking like that." a voice behind me suddenly says.

When I turn I'm faced with the one and only Eddie Vedder.

"Why thank you, mr Vedder."

He smirks, "you know me?"

"Don't act like you're a regular guy. Probably everyone in this place knows you." I say and laugh at him.

He gives in and laughs as well.

"So you already know me, but I'm not really familiar with you. Why don't we change that?" he says and winks at me.

I must admit he's damn handsome and the wink causes some butterflies to grow in my stomach.

Laura, Denise and Ivy have already left to go get some drinks without me knowing. I guess they thought I was too busy to be interrupted.

"Yeah sure, why not?" I say coolly, trying not to show my attraction towards to guy too much.

We reach the bar backstage, both not being in the mood to be run over by fans.

"So, tell me something about yourself." Eddie says while sipping his beer.

I tell him all about the band and how we got together and that this was our first major festival. I tell him about my personal life as well, not too much, just enough for him to really get to know me.

When I'm done it's Eddie's turn to tell me about Pearl Jam and about his personal life.

"Sooo...." Eddie says after he's finished his second beer.

I look at him expectantly, curious to know what he wants to say.

"You've got a boyfriend or something?" he asks nonchalantly and it makes me chuckle, "Nope. No boyfriend for me. What about you? Is there any special girl in your life?"

He shakes his head, "Haven't been involved with anyone for a while now." he laughs.

I give him a look, "That can't be true. There must've been at least a couple one night stand or something, right?"

He shakes his head again, "Thanks for letting me know how you think of me." he shakes and holds up his third beer.

"I'm sorry," I laugh, "I didn't mean it like that. I just figured someone as handsome as you would've gotten at least something.."

Eddie smiles, "Well, thanks for the compliment, but no, I haven't gotten any for a pretty damn long time."

Eddie and I talk for much longer and eventually both the girls of my band and the guys from Pearl Jam come back backstage.

They all tell us they're going home, but both Eddie and I decide to stay a little longer. Eddie has a car, so he can drop me off at my hotel whenever we want to leave this place as well.

We go outside and walk around at the location for a while. The alcohol is starting to get its affect on both Eddie and me, 'cause we both get more touchy towards each other.

"You've got small hands." Eddie states while he looks at my hand he's holding in front of his face. 

"Shut up."

"I've got big hands. And big feet. You know what that means." Eddie smirks and I can't help but slap him playfully. As I'm about to slap him a second time, I trip over my own feet and Eddie catches me with his strong arms. 

"Oops." I giggle and Eddie laughs as well. 

"Don't worry, Darlin'. I've got you." he winks and again I can feel those damn butterflies again.

We walk back to the stage, but don't go backstage. We just stay outside next to the main stage.

"You're very nice, Eddie." I suddenly say without even thinking straight. You could say I'm close to being drunk. 

Besides the beers we also consumed some stronger booze.

"Why, thank you. I must admit you peaked my interest, dear (Y/N)." 

I giggle, "You know, maybe we should just kiss?"

"Yeah we could do that."

So, as said, we start kissing each other. It begins with an innocent, sloppy, kiss. Soon it develops into something more passionate and eventually Eddie has me pinned against a wall and we're both all over each other.

Everything he's doing to me feels so good, but I don't want things to go fast. I mean, Eddie told me he wasn't a guy for one night stands, so this must be more serious than that, right?

I push Eddie back slightly to gain me conscious and get my breathing back to normal, "Sorry. I hate to stop, though. But I don't want things to get too heated. Not here, anyways."

He smiles, "You're right." he says and adds a quick peck on my cheek.

"Let me get you back to the hotel, so you can sober up and call me tomorrow if you're still in this. I'd like to see where this could go. I like you." He says while grabbing my hand and he leads me backside so we can get our stuff together.

"Yeah, that sounds great. I like you too."


	15. Goodbye - Eddie Vedder

"You sure you can't come with us?" Ed asks one last time, a pout forming on that gorgeous face of his.

The guys are going on tour for seven months, which means I won't get to see them for seven months. As much as I love the other guys, I can cope with their absence, but I really don't know if I can be without Eddie for that long.

"As much as I'd love to come, Hailey, my boss, won't let me go, she needs me in the shop. Besides that I still need to buy some stuff for the next semester.."

Eddie notices I'm sad about it and hugs me, "I'll miss you, though."

"I'll miss you as well." I say and I already feel tears forming in my eyes again; this isn't the first time we're talking about it and I've shed tears about it before. This time I want to stay strong, though, so I hold them back and I snuggle more into Eddie's embrace. 

We spend the day together, most of the time it's me helping Eddie and making sure he's got everything packed. Every now and then I'll make sure to steal a flannel or shirt from him for me to wear when he's away. I always love wearing his stuff. It's oversized for me and I love oversized clothes. But what I love most about it is that it's Eddie's and his scent is all over it.

Time flies and soon it's time for the boys to make their way over to the airport. I, of course, go with them to say good bye one last time.

Eddie and I decided to take our own car instead of going in the van with the guys, just to enjoy each others company for a bit longer. "I'm so proud of you, Ed." I say while he's driving. He smiles and places a hand on my knee, quickly stealing a glance in my direction.

"Thank you, dear." he says and squeezes my knee softly. 

The rest of the ride to the airport is spent in silence, music playing softly over the radio.

"So, that's all." I tell Eddie after taking out his last suitcase. 

We make our way inside the airport, to the rest of the guys and the manager. "There you are Ed, we almost thought you'd leave us to stay with (Y/N)" Mike teases.

"Shut up, McCreapy. It's not like you have to miss your lover for a long time, you don't even have one.." I shot back and receive some laughter from the guys and a defeated expression from Mike.

"So, lover, eh?" Eddie whispers in my ear, a smirk plastered on his face, as we walk through he airport. I nudge his shoulder playfully and he makes sure to take my hand in his afterwards, intertwining our fingers. 

After a couple of minutes Stone comes up to us, "You look awfully sad, (Y/N). You should be happy, though. Eddie's gonna break through as a famous singer!"

I smile to myself and the guys, but can't help the sadness still lingering somewhere, "I know that, Steno. It's just-" for a moment I can't find the words and I feel a tear creeping down my face once again. Eddie notices the tear and quickly wipes it away with his thumb. "I'm just gonna miss him."

Eddie smiles and starts rubbing the back of my hand, which he is still holding, with his thumb.

A good twenty minutes later we arrive at the security and it's time for us to say goodbye. Eddie tells the guys to go, that he'll catch up later, and turns to me.

Slowly, he puts his hand on my face and brushes his thumb over my cheek. "Why am I always so emotional with everything?" I sniff, trying to smile at him. He chuckles and pulls me in his warm embrace. "It's humane, darling."

Not being able to hold back the tears, I sob into his shirt, completely soaking the spot below his shoulder. Eddie starts rubbing my back and says comforting words in my ear.

I pull back, clean my face from tears and grab his hands. "Alright, enough now."

Eddie smiles, but I can see the tears behind his eyes. He's just trying to hold them back so it is easier for me to let him go, it'll just be a mess if we both start crying and he knows that.

"Call or text me as much as you can. Stay safe for me, okay? I'll miss you, but we'll get through this. You and I, we can do this. We're strong. I love you, Ed. I'll try to come to a couple of shows, just keep me posted on the info, yeah?"

Eddie nods slowly. Even though he tried to keep back the tears, some fall down after I'm finished talking. I pull him into my embrace and I can hear him crying softly.

"God (Y/N), I'll miss you so much. I never thought it'd be this hard. But yeah, I'll do everything to call or text you and I'll keep you updated about the shows. You stay safe as well, alright? If somethings wrong, you can always call Chris or the others, they'll be there for you when I can't be."

he slowly pulls back, tears still coming down. I reach for his face and swipe them away, cupping his face with my hands. "I love you too, (Y/N)." he says and takes my hand and kisses it.

"Hey lovebirds! You done crying? We've got a plane to catch!" Mike yells from the other side of the security.

"Screw you, McCheapy!" I yell and Eddie chuckles through his tears.

"I guess it's time for you to go." I say softly.

Eddie nods, "I guess, yeah."

"Have fun, love. Go rock some shows and become famous." I say while playfully stomping him with my fist against his chest. 

"I will, darling. Bye, don't miss me too much." He smirks and winks at me.

"Bye sweetheart."

We kiss one last time, as if it's our last kiss ever. Never had there been so much passion and love.

But then again, how often do you have to say goodbye to you boyfriend for seven months?


	16. The shy one - Eddie Vedder

"You're serious?" Ellie asks with wide eyes.

"I am, why?"

"Pearl Jam, really?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Pearl fucking Jam?! You really serious?!"

"God damn Ellie, what are you on about?" I yell at her, frustrated by her behaviour.

Ellie seems to snap back to the real world bye my outburst and blinks a couple of times before speaking up again. "Sorry, I just can't believe you're actually gonna meet the guys. They're so talented!"

"Yeah, they are. I'm probably not gonna really be around them that much, though. I just need to make sure everything planned well and stuff. I'm not needed in the actual recording room. I always sit by the small bar, making schedules and stuff."

Ellie nods, "I know, but it's still cool, isn't it?"

"It is, they make great music." I smile, finally understanding why she went loco earlier. Ellie's a huge PJ fan and now I'm gonna meet them. It's just really unfortunate that she can't come inside. The only way you'll get inside the studio is if you're either the artist or if you work in the studio. Ellie does neither. I've got the privilege to work in the studio, thanks to my uncle. He used to own the studio and when he realised I've got a talent for making very good schedules, he asked me to work with him to make schedules for the artists.

Of course, I said yes immediately. I needed money and I actually liked the job he offered me. Not because I am horny for attention from famous people, most of the time I barely talk to the artists anyway, but because I like planning things. I like making things organised and planning out arrangements.

Ellie and I talk about work and other things for some time until I have to go to work. She tells me to call her later tonight to tell her about the boys and I laugh but tell her I'll do it.

"There is my favourite niece!" Robert, my uncle, exclaims when I walk inside the studio.

I laugh, "I am your only niece, Rob."

"Still my fave." he winks and gives me a hug when I reach him.

I put my things down only my desk afterwards and make some coffee for the both of us; it's become some kind of tradition for me to do that.

"Excited to meet the ones behind Pearl Jam?" Rob asks when I hand him his cup of coffee.

I nod, "I bet they'll make even better music with you on their team."

"Oh, (Y/N), you flatter me too much." he says as if I just told him he's the best producer in the world.

"Keep on dreaming, uncie."

I go back to my desk to sort some things out. I start planning the next arrangements with Pearl Jam. It's also my job to keep the e-mails updated. I notice there's another band that wants to work in my uncle's studio next year. I give him the good news and we share a piece of cake, which my aunt must've made earlier today, in celebration.

Time goes by and before I realise, the guys from Pearl Jam make their way inside to studio. My uncle greats them as if they've known each other for a lifetime and soon as they reach the bar area (in which my desk is also placed, in the back) he introduces me.

"This is my niece, (Y/N). She plans all the arrangements and stuff I'm no good in." he adds playfully.

All the guys introduce themselves and kindly shake my hand. It's all nothing but kindness in their faces, though in Eddie's face is also something else, mischievousness, maybe?

Everyone soon disappears into the recording area and I'm left to do my work. Every now and then one of the guys, sometimes two, come in and ask for something to drink. It's a second job I do, working behind the bar, since it's no big deal.

"So, you'll be here more often, then?" the singer asks me while I hand him a glass of water.

I nod, "I work here full-time, so yeah. I'll be here as much as you guys will be."

"Good, that means I can see that pretty face of yours very much these upcoming weeks." Eddie smirks and winks at me before going back into the recording area.

His comment leaves me flabbergasted and speechless. Did he really just flirt with me? Eddie Vedder? Flirting with me? (Y/N) (L/N)? Nope probably not. I'm just imagining things.

It's not that I don't believe it because I've got this huge crush on him and I think he's too good for me, 'cause I don't. Really, he's just another guy. I mean yeah, he's an amazing singer and he's got good looks, but that doesn't make him any better of a man than others. It's just that I never expected him to flirt with me, that's why he left me speechless.

"Hey there, again." a voice interrupts my concentration on the e-mails I was just reading. I look up to find Eddie standing in from of my desk with, once again, a smirk plastered on his face. I immediately feel myself go red and I look down again.

"What can I do for you, mr Vedder?" I say shyly.

"Oh dear, calling me 'mr Vedder' and all. Just call me Eddie please.. And I came here for a drink, can you help me with that, love?"

His tone was even more flirtatious than before and it actually caused some goosebumps to appear on my skin. I was very much intimidated by the guy and hearing him calling me 'love' was the right way to get me even more flustered than I already was.

"Oh- ehm, yeah sure- I mean of course.." I ramble and Eddie chuckles at my awkwardness.

I quickly get up and go behind the bar to pour him a glass of water, but he declines it and says "I could use something strong, dear. Do me a favour and pour me some of your best whiskey."

Without saying anything, I do as I'm told and hand him a glass of whiskey, our fingers brushing slightly against each others and I can feel my face go even redder than before. Even though I'm not looking at him, I know Eddie's smirking. He's probably very much aware of the affect he's having on me.

"Take drink yourself too, gorgeous. You deserve one." he says and winks, before leaving again.

As soon as he's left I put down my drink and run to get my phone. I dial Ellie's number and when she answers I can't stop talking.

"El you need to help me I- I don't know what to do, Eddie keeps flirting with me and I can't handle it and it's getting on my nerves and I'm really about to break into tears 'cause I don't know what to do and you know how I am around guys and I just can't-"

"Breath, (Y/N), breath!"

"How do I do that again?!"

"Don't overreact! Just calm your mind. Count to ten with me."

And so we did. After a minute or two Ellie has me calmed down. We talk about what happened and she helps me with a plan for me to survive the rest of the evening.

The plan works and without getting another panic attack, I make it through the night. Robert eventually sends me home when they're almost done recording for the day. Fortunately I didn't have to spend more alone time with Eddie than necessary.

But of course, today is another day and I will face Eddie again. It's not that I don't want to see him, it's just that his presence makes me nervous, especially when he's all flirty around me.

"Good morning guys, can I get you something to drink?" I ask the guys when they're inside the next morning.

I receive some 'good morning's' back and Stone and Mike tell me they're in for a good cup of coffee. I make my way behind the bar and make them a good, strong, cup of coffee and hand it to them. During my every action, I can feel someone's eyes boring into me and I don't have to turn around to know whose eyes are on me. Eddie's said nothing yet, he's just been standing at the bar with his usual smirk on his face.

When I do turn, Eddie's smirk increases and he decides it's funny to play a game called 'make (Y/N) as awkward as possible'. But before he can say anything I excuse myself to the bathroom. I'm known to make a fool of myself when I'm around guys that intimidate me and I'm not in the mood to make a fool of myself in front of my uncle and the other PJ guys. Enough is enough.

When I get back the guys are, fortunately, gone and into the recording area of the studio. Since there is nothing else to do, all the work from yesterday and today already being done, I decide to clean the studio a bit. All goes well until someone gets in the room, makes their way over to me and stops behind me.

"You're really the full-package, aren't you? Doing all the paper work, being a barmaid, and now, cleaning the studio."

I don't have to turn around to know who that voice belongs to. I try to hide my awkwardness and say "Can I help you?"

I turn around and see Eddie smirking, "Nope, not really."

My confusion sends him in laughter, "What are you doing here then?" I ask, still remaining conifdent.

"Am I not allowed to be here?"

Yup, there it goes, my confidence, can you see it flying away? "Oh- ehm, yeah, of- of course.."

Eddie's smirk increases when he notices I dropped my confidence and he takes a step closer. "You're very easily flustered (Y/N)."

I can't seem to focus on anything but him and I feel myself go as red as a tomato. Eddie takes another step closer and pushes a strand of hair behind my ear. Leaving his hand on my cheek and brushing it with his thumb.

I realise there's no reason for me to act oblivious to his actions anymore. "Why are you doing this, Eddie?" I ask, scared as hell.

Eddie looks at me and for a second his smirk vanishes, "Because you're gorgeous (Y/N), can't you see? Also because you're smart and kind and hard-working and talented. Those are definitely things that attract me."

If I didn't know any better I'd say he wasn't just flirting, but he was actually genuine about it, but I push that thought aside when his smirk returns.

"And because your awkwardness is a big turn on, dear."

My jaw drops as soon as that comment left his mouth and my eyes go wide. Never had someone been so bold and blunt. What the hell am I supposed to do?!

Eddie's hand leaves my cheek and soon after, both his hands are resting on my sides. He tilts me up and puts me onto the table behind me. He opens my legs and stands inbetween them, pushinf his body roughly against mine.

"Don't worry dear, all will be alright. Just let me handle this, yeah?" he says and without knowing what I'm doing, I nod.

Eddie comes closer and closer and teases me, slightly brushing his lips against mine. I feel like I'm on cloud fucking nine, especially when he actually starts kissing me. He kisses me roughly, but passionately nonetheless. The kiss is filled with unleashed tension and it's something I've never experienced before.

When we break apart I manage to get a quick "Aren't you needed in the studio?" and he laughs, "No dear, they're busy with the instruments. I told them I needed a break." And he reconnects his lips with mine.

Everything got a bit heated and after 30 minutes I realise I just did something I never even thought would ever happen.

I look at Eddie, who is panting above me, and whisper "I can't believe we just did it on my desk.."

Eddie chuckles, his badass behaviour long gone and replaced by genuine affection. "I can't believe it either, but I did enjoy it very much." He says and kisses me again.

I kiss him back, "Me too, Ed. Thank you."

"No, (Y/N), thank you." He winks and once again, Eddie has me flustered.


	17. Don't cry - Eddie Vedder

Eddie and the guys had just come back from tour. Tonight will be another show, a 'we're back in Seattle' kinda thing. I'm so happy for them to have come so far already and I can't wait to see them again.

They needed some time to unload everything and Eddie said he'd call me when he was free to meet up. The call just never came. Hours went by and Eddie still hadn't called. At first I thought he just needed more time than expected, but now I'm pretty sure he either forgot, or he doesn't want to see me. The latter just doesn't make sense, he would've said something before if there was a problem. We've been together for almost a year now and we've never had any real problems, if there was something that bothered one of us, we would speak up about it and talk it out.

Another 30 minutes pass before I decide to call Ed myself, but he doesn't answer. It's a good thing I know where their PJ-homebase is, 'cause I decide to go over to them. It takes me 15 minutes to reach the small garage they always store their stuff, but there's no one to be seen. I figure they're already at the venue for the show, so I head over to it.

"Jeff! Hey, how are you?" I say when I finally see one of the guys. Jeff turns and greets me with his usual smile. "Hey (Y/N), I'm good thanks! A bit tired, but nothing I couldn't handle. How are you? I haven't seen you for ages!" he says and hugs me.

I tell him I'm going fine, not mentioning my concern about Eddie. We talk for a bit longer, but he eventually needs to leave for his soundcheck. The evening drags by and in the mean time I've spoken to Stone, Dave and Mike as well. Eddie is still nowhere to be seen. I grow more concerned about him every second and when I ask the other guys about Ed, they tell me he's backstage preparing for the show, not showing any sign of concern. I suppose it's just me being overdramatic.

The first time I steal a glance of Eddie is when he's on stage, but his usual wild behaviour isn't there with him. He still rocks the show, but something's missing. It's like he's not himself, as if something's bothering him.

"Mikey, have you seen Ed?" I ask Mike after the show. I got backstage just before the end of the show, to prevent being trapped inside a huge mosh pit of sweat and alcohol. Also because I really want to see Eddie and talk to him.

Mike shrugs and leaves me be. I look around for a bit but once again, Eddie's nowhere to be seen. When I ask the others, they don't know either.

Something is definitely wrong. Eddie is always so energetic after a show and he never disappears just like that.

I notice a hall with multiple doors at each side. Each door has a small plate next to it with a name written on it. I cross two rooms, the plates saying 'Stone Gossard' and 'Jeff Ament' and when I reach the third door I see my boyfriend's name written on the board.

I knock on the door, but I get no answer. "Ed, you in there?" I ask, but once again, no answer.

A few minutes later I realise the door is unlocked and I slowly move to open the door. "Ed?" I ask quietly, I get no response, but I do get a sign of life. I hear someone sniffing and sobbing quietly. When I reach the part of the room where the sound comes from I'm shocked to see Eddie crying. I've never seen him cry and it honestly breaks me to see him like this. Especially right now, he should be happy! He just got back from an amazing tour and did a great job at tonight's show.

I rush over to him and sit next to him on the sofa. He has his face in his hands and leans his elbows on his knees. I quickly put my arm around him and slowly rub my hand on his back. "Ed, baby, what's wrong? Why are you crying?!"

Eddie doesn't say anything, he just leans into me, his head on my chest. I put my arm completely around him. "Alright, babe, let it all out then. It's alright, it's alright to cry." I tell him soothingly. I know it's useless to tell someone to stop crying when they are, it's best to let it all out then.

"Yeah, let it all go Ed. I'm here for you. You can always come to me if there's something wrong." I whisper, not daring to talk louder.

I put my hand in his hair and start playing with it, softly running my hand through it. After a while Eddie's sobs die down and he slowly moves back up to sit straight next to me. When he's sat up straight, I move my hand up to his face to swipe away the tears left on his face.

"Hey baby," I say softly, with a small smile, when he finally meets my eyes.

It takes him some effort to smile, but he does it anyway. "Hey,"

I move forward and peck his lips, they taste all salty because of the tears. When I move back, I move my hand upwards to his hair and run my hand through it once again. "I've missed you." I tell him.

Another tear escapes his eyes, "I've missed you too, (Y/N), so much."

"But that's not why you were crying, was it?" I ask him, with an apologetic smile resting on my face.

He looks down and slowly shakes his head, "I just-" he starts, but doesn't come much farther.

I lift his face up with my finger on his chin, "You can tell me, you know that right?"

"I know, (Y/N). It's just that it was all too much for me. All the shows and all, I needed some rest and when I didn't get it, I just couldn't hold it in anymore. I'm glad to be back, I'm glad you're here with me."

His words make me weak in my stomach. I feel bad for him not handling the stress, which I completely understand, but I feel happiness when he tells me he's glad to be back home, 'cause that's what I am: I'm glad he's home. I'm glad he's back here with me.

"Oh Ed, I love you. Don't ever scare me again like that, alright? Not calling when you're supposed to.. I thought you didn't want to see me again!"

Finally, Eddie let's out a chuckle, "Why would you ever think that? I love you, (Y/N). You're the one that keeps me going. I'm sorry I didn't call. I was just so stressed and- I don't know I guess I kind of forgot, I'm so sorry." He adds the last part with a sad expression on his face.

I brush my thumb against his cheek, "Don't be, I understand completely. I've got so much respect for what you do Ed. I've got so much respect for you. I'm just happy you're alright. And for the record: it's ok to be not ok sometimes."

Eddie smiles up at me and kisses me softly. "I don't deserve you."

"Oh you do. You deserve way more than this, actually." I say, gesturing to myself.


	18. FwB - Eddie Vedder

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one shots contains smut

"How come you're just friends with him, (Y/N)? The two of you are always making such sexual jokes to each other and the flirting is pretty obvious as well."

I sigh. I've told her so many times before that Eddie is just my best friend. I admit, he's an attractive guy, but we've never done anything and it's just weird thinking about him as something other than my best friend. We grew up together, Ed and I. He was there for me when no one else was and the same goes for the other way around. Eddie is my soulmate, he knows everything about me. He used to hold me when I cried over guys, he used to hold my hair when I got wasted. He used to do anything for me, just to make me feel better. Once again, same goes for the other way around. I was there for him when his first real girlfriend left him broken. I was there for him when he broke his ankle because he tripped down the stairs after consuming just a bit too much alcohol. I was, and still am, always there for him.

"Why is it so hard to believe that Ed is just my best friend, Hannah? I've told you so many times: there's nothing more to it."

Hannah gives me a look which tells me she's certainly not convinced, but drops the subject nonetheless. Hannah stays with me for a while, until I need to leave. I made plans with Eddie to go out for dinner and I won't be late for it. Eddie and I are known for being late to everything, except if we plan to meet up, then we're never late.

I drop Hannah off on my way to Eddie's. I honk a couple of times. Eddie comes out of his house with a smile on his face, wearing his favourite flannel. He makes his way to me and gets insde the passenger seat. "Hey darling." he says before placing his lips against my cheek. I return the gesture, "Hey Ed." I say with a smile.

We reach the restaurant in no time and are taken to our seats by a very sweet young man. "Thank you." I tell him once we've reached the table. "No problem ma'am, have a great evening." the man says and adds a wink before leaving us alone.

I laugh to myself at his attempt of flirting, but Eddie is quiet about it. When I look up I notice some kind of angry expression on his face. "What's up, Ed?" I ask while putting my hands over his, which were lying on the table in front of him.

His head snaps up and he immediately brushes it off, "Oh, nothing. Let's order some drinks, yeah?" he smiles at me.

So, when the waiter arrives, we both order something to drink. Not long after, we order something to eat as well.

Throughout the evening there is one thought I can't get rid off. It has quite something to do with what Hannah said earlier today, about me and Ed. I actually started thinking of him as something more, how that might be, and now I can't stop thinking about it.

Ed and I both haven't been dating anyone for a long time and neither have we slept with anyone for a while. The thought of sleeping with Ed makes my face go red and I can't help myself when I start imagining things.

In Eddie's head, the same things are running through his mind, something caused by a comment from his good friend Chris Cornell. Chris couldn't help but say 'How come you've never shagged her, man? I know she's your best friend and all, but I don't understand how you can resist her..'

Behind my knowledge, the thought of shagging me keeps running through Eddie's mind and it causes him to get flustered. When I look up at him I notice he's already staring at me and I feel myself lurking for something more from him, a feeling I've never experienced before.

The air around us is so different from what it usually is and we both feel it, we just don't act upon it, nor do we say anything about it.

Two hours pass and we decide to head back to Eddie's place, to watch a film. The drive back to his place is filled with even more tension than in the restaurant. I look to my right to see Eddie looking at me again and I reach for his hand, which is placed on his knee, and I gently squeeze it. It's a very normal gesture for us, but tonight it seems different.

We get inside and take off our coats before heading further inside. "Want anything to drink?" Eddie asks while making his way into the kitchen. "I could use something strong." I state.

I turn on his telly and put in de DVD we are going to watch. When he gets back with the drinks, he puts them on the side table and takes his usual spot on the couch; completely in the right corner, so I can crawl up against him.

Not too far into the film sexual scene's start appearing and I can feel myself thinking about Eddie again. After a few sexual scenes I feel something poking in my back. First, I think it's just Eddie's belt, but later I realise he wasn't wearing one.

I slowly move forward and turn to face him properly. A faint blush is spread across his cheeks. "What I felt..." I start, not really knowing how to form a proper sentence without sounding like a fool. "Was that what I think it was?"

Eddie stares at me and after a second or two he nods, very embarrassed.

I think about what to do, about what to feel, about what to think.

I think about asking him if it's because of me, but then I realise it can also have been caused by the sexual scenes in the film. Though, as I recall clearly, we've never had this situation before and we've seen a lot more sexual scenes while being crawled up against each other.

"How come you've got a boner?" I ask bluntly, not really thinking about what I'm saying.

Eddie clears his throat, "I eh- I might have been imagining things.", he admits.

"What kind of things?"

"Eh- well, yeah- like, you and me? Together? Doing stuff..?"

His confession has me startled, but it also gives me the courage to move forward and press my lips against his. My hand resting insanely close to his manhood.

Eddie responds very quickly and kisses me back hungrily. "I've been thinking about this all night." he says in a husky voice when we break apart for a second. I smile against his lips, "So have I."

The kiss becomes more heated every second and when it reaches a certain limit, Eddie moves up and pins me down on the sofa, our lips never parting. My hands are roaming over his body and when I reach the hem of his shirt, I hesitantly look at him as to ask if it's alright. He nods and within a second his shirt is somewhere else in the room, laying on the ground. It takes him no time to remove my shirt as well and when I move my hands to his trousers he helps me get rid of them. I don't need to help him to get rid of mine, he's way too handy with it.

"God you're sexy." Eddie grunts when he sees me in just my underwear. I smile and look him hungrily in his eyes. Eyeing his toned torso up and down. "You're not so bad yourself, Vedder." I say and before I know it his lips are back on mine, his tongue desperately asking for permission to enter my mouth. I grant him passage without hesitation and our tongues collide together as if there's a war going on in our mouths.

Eddie presses his body down against mine and I can't help but let a moan escape at the feeling of his hard on against my core. Eddie let's out a grunt and immediately reaches for my bra to unclasp it, which he succeeds in doing on the first try.

Eddie breaks the kiss and moves his head down to my breasts. He starts licking my nipples fiercely and I feel myself becoming wet. I start running my hands through his hair, messing it completely up in the process. Eddie moves his hands down do my string and removes it without effort. He also removes his own boxers in the process, leaving us both completely naked.

He looks down at me with a hungry smirk on his face, "So wet and all for me."

"All for you." I whisper with my eyes closed as I feel his hands tracing my skin.

He moves up again and kisses me, this time not just hungrily and roughly, but passionately and filled with love. "Let me show you just how much you mean to me, (Y/N)." he whispers in my ear and I can feel the goosebumps all over my skin.

Eddie places sloppy, open-mouthed, kisses down my neck as he teases me with his cock brushing against my core. "Ready?" he asks gruffly. I nod and moan loudly when he enters me.

"Gosh you're so tight." Eddie grunts. He waits for a second for me to adjust to his big manhood inside me and when the time is right he slowly starts pushing himself in and out of me.

We're both a moaning and grunting mess. Eddie starts thrusting himself in and out of me harder every time he does so until he finds the perfect pace. I feel a pit forming in my stomach and I can't contain myself from moving myself a bit up for Eddie to get better access. "Yeah, that's it." he grunts in my ear.

I scream out his name when I cum. I feel myself tightening even more around him as I get off my high and Eddie comes with a growl that somehow contains my name.

We both ride off our highs and Eddie slowly pulls out of me, moving himself beside me on the couch. "That was, by far, the best sex I've ever had." I tell him while staring up at the cealing.

He chuckles, "I totally agree on that."

I turn my head to face him, "Maybe we could do this more often, then? As friends."

He smiles broadly at me, "Exactly what I was thinking."

"You know, Ed. You're my best friend ever."

"I know (Y/N). And you're mine." he says and places one last kiss on my lips before we drift off to a comforting nap, our bodies entangled in each other. Both dreaming of our previous actions.


	19. Overprotective - Eddie Vedder

"Hey man, get your hands off of her, she's my sister." Stone claims when Eddie's arm makes his way around my shoulders. Eddie and I both laugh about it and Stone eventually drops it, being too tipsy to care for more than two seconds.

That is a memory of the last time Eddie and I got close to each other with Stone around. Stone is, in everything, always so protective of me and I can't handle it anymore. I know he means well, 'cause he loves me, but he can't stop my from finally acting upon my feelings by going on dates with Eddie.

"Are you sure he won't get mad?" Eddie asks.

Tonight is our third date.. Eddie and I have always had some kind of chemistry, we just never acted upon our feelings, afraid Stone would go mad. We still haven't told him about us dating, we decided it's a better idea to tell him when things get more serious.

"I don't know, Ed. I just hope he doesn't. But if he does, it won't make me stop dating you, 'cause I like you and Stone can't stop that."

A smile grows on his face and we continue eating our dinner. The evening goes smooth and every second that passes, Eddie gives me another reason to like him. Everything he does affects me and I can't stop smiling at him, he's just such a nice guy and I wouldn't want anyone else to be sitting across from me tonight.

The next weeks go by and Eddie and I keep meeting up without any of the others knowing. At this moment, things are far more serious than before and we've come to the conclusion to tell Stone. Not are Eddie and I just dating now, we actually became a thing. He's called me his girlfriendand I've called him my boyfriendand nothing sounded more right than calling him mine.

"Hey there you are, Kiddo. How've you been?" Stone says when he opens the door, he's not even surprised by the fact that Eddie's with me. We're all used to hanging out together, so it's not weird that Eddie's here as well. He just doesn't know it's not about hanging out today.

I smile at Stone and slap him playfully, "Stop calling me 'kiddo', Stone. We're the same age, remember? But I'm fine, thanks. How about you?"

He tells me he's doing fine, work's just been hectic lately.

As we reach his living room, Eddie and I take a seat, next to each other, on his couch while Stone gets us something to drink. When he gets back and his gaze meets us, he gives us a confused look; we're sitting a lot closer to each other than we normally do.

Stone puts down the drinks on the side table and takes a seat in the arm chair across from the sofa. "Something wrong, Ed? You haven't said a word yet.." Stone states while eyeing Eddie suspiciously.

Eddie shakes his head. I can sense he's very nervous. "Nope, I'm completely fine. Thanks for the drink."

Eddie grabs our drinks from the table and hands mine to me. "Is something going on, guys? You're both acting weird.." Stone says and Eddie share a look.

I manage to form some confidence and speak up, "We need to tell you something, Steno.."

I look at Stone and he gestures for me to go on. "Eddie and I, well- ehm, we've been dating for a couple of weeks now. I really like him and he really likes me, so I hope you'll approve of us. If you don't, I don't wish to make things uncomfortable between you and I definitely don't want to ruin things for the band. I just want you to know that we're both very serious about this." Throughout my confession Eddie's hand grabbed mine, intertwining our fingers.

I see Stone processing the words with a confused expression on his face, but he says nothing for a while.

"Please man, say something." Eddie almost begs him, scared of the outcome.

Stone straights himself in his chair and clears his throat before speaking up. "I must say, I never expected the two of you to actually become something and I must admit I'm gonna have to get used to the idea, but I'm not mad. Why would I be? My best friend and my sister are dating, so what? It's your lives, guys. I If you're happy, then I'm happy."

I jump up and rush over to Stone, not believing his words. I never expected him to be so relaxed about it. "Woah, woah. No need to kill me." Stone chuckles and I quickly let go of him, looking him in his eyes with happy tears in my eyes.

"I'm sorry. I just can't believe you are so chill about it. It means so much to me, to us, so thanks." I say and hug him once again, this time going a bit easier on him. Behind me I hear Eddie laughing, but I know he's just as happy as I am that Stone reacted the way he did.

"But, Eddie," Stone starts, way too serious for my liking, when I get back in my seat, "if you ever hurt her or if you ever do anything to make her sad or whatever it is, I will kill you, got that?"

Eddie's facial expression turns from happy to genuinely scared, but softens when he processes the words and smiles at Stone, causing him to look confused. "Don't worry Stone, I'll never hurt her, she means too much to me. And thanks, really, for being happy for us. I love you, man."

A smile slowly creeps onto Stone's face, "I love you too, man. Now, get out and enjoy your time together, I've got work to get to."


	20. Why? - Eddie Vedder

It had been a while since I hurt myself, but after hearing about my father's death, I couldn't help it. I started harming myself again and I haven't stopped doing it ever since. Feeling like I need to punish myself for not being there for my father when he needed me the most.

My father always said he really wanted to visit me, but it never happened. He got sick and a couple of months later he died. I never thought it was so serious, so I never really saved money to go visit him and I blame myself for not fulfilling his wish of seeing me one last time.

I've never told my boyfriend, Eddie, about my self-harm. It's just something he doesn't need to know about. He has things he keeps to himself, so have I, my self-harm being one of them.

I love Eddie with all my heart and I wouldn't know what to do without him, but there are things I like to keep to myself. I think everyone has something personal you don't even share with your closest friend, right?

"Hey, love." Eddie says while walking up to me. I turn and smile at him, hiding the immense pain shooting through my arm when he reaches for me to hug him. "Hey Ed, how was practice?"

He moves back, "It went pretty good, actually. We came up with some new tunes, so that's something." he says with a smile.

I smile back at him, "I'm happy for you and the guys."

Eddie walks back into the hall and grabs his stuff, "I'm gonna bring this upstairs and take a shower."

"Alright, love. I'll make dinner, it won't be long before it's done, so make it quick." I tell him while he's already making his way upstairs and in response I get a 'sure thing, captain!'

I smile to myself at his goofiness, where did I manage to find someone like him? What did I ever do to deserve his love? I quickly push that last thought aside before I start to feel unsure of myself again.

"Eddie, dinner's ready!" I yell, standing at the foot of the stairs. I hear a faint 'I'm coming' and I walk back into the kitchen to put the food on the plates. I place the plates on the table in our dining room and not much later Eddie enters the room, wearing some sweatpants and a 'The Who' shirt. I smile to myself at the sight of him, but when my gaze meets mine my smile drops; he looks confused and... angry? Why would he be angry?

"What's wrong?" I ask him and I feel my heart sinking deeply when I see what he's holding in his hand.

He slowly looks up at me, "Could you please tell me why, on earth, there was a bloodied razorblade in the sink?" he says, his voice trembling and very cold.

I feel myself lost for words so I simply give him an apologetic look. "Show me your arms, please." he says while stepping closer to me.

Shaking my head, I say 'no'. But Eddie ignores it and firmly, yet carefully, grabs ahold of my wrist. I try to remove myself from his grip, but he's too strong. He moves his other hand to my sleeve and moves it up, only to reveal a row of fresh cuts on my arm.

Eddie drops the razorblade, which he was still holding carefully, in shock and snaps his head up, "Why, (Y/N)? Why would you do this to yourself?"

Now that Eddie's distracted I yank my hand from his grip and move back to the dining table. "Just sit down, Ed. The food's getting cold." I say in a small voice.

"No!" Eddie almost screams, "Tell me! Why are you hurting yourself?" I can hear the desperate tone in his voice, but decide to ignore it and simply take a seat.

"I don't know about you, but I'm gonna start eating." I say, trying to act as if nothing just happened.

Eddie scoffs and takes the seat across from me, "Are you gonna tell me about it after dinner, then?" he asks, not only sounding desperate, but actually angry.

His voice is the drop. I break into tears, "Why would I tell you?" I yell at him. "You do nothing but acting angry towards me, this is the exact reason why I didn't tell you!"

Eddie's expression goes from angry to baffled. He is about to speak up, but I'm not done talking, yet. "You always act like everything's alright, but things aren't always alright, Eddie! Life is not always perfect. Like sucks sometimes!" I yell, now completely drowning in my own tears.

"You know very well that I know life isn't always perfect." Eddie says through gritted teeth. "I just don't understand why you would hurt yourself! Does it make you feel any better?!" Eddie's screaming as well, now.

I say nothing, 'cause honestly: it never really made me feel better. It was always the idea that hurting myself would be a good punishment, but after doing it, I never seem to feel better. The next day, I feel the exact same and I want to do it all over again.

"That's what I thought." Eddie says, his voice back to a normal volume.

I'm still crying, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that.." I sniffle, indeed knowing fully well that Eddie's hasn't had the easiest and happiest life either.

He looks up, still a bit angry, but his face drops when he sees how tearstained my face is, "I know. I'm sorry, too. I shouldn't have yelled at you." He stands up and walks over to me, taking me out of my seat and hugging my tight. "I love you, (Y/N). I just don't want you to be hurt and I can't handle knowing you're cutting yourself open when I'm not here."

I sob into his shirt, "I'm sorry." I whisper, "I just, I feel like shit lately.."

"Then please, just talk to me about it, maybe it'll help. But please stop hurting yourself." he begs and I nod into him, "I will try." I say as I move my head back and up to face him. "It's just- my dad.. he keeps running through my mind.."

Eddie moves his hand to my cheek and wipes away the tears, "I understand, but it wasn't your fault, (Y/N). You couldn't have known about his passing so quickly. It was a shock for everyone. I know your father wouldn't want you to hurt yourself, I'm positive about it. So please stop doing it and come to me if there's something on your mind."

I should've known Eddie was so supportive, I just never really gave it any thought. I should've known he's here for me when I need him, he's always been there for me. "I love you, Ed, so fucking much. I'm sorry for not saying anything."

"Don't be. Just don't hurt yourself anymore, alright?" he says, softly cupping my face.

"I won't."

"I love you so much, (Y/N). You're my whole world."

"And you're mine."


	21. Hatred - Eddie Vedder

"Soooo, you've finally found a singer?" I ask Jeff when we're walking outside. We don't really have a destination to go to, we're just walking around bit, enjoying the fresh air.

Jeff smiles, "Jup, and his voice is really amazing. He's coming over from San Diego in a few days. I can't wait to meet him."

I throw my arm around his waist and rest my head on his shoulder, "I'm so happy for you and the guys, Jeff. You really deserve the best, after all you've been through."

I feel Jeff wrapping his arms around me in a hug and he lifts me off the ground, "Oh my god! Jeffrey Allen Ament, put me down right now!" I scream and struggle to get out of his arms. He just laughs and gently puts me down after a couple of minutes, "You're adorable (Y/N)."

I scoff, "I keep wondering why I'm friends with you, Jeffrey."

"Because you like me too much, dear. And stop calling me Jeffrey, you know I hate it when people call me that."

I send him a smirk, "That's exactly the reason why I'm not gonna stop calling you Jeffrey, Jeffrey." I say and wink at him.

He groans in defeat and throws his right arm around my shoulder. "Just don't call me that in front of the others, will you? It's already annoying enough you're calling me Jeffrey right now."

I laugh and take his right hand, the one that's hanging next to my ear, in my hand and intertwine our fingers, "I guess it's the least I can do."

Days go by and soon I receive a call from Stone. "Hey Steno! How's life?"

"Hey, love! It's very, very, very kind to me and the boys these past days. We've got ourselves a singer and he actually wants to become a member of the band!"

I smile at how happy Stone sounds. It's been such a rollercoaster ride for them and it's a real blessing for them to have finally found a singer. "I'm so happy for you, Stone! Really, I can't wait for the day you guys go worldwide, I know that day will come! Just don't forget me, will ya?"

Stone laughs through the telephone, "We won't ever forget you, (Y/N)! Just don't forget us, either, then we're even. Oh, by the way, Mike is coming to get you right now. You're going out for dinner with us. Unfortunately you won't be able to meet Eddie, he had to go back to San Diego.."

"Eddie? I assume he's the new singer?"

Stone tells me he is and right when we hang up, someone's knocking on my door. I put down the phone and walk to the door. When I open it I'm met with Mike, as Stone said. "Hey Mikey, it's good to see you."

"Hey (Y/N), likewise, now come on, I'm starving. I need food!" he says in a whiney voice. I laugh, "Let me get my bag, then we can go."

Not much later after that Mike and I make our way into a small diner. Jeff, Dave and Stone notice us and gesture for us to come sit with them, quite a useless move, it's not like Mike and I were planning to sit somewhere alone..

"Congrats guys! I'm so happy for you, I know I keep saying it, but it's just because I genuinely am!" I say while greeting all of them with a hug. "So, I just decided, that as a present I'll pay tonight, to show you how proud I am of you."

Four heads snap up and I'm met with confused faces, "Like hell you are, we're not gonna steal you from your money, (Y/N)."

I can't hold my laughter at Jeff's comment together with his seriousness, "There's no stopping me, Jeff. Don't worry, I can afford to treat my best friends for once. I'd be happy to do it, just let me, alight?"

Jeff realised there was no way he could stop me, so he dropped the subject and soon after we ordered some food and drinks.

The night went on and things were great. It's always so much fun with the guys, they're all just so nice and I can't imagine life without them.

The hours flew by and before I even know what I'm doing, I'm already paying the bill. Only shortly after Jeff had tried to get Stone to keep me still so I couldn't reach the cashier; they always underestimate my strength.

"Thanks again, dopey." Mike said while we all made our way outside. It's his thing to call me 'dopey', I don't mind, I think it's kind of cute.

The rest of the evening is spent with some booze and music in my garage. I, myself, am also part of a band, so there's instruments all over the place in the garage, since we always rehearse here.

When the clock hits two in the morning, the guys decide to call it a night and all head home. I'm not really tired yet, so I stay in the garage to play some more guitar and maybe write a song, you never know when the inspiration hits you.

Days pass and in the blink of an eye it's time for me to meet the infamous Eddie Vedder. I'm curious to know what he's like and I can't wait, honestly. If he's really as cool and chill as the guys described him, there must be no problem for us to become friends.

"There you are! The guy's can't wait for you to meet him, they're just backstage now. They'll be here in a minute." Kiara exclaims when I make my way into the club. It's a small club where Soundgarden, our friends' band, just performed. That's why the guys are backstage, to talk to Chris, Kim, Matt and Ben.

Kiara and I take a seat at the bar and as we take our seats I can't help but look around a bit, to see if there are some familiar faces. I can't spot many people, though. Just some faces I've seen here and there, but no one too familiar.

"What a loser." I mumble under my breath while looking at a guy who's just come from backstage. Kiara turns her face to me, "What, who?"

I nod in his direction, "Him. Who is he anyway?"

"Oh god, (Y/N). That's Eddie, as in the new singer of the guys. Do you know him already?" Kiara asks with a hand covering her mouth.

My eyes go slightly wide, "Eh no, I've never seen him.. He just has this air around him that annoys me. Don't you see it?"

Before Kiara can answer, my name is called by the one and only Stone Carpenter Gossard and I'm dragged by the said person backstage. "Y/N), this is Eddie. Eddie, this is (Y/N)." Stone says while dragging me and Eddie across from each other.

I notice Eddie must feel the same about me, 'cause he doesn't seem too happy to see me. "Oh, well.. hello." he says

"Welcome to Seattle. Hope you're gonna have fun." I reply dryly.

Months have passed and Eddie and I got worse every time we met. The hatred built up between us isn't even humane anymore. I can't stand a word he says, same goes for the other way around. It's madly annoying that exactly the one person I hate with my everything has to be one of the closest friend of my best friends. It's utterly frustrating.

In the mean time the guys have also changed the band's name from 'Mookie Blaylock' to 'Pearl Jam'. It fits them good, the name.

I'm just hanging around ad chilling in my apartment when there's a knock on my door. "Come in, it's open!" I yell from the couch and within a second Stone is standing behind me. "Hey there." I say, looking up from the tv to meet his face, which is very happy. He's not usually this happy.

"Wassup?" I ask him as he takes a seat next to me.

He turns to face me and as I sit straight, he takes ahold of my hands "I've got a surprise for you." Is the first thing he says since he's come in.

"Soooo, tell me.." I tell him after he's silent for a couple of minutes, waiting for me to give some sort of reply.

He nods, "I've booked Pearl Jam another gig and they said we could also get a supporting act, so I asked if I could choose who that was gonna be and they said yes and I've kinda booked Purps a gig as our supporting act....?" he says, all way too fast and without any punctuation, with puppy eyes on his face and with a hint of insecurity.

I process everything he's said and when it finally gets to me, I jump off the couch and start screaming in happiness. "YOU'VE BOOKED PURPS A GIG?!"

Stone starts laughing and gets up as well. He takes my hands in his and looks me straight in the eye, "So, you're in?" he asks questioningly and hopeful.

"If it were up to me I'd say yes right away. I can't believe you're doing this for me. For us! But of course, I need to ask the others first." I say as I give him a hug, tighter than ever.

"Yeah, 'course. Just let me know as soon as possible. Otherwise I'm gonna have to find another band.."

Stone stays for a while longer, just chilling at my place. In the meantime I've called my bandmates (Elisha, Darren, Damien and Kim) and they all sounded very happy and excited about the news. We have never played live-show before, this is because all five of us are kind of scared to go on stage and we just like keeping it low-key in my garage, sometimes performing for some friends, but that's it.

The day of the show soon arrived and Purps was completely ready for it, all the nervousness replaced by excitement. We all knew we were just an opening act for Pearl Jam, but it was a big thing for us.

As soon as we got on stage, we started playing like our lives depended on it, maybe it did. Maybe this was the beginning of a big something.

After the first three songs it was time for me to introduce ourselves.

"Helloouh everyone! We are Purps and tonight we're opening for our good friends Pearl Jam!" the crowd went wild when I mentioned them. I am so proud of them, having so many people that support them already, it's amazing to see. "Enjoy your night and thanks for having us!" I say before we start our next song. I notice the guys backstage and every once in a while one of them gives us a thumbs up, except for Eddie, obviously.. Because of the fact that he can't stand me, he's also built up hatred towards my band, which I think is idiotic, 'cause even if I hate Eddie, I still think he makes good music. It seems he doesn't think that way about us.

About 45 minutes later it's time for us to leave the stage, but not after receiving a huge applause from the crowd. I never imagined playing a show would feel so good, especially if you're being appreciated by the people you're playing for.

"You were great guys! Congrats on your first show ever." Mike states while giving us a big sweaty group hug. The rest of the guys congratulate us as well, but once again, except for Eddie. I decide to leave him be, not being in the mood to spend energy on him. It's been such a blast tonight and I won't let him ruin that.

"Good luck, guys. You'll do great!" I tell the guys before they head on stage. I notice Eddie looks at me and I can't place his expression. I want to say something, but first of all I don't know what and second of all I can't, 'cause before I can say something, Eddie's gone on stage.

My bandmates and I decide to head into the crowd to have a better view of Pearl Jam. They were already playing there fourth song when we reached the crowd and most of the people were singing along with the words. It was a great view.

They played their show and when they were done I clapped harder than I'd ever done before. Heading back backstage I ran up to them and gave them a big hug, "I'm so proud of you all! You don't even know." I say loudly and squeeze them tighter. That is until I'm being pushed back by a certain someone.

"Get off me, (L/N)." Eddie mutters.

I stumble over Dave's feet and prepare myself for a fall, but I'm being held up by strong arms. "Thanks Jeff." I say as I look up to him.

"What is wrong with you? I just congratulated you, asshole." I snap at Eddie, who's just looking pissed off at me.

He starts walking away and drops the subject, but I'm not done yet. "Ugh, I feel like punching him in the face so hard right now." I sigh frustrated by anger, just loud enough to hear him. Jeff is the only one who stayed with me, the others have already left to get some drinks.

Eddie suddenly comes to a halt and his head turns in my direction, "Why don't you just do it then?" he says coldly.

I look him directly in the eyes and at this moment Jeff realises it's time for him to leave, knowing moments like this could get heated between me and Eddie. It isn't the first time something like this happens.

"Because," I say as I slowly start walking in his direction, "you're not worth my and especially not my punch. You should be honoured if I punched you."

Eddie scoffs and walks closer to me, we're now just inches apart from each other, our noses almost touching. "You're so full of yourself, aren't you?" he says through gritted teeth.

"Says the one who has never even congratulated my band, because of his hatred towards the singer. How am I full of myself when I always say how proud I am of Pearl Jam and how much I think you deserve it? Huh? Tell me, Vedder. Enlighten me about the situation, 'cause I'd love to-"

I'm cut off by his lips being pressed against mine. At first I desperately want to push him away, but it's only then that I realise how good this feels, as if it's meant to be. His tongue slides across my lower lip, asking for entrance, and I gladly open my mouth. Our tongues meet roughly. I've never kissed anyone with so much passion.

When we break apart, we're both very much in the need of air, resting our foreheads against each other, we regain our breathing. My hands are resting on his chest and his are around my waist.

"I hate you. I hate you so fucking much." I mumble while still trying to regain my breath.

He chuckles, "I know you do, I feel the same."

We both start laughing a bit, something that's never happened before and it catches us both off guard. "This is weird." I tell him while were looking each other deeply in the eyes.

He nods and puts his hand on my face, rubbing his thumb against me cheek slightly, "I know, but it feels so good, doesn't it?"

"God it does!" I say and I completely melt into his touch. "I could get used to this, it feels a lot better than hating you, actually." I confess

"you better get used to is, I'm not planning on leaving this behind any time soon." he smirks and gives me another kiss.


	22. I'm here - Eddie Vedder

It takes me about an hour before I am finally ready to go, ready to go out with my boyfriend, my best friend and her boyfriend. We always go on a double date on Friday and it's become a tradition.

Today I've been feeling rather off, not being in the mood to talk to anyone, really. At first I was really worried about it, I'm always very happy and I'm never sad, but later I realised that everyone has a day off every once in a while, haven't they? Work was awful because of how I felt and I was happy when it finally ended.

"I'm coming!" I yell out of my window after Jeff honks a couple of times.

As soon as I reach Jeff's car, I get inside and sit in the backseat next to Kate, my best friend. "Hey guys." I tell the boys and they both send me a smile. It doesn't take us long to reach the club, only about ten minutes.

We all step outside of the car after it's parked and I immediately walk over to Eddie, who I didn't have the change to greet properly yet. "Hey handsome." I smile up at him as he returns the smile. "Hey gorgeous." he says before placing his lips on mine. It's an innocent kiss, but even though it's innocent, it still makes me feel a little better than I did before. When we part I rest my head against his shoulder and we make our way inside the club, following Jeff and Kate to a booth in the bar-area.

Eddie sits down next to me. He puts his arm around my shoulder and I immediately sink into him, happy I'm finally with him again after a rough day at work. "You alright?" he whispers in my ear, probably noticing I'm not smiling as much as usual. "Just had a rough day, that's all." I mumble into his neck and he pulls me even closer to him, as if he wants to protect me. My heart flutters at the gesture and it makes me melt into him even more.

"What do you guys want to drink?" Jeff asks while standing up. Eddie looks down at me and I nod, he immediately knows what I mean, "The usual." he tells Jeff and Jeff takes off to the bar.

The evening goes on and everyone's having a great time, though I still feel a bit off. It's just small things that get me annoyed and easily in a bad mood, especially when Eddie suddenly sits up straight and waves at some girl entering the club. I feel my heart clench and I feel some kind of jealousy. I'm never one to get jealous of such things, especially if he just waves at someone, but today it's different. I immediately am done for the night and the things I want to do most is run out of the club and crawl into my bed to cry my eyes out. But I cant; Eddie is sitting right from me, blocking my way out of the booth.

"Hey, I'm gonna go see how Jenny's doing, alright?" he says before getting up; well, now my problem's solved..!

Jeff notices how my face drops when Eddie leaves and eyes my curiously, "Something up, (Y/N)?" he asks and for some reason, that's the drop. I tell them I'm sorry and start gathering my things before running towards the exit to go home.

I can hear both Jeff and Kate calling after me, but I decide to ignore them, really not wanting to be around people any longer. I reach my apartment in no-time and step into the shower as soon as I'm able.

I shower for god knows how long and when I'm done I hear someone knocking on my door. Once again, I decide to ignore it, but the person keeps on knocking. "I know you're in there, (Y/N). Please open the door." Eddie's voice comes from behind the door.

I sigh and put on some sweatpants and one of Eddie's old shirts. I slowly move to the door and open it while looking at the ground. I know my face is completely red and my eyes are puffy. I know Eddie's eyeing me, but I avoid to meet his gaze and walk back into the living room without saying a word.

"What's wrong? Jeff and Kate told me you left the club instantly after I went to say hi to Jenny.." he says and when he mentions Jenny's name I feel a pang in my heart once again.

I just shake my head and try to ignore the thoughts running through my mind, but I can't help but feel some kind of numb and tears start running down my face again. I silently sob, but Eddie notices and quickly makes his way over to me, we're now sitting on the couch.

"Love, what's wrong? You've been acting a bit off all night.. Something bothering you?" he asks with a lot of concern and I instantly feel my love for him increase.

I slowly turn to face him and look up to meet his eyes, "I don't know what's going on today..." I confess, but a confused expression enters his face. "What do you mean? Something happened?"

I shake my head, "No, I've just- ever since I woke up I've been feeling weird and incredibly off and I don't know but when you waved at Jenny the way you did I couldn't help but feel insanely jealous and I know I shouldn't be, but I just couldn't help myself.." I ramble, moving my gaze to the ground.

Eddie chuckles a bit and brings his hand to rest on the side of my face, "Darling," he starts, moving my face to look at him once again. "there is, indeed, no need for you to be jealous, I choose you. And I'll choose you, over and over and over. Without a pause, without a doubt, and in a heartbeat. I'll keep choosing you. I love you, so much, (Y/N)."

My heart flutters at his words and I feel tears escaping my eyes again, only this time they're happy tears. I move forward and hug Eddie tightly, "You're too good for me, Eddie. I love you so much."

"There's no way I'm too good for you. And it's normal to have a day off every once in a while; it's humane." he tells me, "And you know what, let's just put on a good old DVD and do nothing for a while?" he offers.

I smile at him and nod, "That sounds great, really."


	23. Cosy - Eddie Vedder

"You'll stay too, right?" Diane asks me through the phone.

Today is her birthday and to celebrate it she's gonna throw a party for her friends and some family members.

"Of course, Di. I'll be there 'round 7 to help you prepare the last things. Anyways, who else are gonna stay the night?"

She tells me a couple of others from college and her cousin, 'cause he needs to be in town tomorrow anyways. I've never met him though, she just told me why he was staying as well.

I leave my house and go to a very cute store just outside of town. I always go there to buy presents for friends and family.

"Who is the lucky one this time, (Y/N)?" Bernie asks as I enter. We've sort of become friends. Bernie is just the sweetest man alive. He's old, but he's never grumpy. He's a typical British old man who owns the cutest store of all.

I laugh, "My best friend, Diane. She's been here a couple of times with me before."

"Ah yes, I know who she is. Well, make sure to buy the perfect thing for her and wish her a happy birthday from me." he says and smiles. I tell Bernie I will and go further into the shop.

There are so many things to buy that are perfect for Diane, but there's one thing that stands out: a record. Diane's love for music is beyond this universe, especially her love for Johnny Cash.

I'm currently holding a record, in which a silhouette of Johnny Cash holding his guitar case is carved (or something like that). It's not a record you can play for the music, it's just something to hang up on a wall.

"I've never seen a better present for Diane in my life, thank you Bernie." I say while placing the record on the counter to pay.

He smiles warmly at me. Bernie always makes me so happy and he's not even trying to do it. It's just that he's always so happy and it just makes me happy to see how happy he is.

"Let me know what Diane thinks of it whenever you're around. Have a great day, (Y/N)." he says in his amazing British accent.

"I will, Bernie. Thanks again." I smile at him and leave his shop.

When I'm home I wrap the record in a nice paper and afterwards I dive into my wardrobe to look for clothes. It's already 5:45pm, so I figure that by the time I'll be ready I have to leave and go to Diane's place.

Diane's parties are never very formal, it's just a party with friends we've known for a long time and usually most of them take one or two friends with them, there'll also be a couple of family members every now and then. In the end the house will be pretty packed.

I'm not too much in the mood to get all dressed up, so I decide to just wear some black skinny jeans, an old 'Split Enz' shirt my brother once gave me as a present from New Zealand and my old dr Martens.

Diane always tells me I should throw them away, but I'm just too attached to them. They're my favourite belongings, I won't just throw them away 'cause they don't look brand new anymore. Why would I?

As I had figured, it is indeed time to go by the time I'm completely ready.

I grab my keys and put my phone in the back pocket of my jeans and get into my car.

"IT'S OPEN!" Diane screams from inside after I knocked on her door. I chuckle to myself and make my way inside.

"Happy birthday, girlie." I say and give Diane a hug after putting down my stuff and taking off my jacket.

She playfully slaps me, "You know I hate to be called 'girlie', but I'll let it slip 'cause it's you. And thanks."

The time flies and just as we put the last bowl with crisps on the table the doorbell rings and from now on people start entering the house.

At 9:30pm is everyone either inside or outside in the backyard. There's some music playing inside and there are some people swaying to the music. A lot of girls brought their boyfriends and Di and I can't stop our jealousy. We laugh about it, but we both know we're desperate for some attention. We're also just too lazy to take action.

We've both dated some guys, but it was never too serious. Just a short period of being interested in someone and going on some dates and that was it really.

I leave the packed house and go into the backyard. There aren't many people outside, 'cause it's not too warm anymore.

There's one guy I haven't seen around before and he's standing alone by the waterside. I walk up to him with two beers in my hand.

"Can I offer you a beer?" I ask while holding up the beer when I'm standing beside him.

The guy looks up and smiles at me, "I'd love one, thanks." he says and takes one beer from my hand.

"Aren't you here with anyone? I haven't seen you here before.." I say before taking a sip of my beer.

"That's right, I usually don't have time to go to Diane's parties, but tonight I had enough time to come and I need to be in town tomorrow anyways."

"You're Diane's cousin?" I ask, remembering what Diane told me.

He smiles, "I am. The name's Eddie." he offers me his hand, which I gracefully take to shake it.

"I'm (Y/N)."

"Ah, the best friend."

"Guilty."

We both laugh.

After a while of talking to Eddie we decide it's time to go inside again. A lot of people have already left, only the ones who're gonna stay over are still inside.

They all decide to play some drinking games, but I decline, not being in the mood for a hangover. Besides that, I've already had enough beer.

"Not gonna play with them?" a voice behind me speaks up. I've moved to the other side of the room and took a seat on the couch in front of the tv, currently listening to some old songs on MTV.

I turn my head and see Eddie walking up to me, "Not really feeling like getting really drunk.." I explain and Eddie laughs.

He walks up to me and stands next to me, "May I?" he asks, gesturing to the spot next to me. I nod and he slowly sits down.

"And why aren't you with them?" I ask, my eyes fixed on the screen, which is currently streaming a live performance of 'Stuff and Nonsense' by Split Enz.

"Not in the mood, either." he answers, but I'm not really listening. This song is too beautiful to not pay attention to.

Eddie chuckles lightly and I turn my head with a puzzled look, "What?"

"You really like Split Enz, don't you?"

I smile and laugh nervously, "Yeah, my favourite band actually."

Eddie scoots a bit closer and points to my shirt, "I figured."

We both laugh a bit, but it grows silent, too soon for my liking. "So," I speak up, breakig Eddie's stare on me. "how come your girlfriend isn't here?" I ask.

A confused expression enters Eddie's face and I can't help but feel bad, maybe it was a personal subject.. "Sorry." I mumble, my gaze meeting the ground.

Eddie chuckles and puts his hand on my shoulder, "No, don't worry. I'm just confused to why you would think I've got a girlfriend.. 'cause I don't.. I mean, that's why I didn't take her; she doesn't exist."

I look up to meet his eyes again and feel myself going red, "Oh- ehm, sorry. I figured you had one.." I tell him nervously. I don't know why, but the closeness of our bodies suddenly makes me very aware of the fact that he's is very handsome. I hadn't had the chance to eye him as carefully as I am right now, that's why I didn't notice his handsome face before.

"I'm single." he states once again, laughing at my nervousness. "What about you?"

"Oh, no." I chuckle awkwardly, "No boyfriend for me."

Eddie gives me a pained expression, "How come?"

I look up and meet his eyes. God I get lost in them way too easily, those dreamy, ocean blue eyes of his. "I just never seem to meet the right one... I've dated some guys before, but nothing that lasted much longer than a couple of months.."

"That sounds an awful lot like Diane's love-life." Eddie states and I laugh a genuine laugh. "We're both hopeless cases.." I tell him and he laughs with me.

When our laughter dies down, Eddie looks at me and eyes me for a while in silence. "You're not a hopeless case." he says softly, brings his hand from my shoulder up to my face and starts caressing my cheek lightly.

I feel myself turning into a tomato and look away quickly. "I think I am quite hopeless, actually." I whisper.

Eddie moves his hand from my cheek to my chin and moves my chin up so I face him. When I meet his gaze, I notice he isn't looking in my eyes at first, but down to my lips. "I don't think so." he whispers back before gently placing his lips against mine.

The kiss is something I've never experienced; it's not full of lust, nor is it rough. It's very delicate and I notice Eddie is a bit hesitant. I grab him softly by the collar of his flannel and pull him closer, letting him know that it's alright.

We stay like that, kissing each other sweetly, for a while, until both of your lungs yearn for air. We break apart, but stay close to each other, resting our heads against each other. "That- that was something.." I say quietly, still a bit out of air.

Eddie chuckles, "It was." He moves back to meet my eyes again. "Maybe you'd like to join me for lunch tomorrow? I only need to do something for work in the morning.."

I smile brightly at him and give him a peck on his lips before completely melting into him. We're both getting comfortable on the couch so we can watch some tv before bed.

I am completely pressed against Eddie, my head on his chest and his arm around my body, when Diane decides to walk in on us cuddling like that. I never thought about the fact that Eddie was her cousin and that she may not be okay with this.

When I see her I immediately move away from Eddie and he gives me a worried look, probably thinking the same as I am. "Di?" I ask in a worried voice.

She doesn't reply at first, she just smile brightly at us and gestures at the two of us. "Look at you two getting all cosy together. Come on, don't act like nothing's going on, it's alright. I actually should've thought of it sooner. Now that I think of it, you two would make a great couple." and with that she's gone again.

I look from the spot where Diane was just standing slowly to Eddie, who is wearing a big, goofy grin on his face "Well, come back here, then."

I don't need to be told twice, within seconds I'm back in his embrace and we're both cuddled up together as if our lives depend on it, and maybe it does. Maybe my love-life does depend on him.


	24. Massage - Eddie Vedder

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one shot contains smut

"(Y/N), I know I told you you would get a day off tomorrow, but I need you here. Someone just booked for a massage.." my boss (and good friend), Angie, tells me and I sigh defeated, I've been looking forward for a day off for a long time and every time it gets closer Angie tells me I can't have my day of freedom.

Angie notices my disappointment and comes closer, "Don't worry hun, I'm sure you'll like tomorrow's appointment." she tells me with a wink. I give her a confused look, "Why is that?"

"Because the guy is hella handsome." she smirks and I let out a howl of laughter. Angie is always paying attention to guys and their looks. I've made the deal with myself to ignore every guy that enters this room. That is, because I know I'll be seeing handsome guys shirtless and mostly naked, but I can't advantage of that. At first I found it hard, because I was someone to be easily flustered and all that, but through the years I've come to the realisation that if I just try and ignore the handsome ones, because it won't become anything anyway, I can get through the day without any problems.

"You should go now, though. I've already taken too much of your spare time and I'll do it again tomorrow.. Go enjoy the sun outside for a bit and relax. See you tomorrow." Angie tells me as she pushes me towards the door. I smile gracefully, "Thanks Angie."

As soon as I reach my room I change into some swimwear and grab a towel. When I reach the poolside it's not that crowded anymore, at this time of the afternoon people usually go out to enjoy the cities nearby. For me, it's always a great time to relax and get some tan.

After fifteen minutes of silence, a group of men walk up to the pool and dive in it without any pardon. First, I sigh in annoyance, but when I see the happiness on their faces I can't seem to hide my smile. It's been forever since I went out with my friends, I don't even know if I can still call them my friends.. I haven't seen them for years, the only one I dare to call my friend right now is Angie, and she's also my boss...

One of the guys meets my gaze, I send him a smile and turn my attention back to the book I was reading earlier. I hear them muttering something and I can feel their eyes on me, but I decide to ignore them and just continue reading my book.

When my phone suddenly starts ringing I jump up from my chair and my book flies into the air. I notice it's going to fall into the pool of I don't do anything about it, but when I see the Caller's ID on my phone I decide the phone call is also pretty important. It's my mum, she told me she'd call me if she knew more about my brother's condition. My brother, Noah, is sick and has been for years. He's nearing his end and my mum promised to keep me updated since I'm not able to see Noah very frequently.

In a split second I decide I could just buy a new book and reach for my phone. "Mum, hi!" I say softly, with a hint of desperation for good news. The thing is, I know the news won't be any good, the last couple of weeks Noah has just been getting worse and worse as well as the phone calls.

"Hey darling," my mum says through the phone. Even though I can't see her, I already know she's not happy. The tone of her voice gives it away.

"Any happy news?" I ask sadly as I slowly get up from my lounge seat and walk over to a more secluded spot.

About half an hour later I walk back to my things with a slightly tear-stained face. It seems that the doctors told Noah he's only got about two months left. When I reach my seat I notice my book is placed on top of it. I turn around to see if the guys from earlier are still in the pool, but they're nowhere to be seen.

The next day I make sure I'm ready for my appointment with this so called 'hella handsome guy' from Angie. It takes me everything to get through with it, knowing Noah is in a completely different state nearing his end. It tears me apart.

I'm about to call in sick when Angie texts me. 'Your client is here, waitin for you. Get your ass over here.'

And with that, I decide it'd be an asshole move to ditch this guy. I quickly gather my stuff and make my way over to the wellness area of the hotel.

"there you are!" Angie howls out when I walk through the door. The look on my face must alarm her 'cause she immediately comes over and hugs me tightly, "Bad news again?" she asks softly and I nod.

Angie takes me into her embrace, "Take it easy, alright? And take all the time you need after this one, you've earned a vacation."

I look up at her with wide eyes and she just smiles at me and waves it off, "Now, go give the guy a good massage." she winks and I chuckle before walking over to my room.

As soon as I lay eyes on the guy, I notice it's one of the guys from yesterday. It's the one who was looking at me and who I made eye-contact with. "Hello, my name is (Y/N). I heard you wanted a massage?"

His eyes meet mine once again and a small smirk enters his face, "I'm Eddie. And yes, I am here for a massage. My back's been a whining mess, thought it'd be nice to let the muscles have a good time for a bit.." he says dryly and I can't help my smile.

I move forward and gesture for him to lie onto the bench, "Could you take off your shirt, please?" I ask and he send me an ever bigger smirk.

"I have never had someone ask me to take off my shirt like that, but yeah, gladly." he comments and once again I can't stop the smile on my face.

As I massage Eddie, I notice some sort of tenseness builds up in the room. It's as if the tenseness in Eddie's back moves to the entire room instead.

When I reach his lower back and press on it to relax the muscles there, Eddie let's out a grunt. The sound actually really turns me on, but I can't let him know that..

"Sorry, you alright? I didn't mean to hurt you." I apologise and he snickers, "God no, you're not hurting me. You just pressed me down a bit too hard, a sensitive spot hit the bench a bit too hard, if you know what I mean...."

My face goes a red shade of tomatoes and I can't seem to form any words, knowing that I made him hard enough for it to hurt when being pressed down onto it.

At my silence, Eddie turns and the corner of his mouth turns up into another smirk. "Is it something I said?" he asks innocently, he smirk never leaving his face.

"Not at all." I smirk back, two can play this game. I get back to massaging him and press him down on his lower back once more, only to earn another groan.

The smirk on my face keeps growing at the sounds leaving Eddie's mouth.

At one point, when I'm about to press down on his lower back once more, he quickly and swiftly turns around so my hands are pressed against the lower part of his stomach, half on the waistband of his pants. It is only then that I realise how hard he actually is.

My eyes move from is hard on to his eyes and I notice a hint of mischief in them, "You know, I had a hunch about what had you grunting like that, but I didn't expect it to be this... hard." I say bluntly. There's no use in pretending the tension isn't there and it'll only get worse if we both keep denying it.

"For what it's worth, you made me like this." He smirks, but there's also a hint of sincerity.

I move forward, closer to him, and lean down a bit so my mouth is next to his ear, "Did I, now?"

"You had me in this state even yesterday, but I figured you weren't really in for something like it. You're face showed some genuine sadness." he says, the smirk finally leaving his face at the end of the sentence.

I lean back to meet his eyes and notice he's already looking at me, "Yeah, you were right about that. But that's not something for us to talk about now."

He smiles and leans in a bit more, but halts when his lips brush against mine, leaving enough time and space for me to back off, but I don't, why would I?

I press my lips against his and all the tension that had been build up is released. Eddie's moves to sit up from his lying position and stands up from the bench, never disconnecting our lips.

He turns us around and puts his hands just below my ass, on my thighs, and lifts me up on the bench.

I bite on his lower lip and glide my tongue across his teeth, asking for permission, which he gives quickly. Our tongues dance together in a battle for dominance.

My arms find their way around Eddie's shoulders and I pull him as close to me as possible, our bodies completely pressed up against each other. Eddie's hands move from my neck and face down to my waist and lower to the hem of my shirt.

He breaks the kiss for a second and looks me directly into my eyes, asking for permission to take off my shirt. I nod and kiss him fiercely as soon as my shirt is abandoned. The fact that he's already shirtless spares us time.

His hands move to the waistband of my pants and within a second they're sliding down my legs. I can feel my core getting wetter and wetter and every second I get more needy for him.

My own hands find his waistband quickly and as I undo his zipper, I can already feel his manhood pleading for release. Eddie's let's out a grunt when I softly palm his clothed erection. "God, (Y/N), the things you do to me." he whispers against my lips.

I let out a chuckle and get back to unclothing him. I slide his pants, along with his boxers, down and I'm soon met with something my eyes widen at. He's even bigger than I expected.

Eddie smiles at my surprise and pushes himself against me, the tip of his cock teasingly moving against my clit. I let out a moan, but he swallows it with his mouth against mine.

During the kiss, I feel his hand leaving my waist and I soon feel pleasure wash over me when his fingers start playing with my clit.

I'm much of a moaning mess, "Eddie-" I say, trying to form a sentence, but failing miserably.

"Eddie, I needyou, now." I finally state after some more moans have left my mouth. He smiles against my lips, breaks apart for a second and looks at me, "You sure?"

I nod rapidly and Eddie starts positioning himself in front of my, "Ready?" he asks and I nod once again, this time desperately.

He pushes into me softly and we're both a moaning and groaning mess. Soon, he's all the way inside me and he gives me some time to adjust to the feeling of his huge cock inside me, before he starts thrusting in and out slowly.

We go on like that for a while, both moaning and groaning and grunting and Eddie whispering sweet nothings into my ear.

"Ed-, Eddie" I whisper, "I'm, so- so close."

His thrust seem to get even harder after I've said those words, "Come for me, love. Let it go." He whispers into my ear. And that's exactly what sends me over the edge.

Eddie's name leaves my mouth in a scream as I come and that seems to be it for him, since he soon follows and follows me action by screaming my name.

He thrusts in and out softly and gently a couple of times after we've come and we both get down from our highs.

He removes himself from inside me, but doesn't leave my side. His hands move back to my face and he cups my face with them, rubbing circles on my cheeks.

"How about I take you out on a date tonight?" he asks with a cheeky smile.

"That, Mr Vedder, sounds great." I answer before pressing my lips against his softly and kissing him passionately.


	25. My girl - Eddie Vedder

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one shot contains smut

"(Y/N) (L/N), everybody!!" (Y/N)'s bandmate yells into the crowd through the mic on stage. I can't help but smile at the sight of my girlfriend walking on stage, happy as ever.

The crowd goes wild and it's safe to say that me being proud of her is an understatement. I clap and scream along with the rest of the crowd.

This event is actually very similar to how I met her, which makes me adore her even more. She's still herself after those two years. Of course, we've been through some stuff, but we've always got through them together.

"Who is she?" I ask Jeff while we're getting a beer. Jeff follows my eyes, that are stuck at the stage we've just performed on. "That's (Y/N) (L/N). Singer of Fallen Flame." he answers while handing me my beer.

I absentmindedly walk a bit closer to the side of the stage, not wanting to drown in the crowd. "She's gorgeous." I whisper, but Jeff still seems to catch it.

"And single." he playfully adds before giving me a nudge.

My eyes go wide for a second, but soon I smile at him. "Should I talk to her?" I ask him and he laughs, "C'mon Ed, when did you get so shy?" he says. "Alright, maybe you've always been shy as hell, but you can do it, man. Go get her." Jeff says before shoving me in the direction of backstage.

I walk backstage, where I wait for what feels like hours until Fallen Flames finally comes down from the stage and backstage. I see (Y/N) walking at the back of the group, smiling and talking to her bandmates.

My eyes meet hers and for a moment I think my nerves are getting the best of me, but I contain myself from sprinting away and send her a smile. She seems to get the message and tells her bandmates to go on while she walks over to me.

"Hi," she smiles, "you're Eddie Vedder, from Pearl Jam, right?" she says and I can't hide my smile.

"I am, yeah. And you are (Y/N) (L/N), Fallen Flames." I state, trying to sound confident, but probably failing at doing so.

"God she's amazing." I whisper under my breath while looking at the sight of her. I still can't believe my happiness sometimes.

Someone shoves me lightly and when I turn I see it's only Jeff, beers in his hands, with a smile plastered on his face. "This is some kind of déjà vu." he says before handing me oe of the beers.

We both laugh, but soon my attention is back to the stage, to (Y/N), to be exact. "I love her, man." I tell Jeff and he simply throws his arm around my shoulder, "I know you do, Ed. And she loves you just as much, remember that."

Jeff eventually leaves me alone, going back to meet up with the guys. I tell him I'm going to stay here and wait for (Y/N) until she's done.

After a while she notices me and something in her performance seems to change from energetic and happy to mischievous and seductive. I feel my blood beginning to pump some more to a certain part of my body.

The movements she makes and the glances she throws at me don't help much, they only make it worse and I feel myself getting genuinely hard.

Their shows soon ends after that and I'm quick to go backstage. Her bandmates are greet me with a smile and I tell them they were great before they leave to do god knows what.

As soon as (Y/N)'s back stage, I grab her hand and yank her with me into my dressing room, making sure it's locked.

"You," I start, pointing my finger at her face, which currently wears a cheeky grin, "are very, very bad."

She laughs and throws her arms around my shoulders as my arms go around her waist, "Seducing me like that on stage, how dare you? You know how fucking hard you made me?" I ask, a playful tone in my voice and she just smiles at me.

"Couldn't help it, babe. You look so dashing tonight. And after what you did to me while you were on stage, I thought it was time for payback." she tells me before pecking my lips.

Confusion enters my face, "What Idid to you on stage? What the hell did I do?"

"Getting all sweaty and going wild like the way you did. Kind of a turn on, you know?" she says casually and I can't stop myself from bursting into a fit of laughter, which she joins in quickly.

The laughter soon dies down and we stare directly into each others eyes. I crash my lips to hers, this time with hunger and fierceness. She mirrors my hunger and slides her hands underneath my shirt, tracing all the parts of my back and sides.

I slide my tongue across her lips and she gets the message, opening her mouth and granting me passage. A moan escapes her lips and I slide my tongue against the top of her mouth and all around her tongue. I smile and press myself completely against her.

"Clothes off, now." she demands and I do immediately as I'm told, helping her out off her clothes in the process. As soon as we're both completely naked, I move the both of us over to the couch in the room and I lay her down softly, glimbing on top of her as soon as possible.

Before I can position myself in the way I was planning, a hand grabs my manhood and pumps up and down twice. I throw my head backwards and grunt. The grunt seems to encourage her to go on, 'cause after doing so, she goes on and on, making me go crazy with pleasure. It's safe to say (Y/N)'s handjobs are very much enough to send me over the edge.

When I feel myself growing closer, I remove myself from her grip, leaning down to kiss her lips passionately before lowering myself until my head's between her legs. I look up at her and smirk, before lowering my head and sliding my tongue against her folds. An encouraging sound leaves her mouth and I start sliding my tongue across her clit, playing with it for a bit, before sliding one finger into her.

She let's out a moan, which encourages me to slide another finger in. I slowly pump my fingers in and out of her while my tongue keeps playing my her clit.

"Ed- babe-" she let's out and I get the message. I remove my fingers from inside her and move my head up to claim her lips. She kisses me back eagerly and in the mean time I position myself between her legs.

I enter her slowly and gently and consume all her moans by kissing her. I grunt one or two times as well, feeling how tight she is around me.

As soon as we're both adjusted to the feeling, I start moving in and out slowly. I notice we're both not in for a rough one, so I keep my thrusts slow and steady, but pleasuring nonetheless.

"I love you, (Y/N)." I whisper, feeling my orgasm building itself up.

She smiles after letting out another moan, "As I love you, Eddie. So much." she says before claiming my lips in a meaningful kiss.

We both reach our orgasms at the same time, softly saying each other's names and we ride our high of slowly, before I pull out of her.

I let myself fall on the couch beside her, wrapping my arms around her as she nuzzles her head into the crook of my neck.

"I would've never believed you if you told me we'd end up like this two years ago when you were waiting for me backstage." she comments, which makes me laugh.

My hand moves from her waist up to her face and I caress her check softly, "I would've liked to believe it, but never imagined it." I tell her before placing a soft kiss on her head.

"I can't even express with words how much you mean to me, Eddie, really. I wouldn't know what to do without you."

I smile and feel myself getting all emotional, "I know, I wouldn't know what to do without you, either. But I won't leave you, (Y/N). You're my girl. For now and for as long as you want to be."


	26. Backstage I - Eddie Vedder

"Just go, (Y/N)! This might be your only chance!" Johnny tells me while pushing me in the direction to go backstage.

I sigh and give him a look, "But it's your ticket, I can't that away from you!"

Johnny lets out a laugh, before wrapping me in a hug, "I got the ticket for you, I need to go anyways. I don't want to keep Hannah waiting for me too long, I told her I'd go home immediately after the show."

I wrap my arms even tighter around him, "God, I have no idea how I'm ever gonna repay you for this, but thanks John, it means the world to me! I love you, see you soon, yeah?"

"Of course, have fun!"

Johnny leaves my side and makes his way over to the exit as I nervously walk over to the guard who's guarding the entrance to go backstage. "Ticket." the guard says in a low, emotionless, voice and I show him the ticket Johnny just gave me.

The guard let's me through and soon I'm waiting backstage for Pearl Jam to come off stage. Here I am, a 22 year old woman, totally nervous and totally crushing on a band. Well, on the lead-singer, to be exact. Eddie Vedder. Who doesn't find the man intriguing?

I look around and I notice there are only a couple others. I expected it to be quite packed in here, but I guess I'm one of the few lucky ones tonight. I really need to think of a way to repay Johnny.

Johnny is like my big brother. He's always looking after me. We became friends back in high school and we stayed together ever since. A lot of people always expected John and I to get together and get married, but it never happened. We have kissed a couple of times, but that was mostly during games of truth or dare and someone dared on of us to kiss the other. Johnny is in a happy, healthy, relationship with Hannah and has been for over three years already. They're honestly the cutest couple on this world.

"Oh my god, there they come!" a younger boy excitedly yells to his dad while pointing at the men emerging from stage.

I'm standing a little more in the back, 'cause I got here a bit later than the rest, but I can clearly see each one of them coming down from the stairs.

When I see Eddie's figure, my breath hitches. He's even better-looking in person.

The guys make sure to go over to the young boy and his dad. Shaking hands with the father and embracing the boy. They all seem so nice and happy and I can't help my heart when it flutters a bit.

"Hey there." a voice calls and I immediately snap out of my daze. When I turn to see who's talking to me, I'm met with a very familiar face. "H-hi," I say softly, getting flustered.

Stone lets out a chuckle before offering me his hand, "I'm Stone." I shake his hand and let out a soft laugh, "I know. I'm (Y/N)."

Eddie is my very fave, but Stone comes close after. "I figured you did, but it's only polite to properly introduce myself." he says and we both laugh some more.

"How did you like the show? Got a good look?"

I shake my head, "Very much, yes. And the show was amazing, really! I had a great time."

Stone smiles and offers me a drink for which a thank him. Someone from their crew just handed him two bottles of coke. "Was this your first show?"

"No, I've seen you live before. At MTV Unplugged in '92. It's been a while, but I was there." I tell him and a smile spreads across his face once more. He takes a sip before saying, "That has been a while indeed. We've gotten old."

To that we both burst out in laughter again. It was in different century, really. Now being the year 2000.

After my conversation with Stone, Jeff and Mike join me and Stone leaves me to greet another fan. They're also a lot of fun. Mike is as funny as they say and Jeff is just really fun to be around as well.

I walk over to Matt once Jeff and Mike leave to greet the boy from earlier. Matt is a very nice guy, staying a little more professional than the others, but it's a great honor to meet him.

Then, last but certainly not least, I walk over to Eddie, who is now sitting on a small couch, taking a sip of his drink.

"Hi." I say softly. Pretty much succeeding in keeping my voice steady. Eddie looks up and when his eyes meet mine he freezes for a bit, but soon regains himself and smiles at me. "Hey!"

Eddie gestures for me to sit next to him and I do exactly that. As soon as I sit down, a heat washes over me when I realise how small the couch actually is. "I'm Eddie." Eddie comments and I smile, repeating my phrase from before with Stone, "I know, I'm (Y/N)."

Laughter leaves Eddie's mouth and I can't help but feel my heart skip a beat at the sight of him. He really, really, really is way better looking in person.

"I noticed you and Stone laughing earlier, he is a funny guy, isn't he?" Eddie suddenly says, the smile still present on his face, but something seems off. I just smile back at him and nod, "Yeah, he really is. All the guys are, really. Matt just stayed a bit more serious, but it was great to meet him as well." I tell him and only then I feel myself going red at the thought of Eddie having noticed me before I walked up to him.

Eddie moves forward to place his glass on a table and when he moves back, he turns slightly to face me better. His leg is gently pressed against mine, and I expect him to move back a bit, but he doesn't and the physical contact makes my breath hitch for a moment.

"Stone told me you've seen us at the MTV show, that right?" he asks to which I nod. "It's been a while though, it was very nice to see you guys perform again."

Eddie smiles and looks down for a minute, "How old are you, if I may ask."

The question catches me off guard, but I answer nonetheless. "I'm 22. I was only 14 when I saw you guys for the first time."

"That's what I was thinking about..." Eddie clarifies as he meets my eyes again and smiles, "You seem quite young and I was just wondering how old you were back then. It's cool to know we had such young fans."

Eddie and I talk about their show and music for a bit longer. I can feel there's some sort of tension, but decide to ignore it, not wanting to give myself some sort of unrealistic ideas. But then Eddie decides to ask another question that catches me off guard. Even more than the previous one.

"Do you, maybe, want to go with me and the guys to the bar? We're heading there in a bit and I thought maybe you'd want to come with us.."

I look around and notice I'm the only one left from the fans who were allowed backstage for the meet&greet. The other guys are also already gone, probably to their dressing-rooms or something. "You don't have to, of course..." Eddie comments after I don't answer for a couple of minutes.

I immediately move my head back to meet his eyes and send him a smile, "No! No, I'd love that, actually!"

A smile reappears on Eddie's face and I can feel my heart skipping another beat or two. Why would Eddie invite me to a night out with his bandmates?

Not much later, me and the guys of Pearl Jam are making our way down the streets of New York to a bar they seem to go to whenever they're here in the city.

Stone sent Eddie a smirk when he told me I'd be joining them to the bar. I once again decided to ignore the ideas that got into my head afterwards.

"Here's to our amazing fans!" Eddie states while making a toast. We all clink our glasses together and in the background I hear. Stone whispering, "and to the hot ones." to Eddie. Eddie immediately gives Stone a nudge, causing him to drop some of his drink and Stone just bursts out in laughter. I feel myself go red and excuse myself from the table to 'use the bathroom'.

I hear Eddie telling Stone off for his comment, which he figures I must've heard.

When I enter the bathroom, I splash a little bit of water on my face. It's then that Stone's comment really gets to me. Did Eddie just invite me because he thinks I'm hot? Did he just invite me with the expectations to end up in bed with me?

I wouldn't mind, to be honest. But that's not how I spend my days. I'm quite old-fashioned if we're talking about that, actually. I don't sleep around with whoever crosses my path, I wait till I know for sure that there's something serious going on between me and him and that's when I know I'm ready to sleep with him.

I quickly move the idea of Eddie just using me for some fun to the back of my head and walk back to our table. Eddie smiles at me when I sit down next to him. He notices my drink is empty and looks around the table to see the other ones are also empty. "Wanna get a new round?" Eddie asks me and I nod, a bit hesitantly. The idea of Eddie using me still playing in my mind.

I mean, I don't know Eddie personally, at all. Who knows? Maybe he is one to just jump in bed with whoever he wants. I'm sure he's used to people throwing themselves at him, maybe he figures me to be the same.

"You heard Stone's comment earlier, didn't you?" Eddie asks gently while we make our way over to the bar.

I look down at my hands and nod, "Yeah, I did."

Eddie suddenly stops walking, far enough from the table for the guys to see us, and puts a hand on my shoulder. I look up to meet his eyes and I can see the sympathy in his eyes. "Stone just likes to tease. I mean, he was right, you are very pretty and all, but he didn't mean anything with it."

My breath hitches in my throat as soon as the words leave his mouth, "You think I'm pretty?" I ask him with wide eyes.

He lets out a soft laugh and looks down, removing his gaze from mine, "Ehm, yeah. I do. I don't mean to make anything weird, though! I just- I don't know.."

After a couple of minutes of not reacting, Eddie looks up to meet my eyes again, "I didn't make you uncomfortable, did I?"

"No! No, not really, I guess... I mean, it's just nice to hear that the man you've been crushing on for as long as you can remember thinks you're pretty, that's all..."

The words leave my mouth without even knowing they do. When I register what I just told Eddie, my face grows hot and I feel the need to vanish from this planet. "I- eh, I- I'm sorry- I, didn't mean to..."

Eddie smiles at my rambling figure, "It's alright, no need to apologize. Let's just get some drinks now.." I agree with him and we continue our walk to the bar.

The rest of the evening goes by in an instant. Even though there's some tension between me and Eddie ever since our privet conversation, it's amazing to spend time with the guys. They're all much older than I am, but it's not even that obvious. They're all so much fun to be around and they treat me as nothing less than an equal. At first, Matt hat some trouble with me, being a fan, going out with them, but he soon realised I'm not that bad.

"I'm gonna call it a night, guys. I've got to work tomorrow and I'm not the kind of person to cope well with just a few hours of sleep..." I tell them after a couple of hours.

I earn some smiles from the guys and they all tell me they had fun, as had I. The hug me and when I'm about to hug Eddie, he tells me he'll walk me out and gestures for me to walk to the exit with him.

"Thanks for inviting me tonight, Eddie. I had a great time, I really did." I tell him, feeling a bit nervous now that we're alone again.

Eddie smiles at me and steps rather close, "Thank you for coming to see us tonight, I never would've met you if it wasn't for you coming to the show."

"You never would've met me if it wasn't for my best friend." I tell him with a laugh. Eddie raises his eyebrow. "Johnny, my best friend, gave me the backstage ticket as a surprise after the show..."

His mouth forms the shape of an 'o'. We're standing in the hallway and when someone wants to pass us, he bumps into Eddie, causing Eddie to bump into me, his body flush against mine.

For what feels like the millionth time, I feel myself going red as I look up at Eddie, who hasn't moved back yet, even though the guy passing us is already long gone.

I notice Eddie already looking down at me when my eyes meet his. He leans down a bit, giving me enough space to move away, but I stay put, too caught up in the moment. When his lips finally meet mine, firework explodes through my whole body.

He presses himself closer to my body and a moan escapes my lips, muffled by his lips catching it. He slides his tongue into my mouth and groans as soon as our tongues collide.

The kiss ends, too soon for my liking, but it does. Eddie moves to look into my eyes, but when I meet his eyes, he looks away with a serious look on his face. "I'm sorry."

My left hand moves up to his face and then I move his face so he's looking into my eyes again, "Don't be."

"But you're so young, (Y/N). I'm fucking 14 years older!" Eddie exclaims, getting frustrated with himself.

I just start stroking his cheek with my thumb, making him relax under my touch. "It's not as if it's illegal..."

At that Eddie lets out a small chuckle, "That's true."

We just stay like that for a couple of seconds, looking into each other's eyes, enjoying each other's presence. "Let me walk you home."

"Yeah, sure."

Eddie quickly walks back to the table and tells the guys he's gonna walk me home, grabbing and putting on his jacket in the process.

He soon returns and holds out his hand while walking out of the bar. I grab it with a smile on my face. "You know, I never expected the Eddie Vedder to walk me home after I'd meet him at a concert backstage."

We both let out a laugh, "I never expected this either. And just so you know, well I want you to know, I don't usually do this.. I mean, asking 'fans' to come with me and the guys to drink something at the bar. It's not as if this is a standard for me."

The fact that he was concerned about me thinking this was a standard for me makes me like the guy even more. Of course, I've always had a crush on him, but now that I've really met him I realised that he's so much more than just a pretty face and a godly voice.

"Thank you for telling me. Honestly, I was scared that I was just 'one of them' for a moment. After Stone made that comment... I really did think you just invited me because you had the power to. I mean, I don't know how to say it, but you know what I mean..." I tell him honestly and he nods understanding. "I know, I figured you thought so, that's why I told you to ignore Stone's comment."

A smirk suddenly enters Eddie's voice as he lets out a laugh. "What?" I ask with a smile on my face.

"It's just- I just remembered what you said after I asked if I had made you uncomfortable. When you said that you'd been crushing on me for as long as you could remember. It's a nice thing to think about. And it's quite funny. Cute as well."

I use my free hand to give him a nudge and he just laughs, untangling our fingers and throwing his arm around me.

"God (Y/N). I've never fucking felt this way and it's kind of scaring me, to be honest." his voice suddenly sounds serious.

I turn my head to look at his face, "What way? What's scaring you?"

Eddie feels my eyes on the side of his face and turns his head as well, we've stopped walking and now we're standing next to each other, facing each other. "I- What I feel is... I don't know, actually. I just know that in those past couple of hours I've grown quite fond of you. I don't even know much about you, but I want to get to know you, that's for sure. I don't want to scare you away, that's the last thing I want right now. I just want you to know that I kind of feel some sort of attraction towards you, and not just because you're gorgeous, also because you've got this awesome personality and-"

I cut him off by pressing my lips against his once more. He tenses up for a second, but soon relaxes and wraps his arms around my body, bringing me closer to him.

I rest my forehead against his once we break apart, looking him directly in his eyes, "You and your fucking amazing way with words. But seriously, I feel the same, Eddie. I mean, I've always kind of liked you, but that was more like an idea of you? I don't know. It was just a crush on someone unavailable. But now that I've gotten to know you a little, I'm very sure that I like you. And not just because you're the famous Eddie Vedder."

Eddie smiles and pecks my lips one more time before wrapping one arm around my shoulder. "Let's get you home now, yeah?" I nod and lean into his body a bit, resting my head on his shoulder while we're walking through the busy streets in New York City.

The rest of the walk is spent in silence, a comfortable silence. As we get closer and closer to my house, I can feel something inside me telling me that I'm not ready for this to be over. I don't want this to be the last time I get to see him. What if he's got to go to another city, another state even, for his next show?

We reach my house quickly afterwards and Eddie notices the change in my mood. "Everything alright?"

"Yes, I just- I don't want you to go yet."

When I look up to meet Eddie's eyes, the sweetness from the night is replaced by something else ...hunger, maybe? The look on his face turns me on more than anything and I can't help but feel excited and incredibly horny all of a sudden.

"Do you want to come inside, mr Vedder?" I ask with a playful voice.

Eddie's voice is low, "Oh definitely."


	27. Backstage II - Eddie Vedder

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one shot contains smut

"Do you want to come inside, mr Vedder?" I ask with a playful voice.

Eddie's voice is low, "Oh definitely."

As soon as we're inside, Eddie presses me against the wall. The door is not even entirely closed yet and I let out a laugh when he realises that too. He kicks the door closed and turns his head back to mine.

Remember when I said that I'm not one to jump into bed with a guy I just met? Well, there's a first time for everything, right?

Eddie crashes his lips against mine and a lot of new emotions run through my body. He kisses me much harder than before and his tongue is battling with mine. Battling for dominance.

I move my body into his, bucking my hips up a little and earning a rough groan from Eddie when I move against his clothed erection. "Jeez, Ed." a load moan leaves my mouth when I feel how hard he already is.

"Bedroom?" it comes out as a whisper from his mouth.

"Bedroom."

Since he doesn't know where my bedroom is, I grab a fistful of his shirt, slamming my lips against his roughly as pull him with me in the direction of my bedroom. Clothes are already being discarded on our way there and when we reach finally reach my bedroom, we're left in just our underwear.

Eddie's eyes me closely and lets out a whine-like sigh of content, "You're beautiful."

The heat moves up to my cheeks and he smirks when he notices. I move backwards, sitting on the edge of my bed, unclasping my bra in a teasing-manner. The groans that leave Eddie's mouth make sure that I'm even wetter than before.

When my bra finally meets the floor somewhere in my room, Eddie immediately moves forward and practically throws himself at me. He has me pinned down on my bed, his hands on my wrists, keeping them in place above my head, while he's straddling me. "Beautiful, but such a fucking tease."

The laugh that escapes my mouth is quickly replaced by a moan when Eddie crashes his lips against mine and starts grinding down on me. The feeling of his clothed hard-on is enough to have me soaking wet.

Suddenly, a thought pops up in my mind and for a moment I freeze, all the emotions from before gone, replaced by fear and shame. I suddenly feel very self-conscious and naked. Eddie notices the change in my body language and moves back to look at me, "Everything alright?"

My eyes meet his and I suddenly feel much younger than I actually am. "If you don't want to continue, we can stop. I don't want to push you into doing something you don't want..."

"No! No, I- It's not that. I want to, I want to do this with you.. It's just-" I start, but Eddie cuts me off. "You've never done this before, have you?" The look on his face is gentle and everything and not judgmental in the least.

I look away from his eyes, ashamed, but nod nonetheless.

Eddie removes his hand from my left wrist and places is underneath my chin, lifting my face up to meet his eyes. "As I said, if you want to stop, we can stop. But I don't care if you've never had sex before and I certainly won't judge you for it."

A small smile spreads across my face and I move my face up to place a lingering kiss on his lips, "I don't want to stop. I just-, it suddenly crossed my mind and I thought you should know."

"Thank you for telling me, but now, let's get back to business." The hunger from before is back in his eyes and I once again completely lose myself in them.

Moans are being released as Eddie places kisses all over my bare chest, giving my nipple extra attention by licking them. One of his hands move to cup my breast and he squeezes it gently.

I can feel his weight shifting from above me, to below me. His head is currently hovering above my panties. Our eyes meet and he looks at me in a way as if he's asking permission. I just close my eyes and let my head fall back on the pillow.

The lace of my panties are removed from my body by Eddie's rough fingers. I let out a loud whimper as soon as his thumb grazes over my clit. I look up and see his hungry eyes already looking at me.

Only a second later, he drops his head between my legs and starts licking his way through my folds, stopping at my clit and playing with it.

I can't stop myself from becoming a moaning, whimpering, panting, mess. Eddie is just so fucking skilled with his tongue circling around my clit.

Just when I think things can't get any better, he enters a finger in my core. "Eddie!" I scream out his name at the new feeling. He immediately stops moving them and his head comes. It's a very funny sight, actually. "Shit, sorry. You alright?"

His voice is husky and gruffy and so goddamn sexy. I let out a small, tired, laugh, "Yes, just- you know.."

He smiles, "I know, tell me when it's too much, yeah?"

I nod and lose myself once again when he starts pumping his fingers in and out. He continues like that for a while, licking and pumping. I'm about to reach my high, but I'm suddenly met with an unsatisfying emptiness when Eddie removes himself from me completely.

The whine that leaves my mouth causes Eddie to laugh as he moves himself up, hovering above me. He reconnects our lips and I scrunch my nose when I realize that the unfamiliar taste on his lips, are my own juices.

The moment our kiss becomes heated, I receive some kind of confidence boost. I push myself up, pushing Eddie down on the bed in the process, so it's now me who's hovering above Eddie.

My hand slides down his bare chest, taking in every muscle I can feel. I only stop moving when I reach the bulge in his boxers. Eddie lets out a deep grunt when I start palming his clothed erection.

I break the kiss and move downwards, pressing kisses on his torso and licking his stomach here and there. His boxers are down in a second as soon as I reach the waistband and his cock flies up, slapping across his lower stomach.

My eyes grow wide as I take in the size of his cock. I grab the base of it and give it a slight squeeze, not really sure of what I'm supposed to do. The moan that leaves Eddie's mouth is encouraging enough for me to continue with what I had in mind.

The hand that's not on his cock moves to his balls and I squeeze them every now and them in between massaging them. With my other hand I start pumping up and down on his cock. My thumb runs over the tip, feeling the pre-cum. I'm very insecure about my next move, but I manage to gather enough confidence to do it anyway.

I move my head down and give the head of his cock a lick. Eddie hisses at the touch and for a second I'm afraid I'm doing this all wrong, but when Eddie's hand moves into my hair, tugging lightly at it, I realize that what I'm doing to him is probably having a positive effect.

After a couple more licks, I move more downwards and take his cock completely in my mouth. I start experimenting and after a couple of minutes, Eddie moves his hips up and slightly thrusts into my mouth, causing me to gag every so lightly.

He immediately apologizes and I quickly go back to sucking him off as I did before. Eddie's increasing swearwords let me know he's close, so me, being as much of a tease as he was earlier, remove myself from his cock and send him a lazy grin when he lets out a whine.

His hands move to grip on my waist and he moves me up to kiss me hard. I can feel his throbbing cock between my legs, teasing at my entrance. One of my hands is on his chest, the other is tugging on his hair at the back of his head.

Without warning, Eddie slowly slides himself inside me and my nails immediately dig into his skin. My eyes are shut and I let out a shaky breath as I try to adjust to the size of him inside me. "You ok?" Eddie whispers in my ear and after a couple seconds I nod.

The movement of Eddie pushing himself inside even deeper before moving back, increases the pain a bit. Eddie keeps still for a while, gently turning our bodies so he's on top of me once again.

When he sees my face relax, he places a tender kiss on my lips while slowly moving in and out of me again. At first, it still hurts, he's pretty fucking big... But soon enough, the pain is replaced by an amazing feeling.

I feel myself becoming more and more needy, so when I want him to go faster, I grab a fist of his hair and tug at it pretty hard. Eddie lets out a groan, mixed of pain and pleasure, and quickly gets the message.

We both hold ourselves together pretty well, but at a certain point, Eddie's thrust become quite sloppy and uneven. He moves his head down next to mine and whispers sweet nothings into my ear, before announcing: "I'm gonna come, so- (Y/N)!"

Before I can even react to what he's saying, I get sent over the edge and I release my come around his cock. This must send Eddie over the edge a well, 'cause as soon as I come something starts feeling my insides, and it's not Eddie's cock. It's his come.

We both pant heavily as we ride off our highs. He gently removes himself from me and he lets himself fall down on the bed next to me. "God, you sure that was your first time?"

I let out a laugh, "Very sure, yeah."

Eddie moves his head to the side and looks at me, "Well, I hope I lived up to your expectations."

His comment causes me to slap his chest playfully. "Yeah, you did, very much so." I tell him after a short silence.

Suddenly, Eddie gets up from the bed. He turns around to look at me and when he notices my confused look, he speaks up with a smile, "C'mon, let's get ourselves cleaned up a bit. It's really not nice to wake up and be all sticky."

So that's exactly what we do. We both get cleaned quickly and when I get back into my room, Eddie's already laying in my bed in just his boxers. He looks at me and stretches his arms, signaling me to come to him.

I chuckle at the sight and move over to him, only to have him wrap his arms around me like I'm something he doesn't ever want to let go off. He gently lifts me up and lays me down beside him, covering both of us up with the covers.

We just look into each other's eyes for a while, enjoying one another's presence. Eddie moves his arm up and gently brushes a strand of hair out of my face before leaning in and placing a delicate kiss on my lips. I melt under his touch and crawl even closer to him, his body now pressed against mine.

He wraps his arms around me once again and after we break the kiss, I snuggle my head closer to him and rest it in the crook of his neck.

It's silent for a bit longer, before I mutter "This better not be a one-time thing."

The hand that was caressing my side stops abruptly, which causes me to move my head back. I look at Eddie, suddenly feeling very out of place.

The silence and the look on Eddie's face make sure I get rid of every single bit of confidence I had left.

The confidence is soon brought back when Eddie crashes his lips against mine in such a passionate manner. "God, of course not." he lets out when he rests his head against mine.

"It will be hard and stressful at times, I'm sure, but I'm also very sure that I want to make this work, (Y/N). I know we've only known each other for, like, a couple of hours, but I don't care. You make me feel some kind of way and that feeling is definitely something I want to keep feeling."

His words make my heart skip multiple beats. I throw my arms around him and I can feel him letting out a relieved sigh, "We'll make this work, I promise."


	28. Jealousy - Stone Gossard

"So this guy, Eddie, what's he like?" I ask Dave, who is sitting on the couch in my tiny living room. I give him a beer and take the seat next to him.

"He's quiet, but I guess he's alright. You'll find out tonight, though." Dave comments before taking a swig of his beer. 

I give him a confused look, "What about tonight?"

"Oh, Stone didn't tell you? We're gonna practise tonight and thought it'd be nice to invite you and Becky, to meet Eddie."

I nod, "That sounds nice! I'm curious to see who that beautiful voice belongs to." I say and we both start laughing.

I am surprised Stone didn't tell me, though. He always tells me everything. I assume Mike told Becky immediately.

Dave and I used to share an apartment together, that's how I got to know the other guys from Mookie Blaylock and that's also how Stone and I got to know each other.

When Stone and I got together, I decided I was in for my own apartment. Dave understood and now he lives in our old apartment with his girlfriend.

"Hey Krusen, I think I'm gonna take a shower and get ready for tonight then. What time am I expected?" I ask as Dave finishes his beer.

"Just make sure you're ready at 6. I'll tell Stone to come and pick you up."

I nod in agreement and Dave and I let Dave out after saying goodbye.

It's now 3:45 PM, which means I've got plenty of time left to get ready and eat something. But me being me, am I too lazy to cook something, so I decided to go out to the pizzeria around the corner of my apartment.

Just before I leave my apartment, the phone rings. I get back in the living room and answer the phone.

"Hello?

"Hey Darlin', wanna grab some food?"

"Hey Steno, yeah 'course. I was just gonna head out to the pizzeria actually. Meet me there in 10?"

"Sure thing, see you then babe."

"Seee ya."

I hang up with a smile on my face. Recently Stone and I haven't had the chance to be together very often due to the band meetings and then they finally got their singer, so it was a nice idea to grab dinner with him again.

After about a two minute walk I make it to the pizzeria and get a table for two. Not too long after that Stone arrives and when he spots me a smile spreads across his face.

"Hi dear," he says before pecking my lips and taking the seat opposite from me.

"Hi love, I've missed you."

"I know, I've missed you, too." he smiles.

Soon after we order something to drink and our pizza's. The pizza's arrive, along with the drinks very quickly and we both dig in.

We just talk about how things are going and I ask him why he didn't invite me for tonights practice. He looks up with a guilty look and tells me he completely forgot due to the fact that he's a bit stressed out lately, because of the band and also because of work.

I tell him it's not a problem and he shouldn't worry about it, because I know he's stressed. And besides that, it's humane to forget something every once in a while. We both laugh it off and continue our delicious meal.

Afterwards we go back to my place and both get ready. Stone has enough clothes at my place to survive for a month.

In the meantime Stone got called by Dave, who told him he should pick me up, Stone explains he's already with me and we laugh a bit.

At 5:45 PM it's time to leave the apartment, so we make our way down to Stone's car and he drive's us to Jeff's house, which is where they have been practising the last couple of days.

"There they are!" Jeff chimes as soon as we step foot into the basement of his house.

"Hey guys," Stone and I say at the same time, which causes everyone to laugh.

There is one face I have never seen before, which can only mean one thing.

I walk up to the guy and extend my hand, "You must be the infamous Eddie Vedder. I'm (Y/N)." I say with a smile.

He returns both gestures, "Indeed I am, madame." he says which makes me laugh. In the corner of my eye I see Stone making a face I'm not used to seeing, but I decide to ignore it.

"Well, welcome to Seattle, I'm sure you're gonna have a great time." I say, "Oh! and I just wanted to say that, even though I haven't heard it live yet, you've got a beautiful voice." I smile

If I didn't know any better I'd say a faint blush appears on Eddie's face, but I don't get the chance to see if it is really there, 'cause Stone makes sure of that.

He snatches my hand, "We're gonna grab a beer upstairs. Anyone else want anything?" he asks nonchalantly. I don't say anything about the fact that he just, pretty rudely, took me away from a conversation. But since it was ending anyways, I let it slip and go up with Stone to get some drinks.

The guys finish their practice with satisfied looks on their faces. Becky and I clap and cheer very loudly, which makes them all laugh and Eddie even gets a bit flushed by it.

Stone and Jeff are the ones to clean up the mess, so I decide to take a smoke outside with Eddie.

"You were great, I'm sure you guys will make it far. I really hope you do, you deserve it." I said while Eddie lit his own cigarette.

He smiled, "Thanks, it really means a lot. And thanks for making me feel so welcome here, it's really good to have that feeling."

I look at him for a second and put my hand on his shoulder, "No problem, Eddie. It's the least thing I can do. After all, I don't want to scare you away."

We burst into a bit of laughter until Stone comes out as well. First, he smiles, but when he sees my hand on Eddie's shoulder while we're laughing, it fades.

"What's so funny?" he asks pretty annoyed.

I give him a weird look and I immediately feel Eddie tense up. I remove my hand from his shoulder and finish my cig.

"Aren't we allowed to have fun and laugh about things?" I ask, getting annoyed by the fact that ever since I made contact with Eddie, Stone got all tensed up and annoyed. 

He probably thinks I don't see it, but I've known him longer than a day, I know when he's jealous. I've told him so many times he has nothing to worry and shouldn't be jealous, but I guess he doesn't seem to understand.

"Yeah, you are. But not with you're hands all over him."

There he goes. He always makes such a scene of things.

Eddie immediately takes a step back and starts apologising, to both Stone and me, but I shrug it off.

"Don't apologise Ed, Stone's being an ass and he knows, he just can't help it."

I know that was harsh, but can you blame me? I've had a couple of drinks and I was seriously just talking to a guy with one fucking hand on his shoulder, not even with any intentions.

"Are you serious, (Y/N)?" Stone asks flabbergasted. 

"I'm gonna head in guys, I- I'll see you later." Eddie quietly says before sprinting inside. 

"What is your problem?" Stone continues.

I roll my eyes and as I'm about to grab another cig from my pocket, Stone gabs my hand to prevent it from happening.

"Answer me, (Y/N)."

I wriggle myself from his grip and turn around, "Why are you always so fucking jealous when I'm around new guys?" I yell as I turn to face him again.

His features soften when he sees my face: not angry, just disappointed.

"(Y/N)-" Stone tries, but I'm not done yet.

"No, Stone. When I was talking to Eddie before practice, you were already being an ass in front of him and now this? Look, I get that you don't want to lose me. Hell, I don't want to lose you either! But please, if I say that you've got no reasons to be jealous, then don't be. 'Cause you're an ass if you're jealous. And I don't like a jealous Steno."

I finish my rant and grab a cig as I'm done.

Stone walks up to me and grabs my face between his hands, "I'm sorry, love. It's just, Eddie is a good-looking guy, you know?" he says and makes me chuckle. "I just got insecure again. Please, forgive me, though?" he says with those fucking puppy eyes.

"I really can't stay angry at you for more than 5 minutes." I say as I give in and feel his soft lips on mine. 

He kisses me tenderly and shows me just how much he loves me and it's the best feeling in the whole wide world. Hell, in the whole universe!

"I love you, babe." he says with a soft voice after we broke apart.

"Hmm, yeah, I love you too, but first you need to apologise for acting like a dick towards Eddie."

He laughs, but listens nonetheless. I follow him inside, hands intertwined. It is true though, I really can't stay mad at him for more than 5 minutes.


	29. Dances - Stone Gossard

"Hey boys." I greet the guys casually as you enter the studio.

They all give me a small wave and smile at me as I make my way over to Stone. "Hey there, Hot Stuff."

Stone chuckles and wraps his arms around me while placing a sweet kiss on my head, "Hey darling,"

The guys all 'awee' and Stone snorts, "Wait till you guys finally find someone, then you're allowed to talk." He playfully spats and they all turn silent within a second, which makes me laugh.

"We're done here, aren't we?" Stone asks the guys and they nod. "Good, let's go." He says before taking my hand in his and leaving the studio.

I send them a quick "Bye!" before we're outside and laugh at Stone for his eagerness to leave the place.

As soon as we're outside he leans into me and his lips crash against mine in a gentle, passionate kiss. I melt under his touch and my hands move from his side to the nape of his hair and I tug lightly at it.

He breaks the kiss and smiles at me, "I've missed you." he says before pecking my lips once more. He takes my hand is his again and starts walking me down the street.

"Where are you taking me?" I ask and he just shrugs, "Home. Not really in the mood to do anything else but relax on a couch with you in my arms."

I rest my head against his shoulder, "That's what we're gonna do, then." I say and he wraps his arm around my shoulder.

I takes us a while to reach his apartment, due to the fact that he was up for a walk around the city. I always like a good walk, so I went along with it.

When we finally step inside, there's something off about the apartment. Lights are on, which are supposed to be off. Music is softly playing in the background, which isn't supposed to be playing. The whole apartment is cleaned, which wasn't cleaned when I left earlier, after Stone, so he couldn't have cleaned the place.

Stone acts as if nothings weird about the situation and casually takes of his jacket as he gestures for me to do the same and hangs them both up on the wall. "Want something to drink, sweetheart?" he asks as he walks into the living room. I follow him, but still hesitantly since I don't trust the situation fully. "Yes, please." I tell him absentmindedly.

He realises my behaviour isn't as it's usually and turns around, "Something wrong?"

I just shrug, "I don't know. Usually there aren't any lights on when we get back, there isn't any music playing and it sure as hell wasn't so clean in here when I left." I explain.

The corner of his mouth turns up a bit, "Maybe you're just imagining things, love. Don't worry. Get over here." he says as he holds out his arm.

I let my guard down and walk over to Stone to grab his hand, "You're probably right. So, you were getting me wine?" I ask with a playful hint in my voice and he starts laughing.

"Sure, darling. Already on my way."

I move to sit on the couch and Stone soon comes back with two glasses of wine, handing me one of them. "Stand up." he commands and I send him a confused look. "C'mon." he says while holding out his free hand. I take it and he helps me up, guiding me over the empty space in the living room.

"Stay here." he says before walking over to the record player and turning up the volume a bit. When he gets back, he smiles lovingly at me and gestures for me to take a sip of my wine as he does so, before taking the glass out of my hand and placing both his and mine on the side table.

"What are you up to, eh?" I ask him as I start laughing. He just smiles at me and wraps his arms around my waist before slowly starting to dance. I wrap my arms around his neck and smile up to him.

In the background 'Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now' by The Smiths is playing. "I love this song." I whisper, my head resting on his chest.

"I know." I simply says.

We sway around for a bit and there's nothing I want to do more than this right now. I love moments with Stone like these. "I love you, (Y/N)." he says softly, his mouth close to my ear, before placing a sweet kiss behind my ear.

Once again, I completely melt into him, but before I can say something back, Stone breaks our embrace and looks at me with big eyes. "What's wro-" I start, but when Stone get's down on one knee, I'm left speechless.

I throw my hands up to cover my mouth and tears, happy tears of course, already threaten to spill.

Stone reaches for his back pocket and a small box comes into view when he holds it in front of you.

"So.." he starts, "I'm not very good at giving speeches, or things like that, but I just want you to know that I love you, so dearly, and I can't imagine my life without you, (Y/N). We've both been through some tough stuff, but we were always there for each other, and always will be. I want to spend the rest of my life with you more than anything, I want to grow old with you, I want to have kids with you, even grandkids. I want to be able to wake up next to you for the rest of my life. I want to be able to always be there for you. I want you, (Y/N), as my wife. So will you, (Y/N) (L/N), please do me the favor, and even more: honour, of becoming my wife by marrying me?"

It takes only a second for everything to sink in and as soon as it does, I nod my head fiercely, "Of course I'll marry you, Steno. I love you!" I say, through the tears rolling down my face.

Stone reaches for my hand, which I immediately hold out, and he slides the ring onto my ring finger. He stand up slowly, only to be attacked by me throwing my self onto him and sobbing breathlessly into his neck. "I love you so much, Stone Carpenter Gossard."

He chuckles and his grip around me tightens.


	30. Hidden Feelings - Stone Gossard

I am just about to head out to do some grocery-shopping when my phone starts ringing.

"(Y/N), here." I say when I answer the call.

"Hey little one, you free?" It's Eddie.

I smile, even though he can't see me, "I'm just about to do some shopping, but I'm free later? You guys in the studio again?"

He tells me they, indeed, are and after a couple of minutes it's decided that I'll do the shopping and drop by afterwards.

I'm back home, dropping off the groceries, in no-time and grab my purse before heading out again. This time to the boys' self-made studio in Jeff's garage.

I walk into the garage without knocking, we never knock, actually. Before heading into the actual studio, I take off my coat and drop my purse on a table.

"There she is!" Mike exclaims as I walk into the studio, a smile on my face. "Hey boys."

"Hey little one." Eddie says, once again calling me by the nickname they gave me. Only because I'm a tad bit younger than they are.

I greet them all with a hug, as friends do. But when I reach Stone, I feel myself starting to get nervous. I don't even know why, ever since a couple of months I've been starting to get nervous around him. He's been one of my best friends for ages, I never used to get nervous. I guess the fact that I started developing feelings for him now tends to make me nervous.

"Hey there pretty girl," he says with a teasing tone before wrapping his arms around me. His nickname for me makes me blush and I hear some whispers from the other guys. "Hey Steno," I eventually say back. For some reason, Stone becomes flustered as well.

"Let's get to it alright, last song for today." Jeff states and Stone and I immediately part. It is only then that I realise we were still wrapped in each others embrace.

The song goes very smoothly, they only have to do it over once before it's completely done. "Thanks for today, guys. We've really made progress." Jeff tells his bandmates.

I clap as they all cheer at their success and at the new songs. They're all so happy and I can't help but feel so proud of them.

"We couldn't have done it without you, Princess." Stone exclaims before wrapping his arm around my shoulders, "Though you did distract me with your beauty a couple of times." he adds the last sentence in a whisper so that only I can hear it.

I freeze for a second, before I feel myself going as red as ever once again.

The other guys don't seem to notice, or either don't care, Stone's declaration. They all reach for their stuff.

"Well, let's get going now." Matt says while making his way over to the exit. The guys, except for Stone, follow him.

I'm about to walk over to grab my stuff too, when Stone takes ahold of my arm, "Wait a sec, (Y/N). I want to talk to you about something." he says and I nod, getting flustered all over again.

"Make sure to lock the garage, Stone." Jeff says before throwing the keys in Stone's direction, which he catches without any trouble.

The guys are all gone before I can say even as much as 'goodbye' to them. Stone's ruffling through some records in the back of the studio and I decide to head over to him, curious as to what he wants to talk about.

"You wanted to talk?" I ask softly. His head snaps up from the records to meet my eyes.

He puts on a record, which is now playing softly in the background, and moves over to me. Taking ahold of my hands with his, "Eh- yeah I did."

I look at him and gesture for him to go on. When he doesn't go on immediately I gently squeeze his hands for comfort.

"Alright, I'm just gonna say it, 'cause it's been- well, not killing me, but I need to get it out.." he stumbles over his own words and he keeps quiet after.

"It can't be that ba-" I'm cut off by soft lips being placed on mine. I close my eyes immediately, melting under Stone's touch. I move my hands from his to his neck, playing with his hair. I can feel him sigh against my lips. His hands start moving up and down on my sides and eventually come to a still on my waist.

He gently asks permission, with his tongue sliding across my lips, for me to open my mouth. I open my lips and soon his tongues enters my mouth and gently discovers my mouth.

The kiss last for a while and when we part, we're both out of air. I lean my head against Stone's shoulder while he wraps his arms completely around my waist, leaning his head on top of mine and placing a gentle kiss there.

"What I wanted to say is that I like you. And not just as a friend. I like you as so much more than that, (Y/N). All the flirting was just me trying to cover up my feelings by acting like an idiot. But every comment I made, is true. You are a pretty girl, you are a princess to me, and you definitelydid distract me while we were playing the song."

I lean back to finally meet his eyes, "I'm glad you think so, I like you too, Stone. As much more than a friend. And I'm glad you just made the first move, 'cause I'm way too shy for that. I wanted to tell you before, multiple times, but I always seemed to chicken out..."

At that we both chuckle.

Stone leans in once more and our lips connect once more. This time it doesn't last very long, unfortunately.

"Let's go get some dinner, yeah?" he says and I nod, "I'd love to."

Stone offers me his hand as soon as we've both put on our coats and grabbed our stuff. I take it with a smile on my face and move closer to him when we're walking outside, afterStone locks the garage door of course..

I press myself into his side and he laughs at the gesture, but wraps his arm around me nonetheless, placing a loving kiss on my cheek before entering a random restaurant.


	31. First time - Stone Gossard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one shot contains smut

"How long have you been dating now?" Mike asks Stone with a smirk. Stone sighs, "Two months, Mike, but you know that very well so stop asking questions you already know the answer to."

I knew where this conversation was headed. Mike always starts about the fact that Stone and I haven't slept together yet. It's not that we both don't want to, we do. It's just, I've never slept with anyone before and let's just say I'm a tiny bit scared and nervous every time it comes close.

Stone fully understands me and always tells me he'll wait as long as needed. He never makes fun of me either, but I just can't help but feel like I'm letting him down.

"And you two never had sex? God that's just pathetic, guys." and there it is. I've never really paid much attention to his comments, but today is different.

I jump up from where I was sitting on the sofa, quickly throw on my jacket and leave the house within seconds. The voices inside are all scolding Mike for being a dick and I can't help but smile a little at my friends, but I really don't feel like going back in there right now.

A good two hours later, there is a knock on my apartment door. I let out a sigh and walk over to open the door, a duvet loosely hanging around my shoulders. The eyes I'm met with are concerned ones from my boyfriend. "Mike is a dick, don't listen to him and don't let his idiotic words affect you."

Stone always knows just how to make me feel better, he's always been amazing with words. "I know. Just wanted to be alone for a bit, thank you for not following me straight after."

The smile that enters his face is beautiful as he steps closer and wraps his arms around me after closing the door behind him, "I know you, (Y/N). I know you don't appreciate me following you around everywhere, I know you sometimes need some time alone. You underestimate how good I actually know you."

"That's probably true." I kiss his lips and all my sorrows immediately leave my mind. His lips are an even better cure when it comes to my insecurities.

I make the both of us some tea and sit on the other end of the sofa from where Stone is sitting, turning so I'm facing him entirely, our legs tangled in one another's.

My eyes are on Stone and he's just as much staring at me as I am at him. "You're beautiful, (Y/N)." it comes out as a whisper. Even though he says it multiple times a week, the comment always makes me blush. He laughs at how flustered I still get around him and places his teacup on the side-table before crawling over to me and kissing me passionately.

Stone takes the cup I'm holding out of my grasp and places it on the table next to his, never disconnecting our lips. His hands move to my waist and he gently slides me down so I'm lying down on the couch with him hovering above me, his hands now on either side of my body.

I lean up a bit, deepening the kiss. He nibbles on my lower lip before sliding his tongue across my teeth, asking for permission to enter. I open my mouth and meet his tongue halfway.

A small moan escapes my mouth when he bites down on my lip once again, a little harder than before. Stone lets out a low groan at the sound I make and I can feel him completely losing himself.

Make-out sessions like these are so insanely perfect. Stone's always so gentle, never pressuring me into doing anything, but he always knows how to make it sensual and heated, never becoming rough and needy.

Without acknowledging what I'm doing, I buckle my hips up and meet his clothed hard-on. Stone hisses and disconnects our lips to let out a heavy sigh, "If you don't want to continue, you certainly shouldn't do that. I'm afraid I won't be able to contain myself if you do that one more time." he says with a concerned smile on his face.

"I want to continue."

Stone's eyes immediately shoot up to meet mine. "You sure?" I nod and stroke his cheek with my thumb, "I'm ready."

He completely melts under my touch, but quickly captures himself and looks at me with a serious expression, "You're not doing this because of Mike's comment, right?"

I let out a small chuckle and lean up to place my lips against his, "No, not because of Mike's comment. I want this, I want this with you. I want you."

Stone doesn't wait another second before he picks you up and wanders off to your bedroom. Mt shirt is already being discarded somewhere halfway to the room, as well as his own shirt.

When he reaches the bed, he gently puts me down and places another passionate kiss on my lips. "You really, really sure?"

"Yes, Stone. Really, really sure. Now continue, you're ruining my mood."

Laughter escapes our lips, "Yes ma'am, I'm on it." But as soon as his kisses travel down my body, I feel the nerves catching on.

Stone's eyes are on your face and he notices the frightened look. His lips leave your skin just when he's on the waistband of your jeans. That's when he lifts his face, you do the same and your eyes meet his, "There's no need to be scared, baby. I'll stop whenever you want me to, alright?"

I nod, "I know, it's just all a bit much at once."

"I understand, but there's not one reason why you should be scared or ashamed. I love you. Just relax."

His words are enough to comfort me at least a little. I send him an assuring smile, telling him I'm ready to continue. He reattaches his lips to my skin and swiftly, but gently, reaches for the button and zipper of my jeans, sliding them down after they're undone.

A small shiver goes up my spine, but it's immediately replaced by a wave of new nerves when Stone presses small, slightly wet, kisses on the inside of my thighs. I let out a deep sigh, trying to control my nerves. Stone continues the kisses and uses his hands to once again helps me out of a piece of clothing by sliding down my panties.

It's only when he starts placing kisses just below my belly when I realise I'm now completely naked in front of him.

One of Stone's arms reaches up and he places his hand gently on my belly, "Remember to tell me when to stop."

I nod once again, not able to form words. He takes it as a sign to continue and lowers himself between myself legs, placing quick kisses around my core. He presses his lips against my clit, earning a small moan from me. His eyes never leave me face, and when our eyes meet for a split second, he starts sliding his tongue through my folds.

"Oh god." I hiss at the contact, completely accepting the feeling of his tongue on my private parts. Stone smiles against me and does it again, earning yet another encouraging sound from me.

His free hand moves from beside my body to where his face is, only a tad bit higher, coming on contact with the area around my clit. His thumb starts tracing small circles around it, rubbing against my clit in the process.

The effect Stone is having on me is incredible. I can definitely say I have never felt this good. And that idea keeps playing around in my head, increasing every time Stone does something new. Entering his tongue inside me, for example, has me moaning his name rather loudly. When he retreats his tongue and enters a finger inside me, still rubbing my clit with his thumb, I start moaning even louder.

"Ready for another one?" Stone asks, his voice lacing with hungriness. I can tell he's incredibly turned on by what's all happening in front of him, especially since it's his actions that have me like they have me right now.

I look him straight in his eyes, "Yeah."

He lifts himself up to kiss me before entering a second finger inside me, pumping them gently in and out.

He goes on like that for a while, rubbing my clit and pumping his fingers, eventually three, in and out of me. "Stone, I'm gonna- I think-"

My words encourage Stone to go harder and not much later my come soaks his hand entirely. "Sweet fucking jesus, why did I never let you do that before?"

The laugh that escapes Stone's lips make me realise I just said that out loud, causing myself to let out laughter too. Stone moves up and now hovers above, looking into my eyes with a goofy smile, yet there's still a hungry look in his eyes. "Don't worry babe, we can make up for lost time." And his lips are on mine within a second, "Get off me." I whisper against his lips.

The look he gives me is one of confusion and it makes me laugh a bit more. "Just get off and lay down." A smirks enters his face as he processes the words.

I help him switch positions, pushing him down on the bed with a smile on my face. All my nerves from before had completely left my mind, but I can't help but feel a bit nervous for what I'm about to do. What if I do it wrong?a voice keeps saying in my mind. I just try to push the thought away and go back to what I am about to do.

My hands roam Stone's body as I kiss him, stopping at the waistband of his pants, fiddling a bit with his button and zipper before they're undone. I look him in the eyes, disconnecting our lips. He notices the nervousness in my eyes and puts his hand on my cheek, stroking it gently with his thumb, "Don't be unsure."

Even though they're just three simple words, I know he's completely honest about them. I lower myself, sliding his pants, along with his boxers, all at once, down. He moves his legs a little to help me with getting them off completely.

My eyes meet his cock and my breath hitches for a second, he's pretty huge. I send a quick glance to Stone, who's watching me in awe, before taking his cock in my hand.

I slowly pump up and down, earning an encouraging hiss from Stone. When I look up I see his eyes are closed and his head is pressed against the mattress.

After a bit of just using one hand, my other hand reaches for his balls and I start to gently massage them. "Ah- god that feels good, (Y/N)." Stone exclaims.

The sounds that leave his mouth are enough for me to get the confidence boost I need. I move my head towards his cock and give it a lick, the pre-cum already leaking from the tip. Without waiting for as much as a sound from Stone, I wrap my lips around his cock and start sucking him off. Moving my head up and down while massaging his balls.

"Babe- god- I'm gonna come soon." Stone chokes out. My eyes look up, meeting his expression. I know he's only warning me in case I don't want him to come inside my mouth, but that's exactly what I want him to do. I give him a small nod, letting him know I've heard him, but continue my actions nonetheless, even harder so than before.

Stone releases himself inside me, spilling the sour liquid down my throat. I swallow as much as possible, pumping his cock a couple more times and sucking it up one last time before taking him out of my mouth.

The pants leaving Stone's mouth are similar to how I felt just minutes before. "You," Stone speaks up, placing his hands on my waist to hoist me up, "keep surprising me with how amazing you are. Every. Damn. Day."

I smile at his sweet words and press my lips against his. The kiss soon becomes heated and he makes sure we switch positions once again, him hovering above me once more. Without any warning, Stone moves his hand down and starts rubbing my clit once again. It doesn't take him long to get me soaking wet and he can feel it.

He positions himself between my legs, his cock teasing my entrance, before he looks at me, "Ready?"

I only nod and kiss his lips. That's when I feel something slowly entering me. The pain enters my core and I hiss at the contact, Stone immediately stops moving, letting me adjust to his size. As soon as I'm all adjusted to his size halfway in, I give him an assuring smile. He places a quick peck on my lips before focusing back on pushing his cock further inside.

It hurts, but this time I don't stop him, not wanting to ruin the moment. Well he's fully inside, Stone lets out a grunt, "Phew, you're fucking tight."

We both adjust to the feeling of our bodies becoming one before Stone starts moving back and back inside again, starting his thrust slow and gentle. He soon picks up the pace and when he starts rubbing my clit again, he has me a moaning and whimpering mess, screaming out his name as my orgasm hits me, my come coating his cock. The image of me coming in front of him with his cock inside me sends Stone over the edge, filling my insides.

He bows down to place a lingering kiss on my lips, slowly pulling himself out of me whenever we've both rode off our highs.

The bed creaks a bit when Stone collapses next to me, letting out a huge, satisfied, sigh. "That was amazing." I speak up before Stone can. He turns his head to face me and matches my smile. "You're amazing."


	32. Surprise? - Chris Cornell

"(Y/N)! It's so good to see you! What are you doing here?" Matt says while running up to me and almost tackling me with a massive bear-hug. 

I laugh and hug him back, "I came to surprise y'all."

Matt finally releases me from his grasp and gives me a smirk, "Yeah, sure. You're not even just here for Chris?"

I nudge his arm, "Of course I'm here for Chris. But it's good to see you guys as well. I've genuinely missed you."

Matt gives me another hug before letting me go to greet the others.

We're in a club around the corner of the venue where they, Soundgarden, just performed their show.

As soon as I've reached the others, I realise there's one person missing; my boyfriend. He's always around the guys, where is he?

"Hey boys!" I say and give each of them a hug. They all greet me back. "Does anyone know where Chris is?" I ask and they all shake their heads. Great.

I tell the boys I'm off to look for Chris, but not before ordering a beer. I leave the bar and make my way through the crowded room.

A long 20 minutes go by and I still haven't found Chris. I must say it's starting to annoy me a bit; I take tomorrow off from work so I can be here with Chris and when I arrive after a good three hour drive he's nowhere to be seen.

"Still haven't found him?" Kim asks when he hands me another beer. He must've figured I could use another one when he saw me standing beside the dance floor, looking for a certain person.

I shake my head, "I've had every fucking corner of this place, where is he hiding?"

"I'll go take a look in the restroom. Gotta take a piss anyways, so might as well use the opportunity to help you out." he says with a wink and leaves me behind to go for a piss. 

Kim returns a couple of minutes later, "Sorry (Y/N), haven't seen him."

I nod and tell him I'll go for another round in the club.

After another 10 minutes I finally find him. Though I'm not sure I wanted to find him in this state. Hell, I'm definitely sure I never wanted to find him like this. His mouth and tongue all over some chick's face.

As I realise what's happening I feel the beer sliding from my grip and there's a loud noise when it reaches the ground. Glass clattering all over the place.

Chris finally removes himself from the girl and turns to see what all the noise is. When he sees me standing in front of him, he immediately takes a step away from the girl.

"(Y/N)?" 

It's too late for him to explain himself. I turn around and start running towards the exit. In the distance I hear the other guys calling my name, but I don't respond.

I really don't know how to react or where to go. I just make sure to leave the club. When I'm outside I take a turn left and whenever I reach a small alley I stop immediately.

I hear a few voices calling my name but, again, I don't respond. I need to be alone for a short while. To process the fact that I've just witnessed my boyfriend cheating on me.

Tears slowly make their way down my face and I feel myself sliding down to the ground with my back against the brick wall. "How could he?" I whisper to myself.

I sincerely never expected him, after three years of being together, to cheat on me. The thought of him cheating on me never even occurred to me. Chris is always so sweet and what people call 'the perfect boyfriend' and 'the perfect son-in-law'.

Minutes, maybe even hours, pass. I don't even know how long I'm sitting there. In a dark alley on the ground, crying my eyes out. Until someone (finally) finds me.

"There you are! Jeez we've been looking for you for a long time, (Y/N)!" the voice from Matt comes from beside me. 

"Leave me alone, I need to be alone." I tell him, sniffing loudly. 

Matt comes closer and hugs me from the side, "Chris told me what happened. I know he did an awful thing, but you can't stay here forever. Come with me to the hotel." Matt offers.

I nod, since he's right about the fact that I can't stay here forever. I get up and when we reach the hotel lobby I'm met with the one I really DON'T want to see right now.

"Babe-" Chris starts while making his way over to me. Matt already carefully left me be and told me he was gonna grab a drink from the bar in the hotel. 

"Don't fucking 'babe' me, Chris." I snap, tears beginning to fall down again.

"Let me explain.." he says, but I don't wanna hear it.

I look up to meet his gaze; my eyes are filled with angry tears, Chris's eyes are filled with guilt.

"What the hell is there to explain?! You just cheated on me, I saw it with my own fucking eyes! I came here to surprise you, you know. Because I missed you so dearly." I yell. Some people in the lobby are giving me sympathetic looks. "It seems you missed me very much as well." I sarcastically add.

Chris takes a step closer to me, which makes me take a step back.

"I have missed you, (Y/N)! So fucking much! I've missed you more than anything, believe me!" 

I scoff, "I really got the impression you did, especially when I saw you with your tongue all the way down that chick's throat."

"It was a mistake! I made a mistake!" Chris desperately tries, tears forming in his eyes. 

The sight of Chris crying, makes me wanna cry so hard again. But as he said: he made mistake. A big one at it. "You should've thought of that when you were in the middle of cheating on me."

Never had I been so angry and sad at the same time. I really don't want to lose Chris, but I can't let him get away with it too easy. Not that I'm doing this for fun, I am genuinely very fucking angry. What would you be after finding your boyfriend cheating on you when you came to surprise him?

"I did, though! I did think of you when I was kissing her."

This makes me laugh. How could he possibly think of me while kissing some other girl.

"I'm not gonna blame it on the alcohol, but I had one too many drinks and when that girl came up to me, for a second I thought it was you, (Y/N). That's why I so happily agreed to kiss her. I really thought I was kissing you, the love of my life. That's you, (Y/N). You're the love of my life. But when I turned around and I saw you standing there, I realised I fucked up big time."

Part of me really wants to end this shit and just kiss him already. I've missed him so fucking much. But the other part of me it too fucking angry. Though his story sounds so cheesy, I still kind of believe it. Chris never did anything to hurt me, so why would he now?

"Is it true?" I ask.

Chris takes a step closer again, only this time I don't back away.

"It really is, please believe me!" he begs. 

More and more tears are making their way down my face. I've never been in this position and it hurts so damn much. The only thing I can think of is forgiving him, because I need him. I need Chris.

"I love you, Chris. But don't ever do that again." I quietly say, removing my gaze from the ground to meet his. His face is all tear-stained as well.

He grabs my face in his hands, "I will never, I promise, ever, do something to hurt you again. I won't be able to live without you, so I'll most definitely won't lose you. This was too close a call to losing you."

I nod slowly. Chris brushes his thumb against my lips before bringing his lips down to meet mine. He kisses me with so much passion and it makes my knees get all sloppy.

He breaks the kiss and looks me deeply in my eyes.

"I love you, but I'm still mad at you." I say with a sly smile. 

He chuckles, "I know you are, but you're still coming with me." he says while grabbing my hand and slurring me up to his hotel room.


	33. Drunk - Chris Cornell

"Come on, Chris!" I yell, pulling on my boyfriend's arm. I've been trying to get him out of this damn club for the past 20 minutes, with no success. 

He sniggers, "You're so funny, babe."

I love him, but he can be so annoying when he's drunk. It's like he's a child again. "Chris don't be so annoying. Just come home with me."

The guys he's with start laughing at my attempts to get Chris out of there. The fact that they're just as drunk doesn't help the situation.

Suddenly Chris shifts all his body weight on me. I can barely hold him, but then I fell a pair of hands helping me. Chris' head snaps up with an angry expression. "Get your hands off of my girl, man."

I turn my head to see Eddie standing beside me, making sure Chris doesn't fall again. "Shut it, Chris. He's only helping me 'cause you're being an annoying ass." I snap, getting very annoyed with Chris. He should know his limits, but he doesn't.

"Take him home with you, then." Chris says, his drunken state very noticeable. 

I scoff. "Get yourself together, Chris. This is your last chance to come home with me. If you don't come now I'll leave you here and you can figure out yourself how you're getting home.

Eddie, who's still standing beside me, is definitely taken aback by Chris' comment about him and I.

Chris doesn't say a word and just laughs drunkenly. "Alright, I'll see you." I say and let him go, which causes him to almost lose balance and trip, but Eddie catches him.

"Come on, dude. Don't be such a prick. Just go home with her, she's only doing it for your own good." I hear Eddie say while I'm making my way towards the exit of the club.

When I'm standing outside, I realise we came here with Matt. But Matt's already gone home, so I guess it'll be a walk home.

"Need a ride?" a voice behind me asks. I turn to see Eddie with Chris all over him standing there. 

I chuckle at the sight: A tall man with his weight all over a fairly small man.

"That'd be great, thanks Ed." I say and help him to get Chris in the backseat of his car. I sit beside Chris, in case he needs something, or something goes wrong. 

He's probably realised he was being an ass, 'cause his expression isn't the same as before. He's suddenly pretty serious.

"I'm sorry for my behaviour, (Y/N)." he says with his gaze fixed on the ground.

I shrug it off, not really in the mood to talk to him any longer.

Chris turns to face me, "I shouldn't have gone so far. I should've listened to you when you first told me it was enough."

I finally snap my head up to meet his gaze, all the frustration and anger coming out. "But you didn't, Chris. It's always like this. You should learn to control yourself and if you can't do that, at least listen to me when I tell you it's enough. You always apologise afterwards, but I'm done with all the apologies. If you are always so sorry about it, why don't you change something about it?"

He looks down again and whispers, "I don't know."

All the emotions are getting to me too quickly and a tear escapes from my eye. Right at that moment Chris looks at me, guilt all over his drunk face.

"Babe, don't cry." he says and scoots closer, but I push him back. 

"Don't Chris, not now. Not while you're in this state."

I notice Eddie giving me an apologetic look in the rearviewmirror, but he keeps his mouth shut. Suddenly a thought occurs to me and it flops out of my mouth before I can really think about it, "You should try and be like Eddie a bit more. He's always so kind and he doesn't get drunk all the time."

I look up and, even though he's still drunk, I can see the disbelief in Chris' eyes. "You want me to be someone else?" he asks.

I shake my head, "I didn't mean it like that. I meant that you can also stay sober when you're in the club, like Eddie. I like you so much better when you're sober. I'm getting sick of you when you're drunk and if you can't remember it clearly, that's been every fucking evening this week."

The realisation hits Chris like a bus and suddenly he sobers up a bit, as if one cue. As if he realises he should be sober. He scoots closer, but this time I don't find the strength in me to push him away.

"I'm so sorry, (Y/N). I really didn't realise it affected you so much and I should've listened to you. I promise I will change, for you. 'Cause I love you and I can't lose you." 

I look up slowly to look him in the eyes, I didn't realise he was actually scared to lose me. I didn't even think of leaving him.

"You won't lose me, Chris, I'd just really appreciate it if you would get drunk less often and spend more time with me." 

He nods, "I will, babe."

He moves his head closer and kisses me softly. I've missed his lips on mine so badly. The kiss soon becomes more passionate and eventually it gets very heated in the back of Eddie's car.

Chris puts one hand on my back and it goes up under my shirt. The feeling of his hands all over me turns me on so much.

But, before anything more could happen, Eddie slams on the breaks and tells us we've arrived at our stop. He's quite embarrassed about the fact that something almost happened, but we laugh it off.

"Thanks for the ride, Ed. And also for making Chris come back with us." I tell him before hugging him. "It's no big deal, just don't ever do that in the back of my car again." he laughs.

Chris and I make our way into our small apartment and before heading to bed, we take a nice hot shower together.


	34. Lazy day - Chris Cornell

Today is my first day off in three weeks. Chris just got back from touring for two months, so today is the first day we both have a day off in god knows how long.

"Morning," I whisper to Chris. 

We're both still in bed. Chris is facing the ceiling, lying on his back and I am facing Chris, lying on my right side.

"Morning, babe." Chris answers in that very sexy, husky, morning voice. His eyes are still closed as he turns to face me. 

When he opens his eyes I'm met with his beautiful eyes for the first time in a long while. "I've missed you." he says when he finally opens his eyes.

I put my left hand softly on his right cheek and begin stroking it lightly, "I've missed you too, more than anything."

Chris melts under my touch, "I'm very happy you've got the day off. I can't wait to spend the day with you. It's been forever since we had a whole day to ourselves."

I nod, "You're right. I'm happy you're back."

We just stay there in this position for a bit before I decide it's time to get out. Chris stays in a bit longer, 'cause he hasn't had much sleep. I get ready after taking a quick shower and head into the kitchen as soon as I'm all done.

Chris must've fallen asleep again, 'cause I can hear him snoring lightly. The sound makes me chuckle, I've always found it so adorable. He always keeps denying he snores, but I know the truth and I love it.

After preparing breakfast for both of us, I walk into our bedroom. "Honey, I made us breakfast."

Chris hums, but doesn't move. I walk up to him and kiss his cheek. "Come on, Chris. The toast is getting cold." I say as I nudge him.

He grunts, but gets up nonetheless. I chuckle and leave him be, for he will come into the kitchen himself. I pour us both a hot cup of tea; I made this a tradition for us, since I'm originally from England and I couldn't resist taking some of the English culture with me to Seattle. A couple of minutes later Chris arrives, still half asleep, wearing plain shorts and an old Beatles shirt he once got from my dad.

"Don't you look awake." I snigger and Chris starts chuckling.

He playfully shoves me, "It's been a while since I've got some decent sleep. Let me be."

We both take our seats at the dining table and slowly eat our breakfast, just enjoying being together again.

"What do you want to do today?" Chris asks me while we're cleaning the dishes and tidying the rest of the stuff we used.

I think for a second before an idea comes in mind. "How about you go take a nice, long, hot shower and while you're doing so I'll go to the videotheque and hire some good films?"

A smile spreads across his face and he nods. "That sounds amazing, (Y/N). You really are too good to be true, you know that?"

I walk up to him and give him a hug, "I'm not, but I'm glad you still think so."

We finish cleaning and afterwards I leave our tiny house and Chris leaves for the bathroom to take a shower.

During my walk to the videotheque I run into someone familiar. "Layne! hey!" I yell as I see him walking a few feet in front of me.

He turns and smiles at me when he sees me, "(Y/N)! How are you? Haven't seen you for so long!"

We catch up while making our way towards the mall. It's so nice to be able to catch up with my friends. Especially after such a long time of not being around them. There was a time when all of us, the Soundgarden guys and girlfriends, The Alice guys and girlfriends and the guys of Pearl Jam and girlfriends, used to be around each other almost 24/7 a day. I'm not saying I want to go back to that, 'cause eventually it was just too much of the good stuff. But it would be nice to see them more often than once every two or three months.

After saying good bye to Layne I go to the videotheque and hire a couple good movies.

When I get back home, I notice Chris made sure the living room was all cosy with the curtains closed and some dimmed lights on. He made some snacks for later and got a couple of very soft blankets out for us.

I smile at the sight of it, "Babe, I'm back!" I yell and Chris appears from out the hall.

"I like what you've done with the place." I say and walk up to him to kiss him softly. He smiles under the kiss, "I couldn't let it be casual. It's a special day.." 

In fact, It is a special day. It's our six-year anniversary. Chris probably thinks I forgot, but how wrong he is about that. I don't let anything notice, though. I want to surprise him.

As we're both cosy in our spots after I've turned on the tv and put in the DVD of Four Weddings and a Funeral (I know, I love my British classics.), I pause the movie eve before it's started.

Chris looks at me puzzled, "What are you doing?"

I smile and get up, not telling him anything. I leave the room and go to our spare room; a room we actually never use, but it's a very good place to hide presents.

I walk back into the living room with a huge guitar-case in my hand. Chris turns and his jaw drops. "You didn't think I forgot our anniversary, did you?" I chuckle.

Chris gets up and makes his way over to where I'm standing. "Are you crazy? You shouldn't have done this!"

"You haven't even opened it yet, how can you know what it is?" I say, still trying to act like it's not obvious that its a guitar. I hand Chris the present and tell him to open it.

He opens it and when he sees which guitar it is, his jaw drops even lower. In the case is an olive green Gibson Memphis ES-335, a guitar Chris has been wanting ever since I know him, but never got the chance to buy.

His gaze moves from the guitar to me and I can see he's really touched. "(Y/N) I don't know what to say. This is more than perfect, but I can't except this."

I smile at him, "Well, you have to, I lost the receipt."

His expression finally changes and a huge smile, bigger than ever, enters his face. He puts down the guitar carefully and comes to me.

He kisses me with so much love and hugs me very tight afterwards, "Thank you so much, baby. I love you more than anything on this whole wide world. Even more than that guitar you just gave me."

His last comment makes us both laugh. I kiss his cheek, "I love you too. Have fun with it. Make sure to make some good music with it." I say and wink at him.

"Oh I sure will." he chuckles. 

Chris makes sure the guitar is carefully placed back into the case and while I take my seat on the couch again, he ruffles through a drawer somewhere in our living room.

He takes his spot next to me, but instead of turning his attention to the tv, he turns it to me.

"Of course, I would only be a good boyfriend if I got you something as well." he says while handing me a small box.

I slowly unwrap it from the paper and open it carefully. Now it's my turn to drop my jaw.

Inside is the most beautiful neckless I've ever seen. I look at it for a while without saying anything.

"Do you like it?" Chris asks softly, afraid he's bought something wrong.

"Are you insane?! It's the most beautiful I've ever seen Chris! I love it so much!" I say before hugging him as tightly as he just hugged me a couple of minutes earlier.

He chuckles, "I'm glad you like it. I really didn't know what to get you, then I came across this and I just knew it was the one thing."

I turn around and Chris places the neckless softly around my neck. "You look beautiful." he says whenever I turn back to face him again.

I look down at the neckless, "Thank you Chris, I really love it."

After what seems like an eternity of thanking each other and telling each other how much we love each other, we finally start the film again.

After the second film Chris and I are both quite done with sitting on our asses. So we decide to go for a walk.

We walk with our hands intertwined the whole time. The only thing crossing my mind is how lucky I am. Chris and I were both scared things wouldn't work out between us because of the tours with Soundgarden and because of my busy work schedule. But I'm happier than ever that things did work out. I wouldn't know what to do without him.

After about 20 minutes, we get back home. I don't know what happened in those twenty minutes, but something definitely changed our mood. From sweet and tender to hungry in some sort of way.

Chris closes the door behind is and doesn't waist more time then necessary to pin me against the wall. His hands are all over me, as well as his mouth. First he kisses me on my lips, but soon they're everywhere but on my lips.

"Chris" I moan softly, "Up." 

Chris doesn't need to hear it twice. He lifts me up and takes me upstairs to our bedroom, his lips never leaving my skin.

We make it to the bedroom in no-time. Chris puts me down on the bed and starts undressing me quickly.

Were both completely undressed when Chris gets on top of me, now also on the bed. You could say we're both to hungry for more to do some sort of playing before, 'cause Chris enters me and the rest is all just euphoria.

The next day I wake up I feel someone looking at me. I turn my head and see Chris is staring at me.

"It's rude to stare at people, especially when they're asleep." I mumble, still half asleep.

He starts chuckling, "I'm sorry love, I couldn't help myself."

I scoot a bit closer to him and snuggle up to him. His arms wrapping around me and my head resting on his chest.

This is something I never want to end. These days with Chris. These are the days I live for.


	35. Rehab - Chris Cornell

"So you never realised until now?" Kane, my best friend, who also happens to be my brother, asks me. 

I shake my head, "I never did. The thought never even occurred to me, until now."

"Do you think he knows?" he asks.

I shake my head again.

"Does he feel the same?" he goes on.

I look up with a worried expression, something else I never though about before. "I don't know." I whisper.

"Well, this is just great." Kane chuckles, not really knowing what else to do. I've never really talked to him about my love-life. I mean, there are boundaries after all. 

Kane and I just sit there for a while. Him thinking about god knows what and me thinking about how I can continue my life without messing things up with Chris.

Chris and I have been friends forever. It all started even before Soundgarden. It's been a while since Soundgarden split, three years have passed already.

"Is he still in rehab?" Kane suddenly breaks the silence. 

I shake my head once again. "He's been out for a couple of months now." I smile, I'm so proud of him for making it all the way to being completely clean now.

During his time in rehab we got closest. I was one of the few who actually came to visit him and he always let me know how much he appreciated it.

We got along better and better and now we're inseparable. That was, until I realised how deeply I've fallen for him. I ditched him tonight to see and talk to my brother in the need of advice.

We didn't have big plans for tonight though. He would just come over to chill and probably watch a movie. But I told him my brother asked me to come over and said it was urgent. He seemed to buy it, even though my acting skills are worse than Dick van Dyke's British accent.

"Why don't you just tell him?" Kane brings me back to planet earth.

I laugh at him,

"What?" he gives me a weird look.

"You're serious?" I suddenly ask with a serious face and he nods.

The though of telling Chris makes me crawl into a corner already. I can't tell him, what if I mess up our friendship? What if he thinks I'm a fool? What if, what if..

"You'll never know if you don't drop at least a small hint." Kane says, noticing my worried expression.

I know he's right, but I'm just too scared. Chris is not known for having an interest in girls like me. The girls he likes are usually pretty tanned and they always have brown hair. That's exactly the opposite of what I look like: I've got a pale skin and blonde hair.

Besides that he probably isn't in the mood for a relationship. He told me, just weeks ago, that he was happy to be single.

That thought scares me ever more.

Kane tells me he needs to go 'cause he needs to pick up his son from school. I tell him it's alright and that I will talk to Chris. He's right, I need to face it sooner or later.

The next day I call Chris the ask if he's free.

"Yeah, want me to pick you up? We can buy some food and have a picnic in the park." 

I tell him it sounds like a great idea and before I know it Chris is knocking on my door.

"Hey you." he says with his usual smile.

Though I can't return it this time. I'm too insecure about what I'm gonna tell him later. "Hey" I say softly.

I'm sure Chris notices something's wrong, but he stays silent about it, fortunately.

It takes us only 15 minutes to buy some snacks and lunch. As we arrive in the park, we quickly take a spot in a quiet place. We're both not really in the mood to be disturbed by fans who recognise Chris.

"Are you ok? You seem off.." Chris asks after we've unpacked the stuff and took a seat on the blanket Chris took with him.

I nod, "I'm alright. There's just been something on my mind and I can't leave it alone." I say honestly. I can try and lie about it how much I want, but Chris knows me even better than my brother; he knows when I'm not telling him the truth.

"Wanna talk about it?" he says while handing me a soda. We decided to stay off the alcohol for a while, for our own good. 

I shake my head, "Not just yet, later."

Chris nods and I start making us some sandwiches.

A couple of people pass us, fortunately without noticing who is sitting next to me. Some young couples as well, they chuckle a bit. It must be a funny scene to see two adults, like Chris and I, having a picnic. But for us it's normal, a tradition, we always go to the park to picnic.

I get lost in thought again. I think about Chris and about what I should say and how I should tell him. But I can't think of anything that doesn't make me shit my pants.

"You wanna talk about it now?" Chris speaks up, bringing me back to the picnic. 

I look up at him with worry in my eyes, "Yeah, ehm- sure."

Chris gestures for me to talk and gets a bit more comfortable, whereas I sit up more straight than before. It's something I always do when I'm about to say something serious that scares the hell out of me.

"Well.." I start, not really knowing what to say.

"I recently found out about something and it scared the hell out of me 'cause I don't know how to tell you and I don't want to let this ruin our friendship or something and I'm just not sure if I should even tell you but I guess I have to now 'cause you're probably all curious now and I don't know I'm rambling.."

Chris starts laughing, "You were definitely rambling, calm down Mia. You can tell me everything, you know that. Don't be so afraid, nothing will ruin our friendship. I love you, you also know that."

My head snaps up and I notice Chris has scooted closer to me.

"That's just it.." I whisper and look down again. 

"What?"

I say nothing, really not knowing if I should tell him.

"Mia, what's just it?" he says and places one of his hands on top of mine, the contact sends shivers through my entire body.

"I love you too, Chris."

He smiles when I look up again.

"But not the way you love me."

His smile changes into confusion. "What do you mean?"

It takes another while for me to gain some confidence to finally say it out loud.

"I love you Chris. No- I am in love with you."

His eyes never leave mine. It's quite for a while and I expect him to start packing his things and leave me right there and then, but he doesn't.

"How are you so sure that I don't love you in the same way?" he speaks up.

Now it's my time to be confused. "What?"

"I love you too, Mia. And yes, I am also in love with you. I guess we were both just too damn stubborn, scared or shy to confess anything to each other." he chuckles lightly.

I can't believe what I'm hearing. I expected everything but this reaction from him.

Before I can ask him if he's completely serious he places his other hand lightly on my face and moves his lips closer.

I don't know why, but my mind still thinks this might be the only opportunity for me to kiss him, even though it's probably not, so I move forward as well and meet him halfway.

Chris kisses me passionately and shows me actually really does love me. That's when it really gets to me. He was sincere about it, he wasn't lying, he loves me, just like I love him.

He breaks the kiss and we both gasp for air. He looks me deeply in my eyes and a huge smile, bigger than ever, enters his face. I start smiling as well, for the first time in 24 hours.

"Let me do this properly, then." Chris suddenly says, breaking our intense moment. 

He takes my hand and kisses it softly, "Mia, do you want to go on a date with me?"

I nod and chuckle. He can be so goofy sometimes.

"Alright, then I'll bring you back home now so you can get ready and I'll go home as well so I can get ready as well and then I'll pick you up at 7 for our first official date as a couple." 

I smile and nod at him throughout his whole sentence, but stop as soon as he says the word 'couple', I stop breathing for a second.

"A couple?" I stutter. Chris smile never fades.

"Yes, a couple." 

"So you want us to be together?" 

"Of course I want us to be together, don't you?" he adds with a smirk, exactly knowing what I want, just enjoying my awkwardness.

"Yes! Yes of course I do! It's just, I'm not good with this stuff, you of all people know that."

Chris starts laughing, "I know, Mia. I was just messing with you. But I'd like us be together, for real. I want you to be my girlfriend, as they call it. I want to be your boyfriend."

"Well, I like the idea of that. It sounds appealing." I say, finally relaxing and processing everything that's just said. 

"Let's go and get ready for our date then, girlfriend." he says while standing up.

I laugh, "Alright, boyfriend. Let's go."


	36. Interest - Chris Cornell

"They're as good as ever, aren't they?" Dave asks me. I hum in agreement, not really paying attention to what he said.

My attention is somewhere else. Well, it is also on stage but not necessarily on the whole band and how they're playing. Let's say one of the guys on stage caught my attention.

Chris has always been the one who caught my attention, but I never thought anything of it. I just think he's an interesting man.

I suddenly snap back to reality when his eyes meet mine for a brief second. I don't know why I feel so embarrassed, but I do. Chris just caught me staring at him, but I doubt if he makes a big deal out of it, his attention is probably just fixed on performing right now. There are so many faces fixed on him, I'm definitely not the only one.

"(Y/N), come here! Help me with those drinks." Eddie calls from behind me.

I turn, my eyes having a hard time leaving Chris's figure. "What's up with the drinks?" I ask Eddie when I reach him.

He tells me the guys of Pearl Jam wanted to do a little something for the Soundgarden guys, so they bought some good booze and snacks. I notice they already made a whole lounge backstage where we can sit. "Nice idea." I tell him and I start helping him with the stuff that still needs to get inside.

The show is over before I realise and the guys from Soundgarden and Pearl Jam are all backstage. First, I'm the only girl of the group, but soon enough Matt and Kim are accompanied by some beautiful girls from the crowd.

Another girl walks up to our group and tries to get Chris' attention, but he doesn't bother to even look at her. She finally leaves, to my satisfaction, and We all go into the lounge.

Everyone grabs a drink and takes a seat. Me being me am I always the last one to take a seat. This time there isn't one left, though. Chris sees what's going on and moves on the couch to make place for me. He calls my name and pats the space next to him.

I feel myself blushing and I really hope no one notices.

I walk up to Chris and take the seat next to him. I've never been this close to him and it makes me nervous as hell.

We all talk and laugh and everybody's having a great time. Me as well, I love these moments with the guys, but there is something bothering me. Well, not exactly bothering, it's just that there is something making me even more nervous than I already was.

It's the fact that I feel Chris watching me the whole time, as if no one else is in the room. I'm starting to feel very self-conscious and it makes me very uncomfortable.

"Like what you see, Cornell?" Cameron suddenly says and both Chris and my head snap up and I feel myself going red.

Chris chuckles awkwardly, "Yeah, uh-" he doesn't know what to say. I look at Chris and see he's also blushing.

Why is he blushing?

I place my beer down and stand up from the couch.

"Where are you going?" Chris asks.

"I just need to pee, Chris. Am I allowed to go?" I laugh, trying to get rid of the awkwardness.

He nods with a smile, "Yeah, sorry, 'course."

I make my way towards the toilet and do my thing. When I'm done I wash my hands and leave the bathroom. But I stop walking when I see a familiar figure standing outside of the bathrooms.

"Chris? You waiting for someone? I can tell you, there wasn't anyone else in there." I say and he starts chucking.

"I was waiting for someone yeah, for you." As he says 'you' he looks up and meets my eyes again. Gosh those damn eyes of his.

"Oh." 

"Yeah."

"What for?"

"Do you wanna go out with me sometime?"

I feel my jaw drop.

"I know it sounds lame and I'm probably acting like a high-school kid or something, but I just really wanna go out with you and get to know you better, 'cause I came to the conclusion that I actually can't stop thinking about you."

It's such an adorable sight: Chris Cornell asking me out and being all nervous and rambling like a young boy.

"I'd love to, Chris. I thought it was quite obvious that I'm interested in you."

Now it's Chris turn to drop his jaw. But he regains himself quickly and turns into his confident self again.

"So you won't mind if I kiss you, then?"

If I wasn't nervous yet, I definitely am now.

"Oh, ehm- yeah, I guess.."

Chris laughs at my nervousness and takes a step closer before putting his hands on my cheeks and brushing it with his right thumb, "There's no need to be nervous, (Y/N)." he smiles.

"Yeah, alright." I go on stuttering.

"Just relax."

"I'll try, it's just- that.."

"What? You can tell me."

"I've never been kissed before...?"

Chris' eyes widen. "How's that possible? You're so beautiful, any guy would want to hold and kiss you."

"I'm glad you think so." I say, smiling to myself. No one's ever called me beautiful except for my mum.

Chris and I look in each others eyes in silence. I guess this is the moment. His head comes closer and closer and he eventually closes his eyes. I do the same and his lips meet mine in a delicate kiss.

If I'd known kissing someone felt this good, I'd have tried a bitter harder before. But then again, it would never have been Chris to kiss me for the first time and I don't think I want it any other way than it is right now.

We go on kissing for a while before we're both in the need of air.

"I liked that." I say and Chris smiles. 

"I'm glad you did, 'cause that won't be the last time I'm gonna do it." he says and winks at me before grabbing my hand and intertwining our fingers while walking back to the rest of the group.


	37. Crush - Chris Cornell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one shot contains smut

"You're doing it again, darling." Lina comments, snapping me out of my intense gaze. All the heat rushes to my cheeks and I can feel myself getting a tomato shade of red.

Lina chuckles and nudges me playfully, "When are you ever gonna tell him?"

My eyes snap up to meet hers, "Are you insane? Never, obviously..."

She shakes her head and gets up to get some drinks. We're at Chris' house, along with a lot of other people. It's his birthday tonight and Chris wouldn't miss any chance at giving a party. So here we are, attending his party.

The 'funny' thing is, I've been wanting to leave this place ever since I set foot in it. I just can't function around many people and this house is crowded. Okay, maybe that's not the main reason, but it's definitely a reason. The main reason is that I can't stand Chris flirting with multiple people and some girls practically throwing themselves at him.

It just hurts, seeing him like that. His attention at everyone, but me. We've been friends for a long time now, Lina being his neighbor and me being Lina's best friend.

Our first meeting was rather funny, actually.

"Just, please open the door, won't you? He's not as bad as I always say." Lina tells me from her position in the bathroom.

I'm currently sitting on the couch, considering if I should open for the ass who's Lina's neighbor. It's not that I know him personally, it's just that he's always loud, with everything, and I don't like loud people.

"Alright, alright, I'm on my way..."

It's a short walk to the door and when I reach it, I open it, curious to see who the guy next door is.

I freeze as soon as my eyes land on his form. He's goddamn gorgeous. I can't help but stare at him, those eyes, jesus.

"Hi, ehm, you don't live here, do ya?" the guy asks, snapping me out of my gaze. I shake my head, "Nope, you already know who loves here, don't you? I'm her friend."

He chuckles. Oh my god, he's chuckling. Nope. Get your shit together (Y/N). "Can I help you?" I ask, trying to sound as uninterested as possible.

"Ehm, yes actually. I lost my key on my way home. I know Lina has a spare key of mine, in case things like this happen... Could you maybe get it for me?"

I nod casually, "Yeah sure."

In the meantime, Lina got out of the bathroom and got changed, now standing in the living room, rummaging through a drawer. When she finds what she's looking for, she throws a key at me and I only barely catch it.

"That's his spare key.." Lina explains as I walk back to the door.

The guy is still standing there, a lazy smirk on his face. "Nice catch, there."

I scoff, "Oh shove off."

He takes the key from me and moves to go back to his apartment, but halts halfway, "I'm Chris, by the way."

"(Y/N)."

So yeah, our first meeting was him asking for his spare key. It wasn't that funny, actually. But thinking about it always brings a smile to my face.

The smile soon falters when I see another girl throwing herself at Chris, though.

"Stop the sad face, (Y/N). Stop it, or do something about it. It's getting frustrating to see you like this." Lina tells me as she hands me a drink.

My face drops and my gaze is on the ground, "I just- what am I supposed to tell him, Li?"

She sighs, but smiles nonetheless, "Just tell him how you feel. I'm sure you'll feel better after doing that. You need to get this off your chest, it's eating you up."

I know she's right. It is eating me up, it's killing me. But I am just so fucking scared to mess up our friendship. I don't want things to get awkward between us. It's good the way it is now, for the most part.

"Jesus, don't you two look happy. Enjoying yourselves a bit, ladies?" Chris voice, dripping with sarcasm, sounds from next to me. My head snaps up and when I meet his eyes his smirk immediately disappears. "You alright, (Y/N)?"

I nod, not trusting my voice. "She's just got something on her mind, I can't help her, maybe you can?"

My head snaps to Lina in an instant and I send her the biggest glare ever. If looks could kill, she'd already be buried.

"Can always try! Here, come with me, it's too loud and busy in here." Chris comments as he reaches for my hand and takes it in his. The electricity moving through my body his touch is causing makes me even more scared about telling him then before. God, I really am in love with the guy who I once thought of as an ass.

When we reach his bedroom, Chris closes the door behind him before gesturing for me to sit on the edge of his bed.

"So, what's keeping you from being happy?"

I look down at my hands, fumbling them before quietly speaking up. "I don't know how to tell you."

During our walk to his room, I decided just to tell him. Lina was right, I can't keep it in any longer.

Chris moves one hand over to take mine in his, rubbing his thumb over the back of my hand. "You can tell me anything, you know that right?"

I let out a frustrated sigh, "I know. But things will get complicated after I tell you what's bothering me, Chris. I don't want things to get complicated. I don't like complicated."

"Hey, hey easy. Just calm down. I can't help you if you don't tell me, alright. So if you want my help, or whatever, you're gonna have to tell me what's wrong."

After what feels like forever, my eyes finally meet his. It's only then that I notice the genuine concern in his eyes. "Nothing's wrong, really..." I whisper.

Chris raises an eyebrow. It's now or never a voice in my head tells me. The voice is right. "I'm in love with you, Chris."

So, there. I said it. My life is either gonna fall apart or it's gonna get beautiful. Not expecting the latter to be realistic, I remove myself from his grasp and look away, about to stand up. But then Chris grabs my wrist, keeping me from moving. I look back at him and when I look into his eyes, there's an expression I can't seem to read.

"Aren't you gonna say something?" I ask quietly after a silence, too long for my liking.

Chris shakes his head softly and whispers, "I'm no good with words." Before gently leaning in and placing his lips delicately against mine. I'm caught by surprise, but lean in more once I regain my thoughts.

His lips taste like whiskey, something I'm not a big fan of, but that doesn't seem to matter. His lips against mine, his tongue sliding ever so gently into my mouth, his hand moving to cup my face, that's what matters right now.

Just when I'm about to move my hands into his hair, he breaks the kiss, letting out a breathy laugh doing so. "Well... that was something." he says breathlessly.

I look at him and in that moment my heart sinks. Chris is smirking. A smirk is never a good sign. All the girls he's been flirting with tonight come back to me. He just used me for a good snog.

"You're such a fucking ass." I tell him, my voice trembling, before standing up and walking directly to the door.

Chris is soon to catch up with me and stops in front of me, blocking my way to the door. "What are you talking about? (Y/N), wha- why are you crying?"

I try to push him aside, tears silently rolling down my face. But Chris is a strong man, he doesn't budge. Whenever I start slapping his chest, hopeful for him to get that I want to leave, he grabs both my arms, holding them still next to my sides. I can feel him searching my face, looking for my eyes, but I keep looking away.

"I know I can be an ass, (Y/N). But please tell me why you think I'm one right now, 'cause I haven't got a fucking clue." His voice is sincere and I can feel a pang at my heart.

I move my head to meet his eyes, "I'm not someone you can just play with, Chris. I know a lot of girls throw themselves at you, wanting some sort of attention. But I'm not like that. I'm in love with you, my feelings for you are genuine and I can't let you use me like you use those other girls. I'm not here for just some flirting or some snogging, alright? You can't play me like that."

It's quiet for more than a second and when I'm about to look away again, Chris' hands leave my arms and move upwards to cup my face. His thumb brushes against my cheek, removing a strand of hair that got in the way. "I'm not playing you, (Y/N). I would never."

The sound of is voice and the look in his eyes convince me. I guess I'm too weak for him. He's my weakness. Has been ever since I laid eyes on him.

He leans down, pressing his lips against mine. The kiss is very gentle and lovingly at first, but when I start tugging at his hair, something seems to change the mood.

Chris turns our positions and pins me against the door, pressing himself flush against me. I let out a muffled moan when I feel his hard on pressing against my thigh. Chris groans when I press my thigh against him, causing us both to smile against each other's lips.

"Here?" Chris asks after a couple of minutes of moaning and groaning. I shake my head, "Bed."

He lifts me up and I wrap my legs around his waist in order not to fall. His lips never leave mine as he moves us towards his bed. He throws me onto it when we get there and I let out a laugh. "God, you're a beast." I tell him breathlessly. I laughs, quickly reconnecting our lips.

It only takes him a second to separate me from my clothes. I have a bit of a harder time removing his, so he helps and within another second we're both entirely naked.

"I've been imagining what you look like ever since I asked for my spare key that night." I nudge him and he starts moving downwards, placing sloppy kisses all over my neck, down to my breasts and even lower.

His eyes meet mine and he smiles at me before moving his face down between my legs. I let out a loud whimper when his tongue slides between my folds. The whimpering only gets worse when he starts circling his tongue around my clit.

My mouth is closed by his hand, putting two fingers inside. I start licking his fingers, trying to keep myself from moaning any louder.

It helps, until he moves his other hand to my core and enters a finger, pumping in and out slowly. The moans I tried to suppress leave my mouth loud and clearly. I chuckles and starts moving his tongue even harder against me. I'm a squirming mess underneath his touch.

He goes on like that for a while, adding a couple of fingers in the process. Only to stop when I'm about to reach my high. "Chris!"I whine and he just laughs. "Not yet, princess."

Feeling a boost of confidence, I move Chris up and switch our positions. He's now lying beneath me. His eyes go wide for a second, but turn back to their hungry selves when he sees what I'm about to do.

I move myself down, positioning myself between his legs. When my eyes meet his dick, I panic for a second. He's massive. Scared Chris notices my panic, I move my head down to give the head of his cock a lip. The hiss that erupts from Chris' mouth encourages me to go on.

My hand takes the base of his cock and I start pumping slowly. As soon as I take him in completely, Chris' hips buckle up and I have to keep myself from gagging. Chris notices my shoulders tense up and immediately apologises.

After that he keeps himself from moving, once or twice unable do to so and thrusting into my mouth.

I can feel him tense up underneath me and that's when I let go entirely. Earning a groan of disapproval from him. "Annoying, isn't it?" I ask teasingly.

"Damn right it is." I grunts and before I can do something, Chris is on top of me again. His cock hovering above my entrance, teasing ever so lightly.

The teasing is soon done with when he enters me. I almost scream his name at the feelings of his cock entering my body. "Jesus you're tight. How long has it been?!" Chris groans, hissing every now and then.

"Too-" I start, letting out another moan, "long."

When we're both adjusted to the feeling, he starts moving in and out of me slowly. I honestly figured Chris was a wild one in bed, but he's so gently and lovingly, it's fucking amazing.

The kisses he places on my skin are delicate and when he kisses my lips once more, he pours everything in it, showing me very well he's not playing me.

Not long after we're both reaching our highs. "Babe- (Y/N), I'm gonna-". Before he's able to finish the sentence, I feel his come filling me. Only a second later I'm over the edge myself, whispering Chris' name in content.

He gently removes himself from me and plops down next to me. Quickly moving on his side and draping an arm over my waist before pressing his lips against my temple.

The silence is peaceful and we're both just enjoying each others presence before Chris speaks up. "You should've told me sooner."

I move my face to the side to look at him, "I was scared."

"For what?"

His hand reaches up and lazily strokes the side of my face, "I thought you weren't interested. I mean, what would you think when you see the guy you love snogging other girls every fucking minute?"

Chris lets out a laugh before placing a soft kiss on my lips. "I only did that because I thought you weren't interested in me. I was trying to get over the fact that I'd never be good enough for you."

Now it's me who turns to the side, facing him completely. My hand moves forwards and brushes a couple of strands of hair from his face, "You, not good enough for me? That's the biggest bullshit I've ever heard."

Chris just shrugs, leaning in to the touch of my hand stroking his cheek. "I love you."


	38. On the way - Chris Cornell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one shots contains smut

"(Y/N), you should really go home, it's getting very late and you're drunk." Shelley exclaims. I let out a sigh, knowing she's right.

Not much later I'm walking down the streets, making my way home. It's quite a long walk, but I decided to go by foot to the party, not wanting to face the consequences of being drunk and needing to take my car with me.

All goes fairly well, I manage to not come across as drunk as I am when I cross some police officers doing their daily night-route. All goes well, until it starts raining. First, the rains falls down gently, not bothering me much in my drunken state. But when it starts pouring down, I start feeling annoyed.

I start walking a tad faster and when I enter a certain street, I realise there's no need for me to go home in this weather if I can also just stay at Chris' house, which is in the street I'm currently walking in.

"Hey Chrissie!" I scream in his face as soon as he opens the door. He stumbles back when I throw my arms around him, "You don't mind me staying in for a bit, do you? It's pouring outside and I don't want to get soaked to the bone."

Chris pushes me back a little, just enough to see my face, and a playful smirk enters his face, "You're drunk, aren't you?"

A lazy smile enters my face and I nod, "Slightly drunk, yes." Chris just smiles at me and moves back to let me in completely, closing the door behind me before taking my jacket and hanging it up.

"Want some water?" Chris asks when he passes me as I'm taking off my shoes. "Water sounds good, yeah."

Chris and I have been friends for a while. I got to know him when he became a regular at the music store I work in. Guitars are my department and Chris seems to be in need of new guitars or new strings pretty often.

We started talking a bit every time he came by and we eventually started to hang out. There was not a day when I thought of Chris as more than a friend, but tonight, may it be the alcohol in my system or not, I did feel something more than just friendship.

I don't know what's making me think like this, but I want him so badly. God I've never been the horny-drunk, but I'd be lying if I said I'm not in the mood for it now.

Just as I sit down on the couch, Chris comes walking back to the living-room and hands me the glass of water. I smile up at him and thank him before taking a gulp.

We just talk for a bit and watch some telly, but I simply can't ignore the tension between us. I just know Chris feels it too, it can't be just me. Every now and then I sneak a glance at Chris and there were a couple of times I caught him already looking at me.

Ever since the unholy thought I had about him and I, there's this pit in my stomach and it just keeps growing and growing.

"Something wrong?" Chris asks when he catches me staring at him. Shit, I didn't even notice I was looking at him all this time. My eyes go wide and I immediately move my gaze back to the television.

The shake of my head clearly isn't good enough, 'cause I can see Chris raising his eyebrow in a questing manner beside me. "Nothing's wrong."

Chris just shrugs and moves his attention back to the television as well. The tension keeps getting worse and when the thought of him naked in front of me strikes my mind again, I can't help but let my gaze wander back to him. God, he's a beautiful creature, how come I never realised this before?

"(Y/N), you're staring again." Chris states without even looking sideways to face me. I feel myself go red and it is only then that he turns to me, "Are you sure everything's alright?"

I let out a sigh, not being able to hold back the information I'm about to give Chris due to to alcohol that's still in my system, "You're beautiful. And sexy. And my fucking god, you're making me think things."

As soon as the words leave my mouth I regret them. What the hell was I just thinking? Well, all of those things, actually... But what the hell made me say them out loud?! Well, the alcohol probably... I'm known for nothing having any boundaries when it comes to saying things when I'm drunk. Chris knows this, too. The thing is, he also knows that I never lie when I'm drunk.

Chris slowly turns back to the television and reaches for the remote to turn it off before turning back to face me, this time completely, his whole body is directly in front of me. "You think I'm beautiful, sexy even?" he asks me seriously.

I just nod at him, the conscious part of me scared to speak. "And if I'm allowed to ask, what kinda things are you exactly thinking about?"

My gaze, which was temporarily struck on my hands, immediately snaps up and when I meet Chris' eyes, I notice the smirk playing on his face. If it hadn't happened yet, all the blood in my body certainly moves up to my face now. "Yeah, ehm- about that..."

Chris chuckles at my flustered figure and moves forward, hands on the couch on both my sides, as he slightly hovers above me. "Tell me, (Y/N)."

When I realise Chris is just doing this to get me flustered, I push him back playfully and scoff, "Fuck off, Chris. You damn well know what I'm thinking about."

"You really want me to fuck off? You don't want me to fuck you?"

At that question, my heart drops down to my toes. Good lord, what's happened with sweet ol' Christopher Cornell who never did anything bad? Alright, that's not true, but he never says those kinda things to me, so this startles me, very, very, fucking much.

When I don't answer his question, Chris decides to answer it for me. He moves forward and roughly presses his lips against mine. He catches me off-guard with his action, but I can't help but lose myself completely under his touch.

I wrap my legs around his waist and when he presses himself against my core, a moan escapes my mouth, muffled by his lips catching it.

My hands jump up and I run them through his hair rather harshly, earning a groan from him when I tug lightly at the back of his hair. I buckle my hips up and feel the pit forming in my stomach again when I feel how hard Chris already is. He must've felt the tension as well after all.

"You really wanna do this?" Chris asks breathlessly after he moves back a bit, "I mean, you're drunk and I don't want to take advantage of that."

I smile at how considerate he is and realise he still is the sweet guy I met all those years ago, "I am drunk, yes. But you know I'm not drunk enough to not know what I'm doing. I want this, Chris. I want you."

This is enough for Chris to continue his attack on my lips. This time, he doesn't stop. He moves his hands from beside me to the hem of my shirt and removes it without much difficulty.

Soon after we're both completely naked, our clothes discarded all over the floor of his living-room.

I let out a shaky breath when I feel his cock teasing my entrance. He smirks and places a sweet kiss on my lips before placing a trail of kisses down my body, stopping with a last kiss just above my clit.

He doesn't give me much time to get ready for the upcoming sensation. His tongue quickly starts licking it's way through my folds. The moan that escaped my lips encourages Chris to continue and go further. He moves his tongue to my clit and plays with it for a bit before entering a finger inside me.

As soon as he starts pushing his fingers, having added another two quickly after adding the first one, he has me a whimpering and moaning mess. I knew his fingers were skilled, with all the guitar playing and stuff, but if I'd known they were also skilled on another level, I'd have made him do this to me much sooner.

Chris notices the way my walls tighten around his fingers and immediately pulls them out, earning a dissatisfied cry from me. He just smirks and moves back up to kiss me deeply, letting his tongue roam through my mouth. The fact that I can taste an unfamiliar taste in my mouth, which is probably my own juices, doesn't even bother me right now.

When I feel his cock patting my thigh, I realise it's his time to feel the pleasure he just gave me. I push him off me and turn us around so he's lying with his back on the couch and I'm above him.

My eyes are looking directly into his and when I reach down to grab his cock with my hand, he quickly shuts his eyes closed, hissing at the contact. I just smirk at him, placing a sweet kiss on his lips before moving down to kiss the head of his cock.

My tongue slides over the head and when I eventually take it in my mouth, I can feel Chris wanting to buckle up his hips. I quickly move my head back, releasing his cock with a soft 'pop'. "Christ, you're a fucking tease." Chris groans and I let out a laugh, licking my lips before reaching for his cock with my hand to pump it up and down.

The contact of my hand on his cock makes him close his eyes again and he throws his head back on the pillow on the couch. This time, when I take him in, I don't stop when the head is completely in. I move my head further down and take as much in as I can. Chris has a rather big friend...

I keep on moving me head up and down, licking around his cock, while pumping up and down with my hand. After a good while Chris desperately buckles up his hips and that's my cue to stop. 

I don't even have time to move back up, 'cause before I know what's happening, Chris has already pushed me back against the couch and positions himself between my legs. "I'm done with the teasing." he growls before quickly, yet ever so gently, sliding himself inside me.

The feeling of his cock inside me makes me release a moan. Chris let's out a low grunt himself and only starts thrusting himself in and out softly after adjusting to the feeling.

The way Chris is making me feel is better than everything. He's making me feel complete, as if every piece of the puzzle finally is put into place. He's making me feel loved and perfect. All the sweet-nothings he's whispering into my ear are such a big deal to me and he probably doesn't know.

I've had sex before, plenty of times. But now I realise, I've never made love before.

"Chris! Oh god, I'm close, chris!" I pant as I can feel the pit forming in my stomach. Chris grunts in response, "Too. Me- me too."

It takes him only a couple more thrusts before I reach my orgasm. It's the best one I've ever had and quickly after me, Chris releases his come inside me. Before either of us move or talk, we're a panting, breathless, mess. Our chests keep almost colliding with each other's as we try to regain our breaths.

Chris slowly and gently pulls out and quickly walks over to his restroom to get a towel to clean up. He returns as quickly as he left and when he reaches me, he playfully starts to clean the messy spots on my body he left there.

Before Chris leaves to put the towel in the laundry he puts on his boxers. I put on my panties as well and when he returns, he's holding a cosy, soft-looking, blanket in his hand. He smiles that cheeky smile at me and gestures for me to move over a bit so he can sit next to me.

He sits down on the couch and immediately pulls me against his chest before wrapping the blanket around us. I smile against his chest, my fingers tracing some tiny scars and spots on his chest.

"I really hope that wasn't just because you were in the mood and because you were drunk?" Chris quietly says. Well asks, actually.

I look up and meet his hopeful eyes with mine. "Chris, I love you. I never knew, actually, but I'm damn sure I do. And not because of how amazing you just pleased me, but because of who you are. You're such an amazing guy."

The smile on his face lights up his entire face and he places his hand in my hair to gently run his fingers through it. "And what would you say to this amazing guy becoming your amazing guy?"

"I'd say that is an amazing idea." I say before leaning up to press my lips against his in a soft, yet passionate kiss.

Chris smiles against my lips and mutters a soft, "And for the record, I love you too, (Y/N).", before pulling me back into his embrace, letting out a sigh of content before placing his lips against my head.


	39. Records - Chris Cornell

"Hello, how can I help you?" the guy behind the counter happily asks me. I smile at him, "I'm looking for a record. Do you know if you've got any of the band Fatal Flowers?"

He thinks for a minute before gesturing for me to follow him. After just a couple of minutes of the guy looking for me, he's found the right section, "Here you go, there are multiple. Just call me over when you need some help."

I thank him and move all my attention into the box of records. It doesn't take me long to find the one I am looking for: Fatal Flowers/Younger Days. It's two of their albums put in one album and I just love it.

With the record in my hand I walk over to one of the record players in the store to make sure the record isn't damaged.

As I stand there, just enjoying the music through the headphones, someone suddenly bumps into me, causing me to almost stumble and take the record player, along with the record, with me to the ground. But none of that happens, because I feel two strong arms gripping me tightly.

When I'm all stable again, I remove the headphones and immediately hear a male voice, "Shit, I'm so sorry! I lost balance... Are you alright?"

My eyes meet his and all the air in my lungs is immediately taken away from me. It takes me a minute to regain myself, I let out a breathy laugh, "Uh- yeah, thanks for catching me."

The guy laughs, "Well, I wouldn't have had to catch you if it weren't for me bumping into you, but no problem. I'm Chris, by the way."

The chuckle that escapes my lips can't be helped. "I know, you're the lead-singer of Soundgarden."

His eyes go wide for a second and I quickly introduce myself to prevent the situation from getting awkward, "I'm (Y/N), by the way."

Fortunately, things don't become awkward and Chris and I talk for a bit, "Anyways, I'm gonna pay for this now." I inform him, picking the record from the record player and putting it back in it's package.

"Yeah 'course. Which one is it, if I may ask." Chris asks while were walking to the counter. "It's Fatal Flowers/Younger Days by Fatal Flowers."

After I pay, Chris walks with me out of the store, "I've never heard of them, are they well-known?" his voice speaks up and I smile.

"They're not very well-known. It's a Dutch band, actually. I know them because my dad is Dutch and completely obsessed with them."

Chris decides to walk me home and it all feels so natural, the fact that I'm walking beside a Rockstar doesn't even cross my mind. It's just like I'm walking beside a friend I've known for years.

"This is my stop." I tell Chris when we reach my tiny house. Chris eyes it and a smile enters his face, "It's nice."

I can't help but feel a little flustered around him, only now realising how handsome the guy actually really is. I'm staring at him for a moment before he speaks up, eyes moving back to meet mine, snapping me out of my daze. "I was wondering if you'd maybe want to grab a drink sometime?"

Chris' voice sounds a bit unsure and it's honestly so endearing. "Yes, I'd love to. We can even go now if you've got time? I've to nothing to do so..."

His eyes light up, "Now sounds great."

"Alright, let me just put my stuff inside. You can come in for a second if you want to? I won't kidnap you." I add the last part with a sly smile and he laughs, following me inside my house.

After a couple of minutes I've got everything I need and go back outside, Chris following suite. "What were you doing in that store, by the way?" I ask him while we're walking through the streets to the bar around the corner.

"I didn't have anything to do so I just went to look if they had any new stuff, but then I bumped into you, literally." I feel like he wants to say more, but when he doesn't continue, I don't push him.

Chris and I both sneak glances at each other every now and then and I can feel my heart skip a beat every time a catch him or he catches me. Sweet lord what is this guy doing to me? I've only met him about an hour ago!

Okay, so I've known him for a bit longer, but never in person, I've only known him in person for an hour. It's crazy that he's making me feel the way he is making me feel.

We enter the bar and I quickly feel multiple eyes on us, people must recognize Chris. "Ignore them, yeah?" Chris comments when he notices I tense up a little. My eyes find his and the smile on his face makes me tense a little less.

When he puts his hand on the small of my back in a comforting way, to guide me further into the bar, all the tension is released. He guides me over the a table in the back of the bar. "You've been here before?" I ask when I see how easily he makes his way through the bar, as if he knows where he's going.

"I've been here a couple of times, yeah. I've never seen you here though." He says while we both take our seat across from each other. I let out a small laugh, "I haven't seen you here either, even though I go here quite frequently."

Chris asks me what I want to drink and leaves to get us something when my phone rings. I look at the screen and see my brother's name on it. "Hey Der, what's up?"

"Hey, where are you?"

"I'm having a drink, why?"

I can here Derek let out a sigh, "I thought I'd come by and see you since I was in the neighborhood anyways. When will you be home?"

My eyes go wide, "You're what? Why didn't you tell me? I'd have stayed home if I knew you'd be here. I don't know when I'll be home, I just got here, like, five minutes ago."

Chris comes back and notices I'm on the phone so he just gently puts down a beer in front of me and I smile at him as a thank you.

"I forgot... There's just one problem: I've got nowhere to stay tonight."

I nearly choke on my drink, "You've become homeless?!"

"Kind of. Do you mind if I come by now, just to pick up your keys?"

His voice sounds desperate and I can't help but feel concerned, how on earth did my brother become homeless? Last I know he was engaged to his girlfriend and his life was almost perfect.

"Yeah sure, I'm sitting at a table in the back, see you in a bit."

I hang up my phone and run a hand over my face. "You alright?" Chris speaks up, letting me know he's still there.

My eyes meet his and I smile at him, "Yeah, sorry. My brother just called and told me he's kind of homeless, so he's coming by to pick up my keys to be able to go into my house. You don't mind, do you?"

"No, of course not. As long as he doesn't take you home with him." Chris adds a wink while saying the last part, causing the blood to rush to my cheeks.

Derek arrives not much later, "Hey hot-stuff, how've you been?" Chris raises his eyebrow at the nickname my brother gives me. "I used to be a bit hot-headed..." his mouth forms the shape of an 'o'.

Only then Derek notices Chris sitting across from me. "Oh shit, sorry. I didn't know you were on a date- wait, you're Chris Cornell, right?"

Chris laughs, not even making a comment about the fact that we never even spoke about a 'date', but nods. "Nice to meet you, Derek, right?"

"Derek it is, yeah." Derek turns back to face me and I stand up to give him a hug, "It's good to see you, Der."

"Same to you, always. Anyways, give me that key so I can stop bothering you. I'll tell you everything later tonight, yeah?" he says, gesturing for me to give him the key. I smile and reach for my keys, handing them over before playfully pretending to give back, but removing them from his grasp last minute.

Derek rolls his eyes, but laughs nonetheless, "Alright. Have fun you two. As much as I'd want to stay behind and get to know you, Chris, I'm quite sure not at all interested in me. Have fun and don't you dare hurt my sister, I won't be so friendly when that happens... Bye (Y/N), see you later."

Derek leaves as quickly as he got here and leaves me behind in a very embarrassed and flustered state. Chris just chuckles, "Is he always this blunt and forward?"

I give him a pained smile, "Unfortunately, yes."

Chris takes another sip of his beer, "Well, you can tell him not to worry. I'm not planning on hurting his sister."

The heat once again rushes to my cheeks. "That's good to know." I say softly, it's almost a whisper.

My eyes are fixed on the table, fixed on my hands that are nervously fumbling, and when I suddenly feel a hand on mine, my eyes snap up and I meet Chris'. "We haven't really talked about it, and I mean, we hardly know each other, but I'd like to take you on a date, a real one, if you'd like that. I mean, to get to know each other better and all."

The smile that enters my face is full of excitement and happiness, "I'd love that, Chris."

A day later, Chris takes me out on a real date, to a nice restaurant. I have the tie of my life and I can feel myself slowly actually developing feelings for the guy.

Two days after our date, Chris calls to ask if it's alright for him to come over. Derek left yesterday, after explaining he and Alice, his now ex-girlfriend, broke up after struggling to keep things going for a while.

"There you are, come in." I say after opening the door for Chris, who is standing on my front porch. He smiles and places a quick peck on my cheek before heading inside. I take his jacket from him and hang it up on the wall.

The record I bought the day I met Chris is playing softly in the background. It's a beautiful ocean-blue colored vinyl. "That's the record you bought that day, right?"

"You mean the day we met?" I tease him a little. He chuckles, "That day, yes."

I smile and hand him a glass of wine before taking a seat next to him on the couch, "But you're right, it's the record I bought that day."

Chris smiles at the fact that my face lightens up when I talk about the music. "You really like this music, don't you?"

"I do, yeah. It also reminds me of my time in Holland, good memories." I tell him with a smile on my face. When my eyes meet his, I notice he has the loveliest of smiles on his own face.

Chris moves to sit a little more comfortable, placing on leg underneath his body. "Tell me about the band and about home."

I chuckle, "Alright. Well, as you know, I was born in the Netherlands. That's also where I spent most of my childhood. My mum is America and my dad Dutch, I moved to America with my mum when my parents got divorced. My brother stayed with my dad for the first couple of years, which was pretty hard for me, but fortunately everything got a lot easier when my dad decided to move to America as well.." I talk about my childhood and youth for a bit longer, letting out a laugh here and there, causing Chris to smile and chuckle too.

Chris tells me about his own childhood and about the lot that he's been through. There are some serious moments, but fortunately he makes sure to keep things happy and we both laugh at the jokes he makes.

Suddenly, after a short silence, Chris stands up and reaches his hand out for me to take. I give him a look and raise my eyebrow, "Come on (Y/N), just take my hand." He laughs.

When Chris pulls me up and leads me to the spot behind my couch. I hear the song 'Crying Over Sin' playing in the background and I immediately know what he's up to.

Chris places his arms around me, hands resting on the small of my back. My arms move up and I place my arms around his neck, my hands finding each other behind his back as I play with the hair there.

We gently sway to the music, casually enjoying each other's presence. I lay my head on his chest and he softly places his head on top of mine. I let out a sigh of content, "This is simply amazing." I mumble, more to myself than to Chris, but he catches it nonetheless.

His chest vibrates when he chuckles, causing me to chuckle too, because of the movement. "I know. But you know, I tend to feel amazing pretty much every time I'm around you."

I push myself away from him only enough so I can look him into his eyes, "And I feel the exact same way, Chris."

His eyes move from my eyes to my lips and I can feel my heartbeat picking up. He leans down and I automatically stand up on my tiptoes, meeting him halfway. A firework explodes inside of me when his lips brush against mine, leaving enough room for me to back out if I want to.

I press myself against him even more, showing I don't want to back out. His lips are soft and gentle, but that compensates for his rough hands that are currently running up my sides, eventually stopping when they're on my face and gently cupping my face in them.

He softly runs his tongue across my lips and I open my mouth, my his tongue with mine. The kiss is everything but rough and hurried. The kiss is sweet, passionate and everything anyone could ever wish for in a kiss.

After what feels like hours, but only seconds at the same time, we part, both heavily in the need of air. When we've both processed what's just happened, we start laughing, both not really believing everything's that's happened in the last couple of days.

When we calm down from the laughter, we look into each other's eyes for a moment. Chris' hand moves back to my face, stroking my cheek softly. "I don't know how you did it, but you've somehow made your way into my life and I'm not planning on letting you slip out of it any time soon, love."

I smile at his words, not believing how I managed to get someone like Chris to speak words like those to me. "Don't worry, Chris. I'm not planning on leaving anytime soon."

"Good, 'cause if you'd let me, I'd like to call you mine from now on."

A chuckle escapes my lips, "Gosh we sound like high-schoolers, but back to the point. I'd very much like that. Same goes for you of course."

Chris smiles a cheeky smile and leans forward to rest his forehead against mine, "(Y/N), darling, you were already allowed to call me yours when I first laid eyes on you."


	40. One date - Jerry Cantrell

"Please, (Y/N), just go out with him. We can't bare it any longer!" Mike whines.

I sigh and roll my eyes. Jerry has been asking me out for weeks and he won't take 'no' for an answer, even though that's been the answer ever since he first asked.

In all honesty, I don't know why I just don't go out with the guy. After all, he is hot as hell and he is funny as well. Jerry and I always got along very well, I know him well and I love him, I'm just not sure if I love, or even like, him like that. I never pictured myself with Jerry. It's just not me. He's so not the type of guy I'm usually into. Maybe that's why I keep saying 'no', because he's not my type.

Maybe I should just give it a shot?

"You know I'm not behind the fact that they're actually pushing you to go on a date with him, but honestly, one date can't do any harm, right?" Layne says. Shit, I thought he was on my side.

I shrug the comments off and play some more on my piano. Layne and Mike came to my tiny excuse of a house to hang out and play some music. But since they've got here, all Mike could talk about what Jerry and now he has Layne backing him up as well.

"I though you guys came to enjoy and make some music?" I snap, getting annoyed. If I do agree to go on a date with Jerry, I don't want to do it because the guys want me to go, but because I want to go. I just need a day or two to think about it.

Mike finally drops the subject and soon we are making all sorts of random tunes, Mike playing his bass, Layne his guitar and me playing my piano. It all sounds pretty nice and we go one for a while until Layne says he and Mike should go, because they've got a meeting first thing in the morning.

I say goodbye to both of the guys and as soon as they're gone I start cleaning the house a bit. I order a pizza for dinner and when it arrives I peacefully eat it on my sofa with some music on the background.

A couple of days later, while I'm just doing some regular grocery shopping, I feel someone tapping my shoulder. I turn around and see Jerry standing behind me. I sigh, "Hi Jer,"

I smiles at me, god he really is handsome. And for the record, he's also very fucking cute. "Hey (Y/N), what you doing?"

I laugh and roll my eyes, "Isn't that a bit obvious, Cantrell?"

His facial expression changes from happy to embarrassed and he quickly moves his gaze to the floor. "Yeah, sorry." he whispers.

As I see him so embarrassed, I do feel guilty. I've been so hard on him the last couple of weeks and all he does is being very, and I mean very, fucking nice to me. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be harsh." I say and his head snaps up immediately.

"It's alright." he says with a small smile. 

"If you don't mind, I'm going back to do the shopping now, though." I say, trying not to sound too harsh. It seems to be alright, since his smile doesn't fade and he nods. This is the moment I start thinking of going on a date with him. It could be just one date after all, then everyone's happy. He's satisfied and maybe it won't even be that bad. And maybe there'll be more dates, who knows? I decide to just tell him I'll go on a date with him. He is about to turn around when I speak up again.

"If you've got a little longer, you could wait outside and walk home with me, though? I'm almost done and I'd like to talk to you about something." I say and I can see pure joy in his eyes. 

"Yeah 'course!" he says and even insists to help me with the rest of the stuff I need. 

I pay for my stuff and put it in a bag before heading out with Jerry. It's a warm day out and I couldn't wish for better weather.

"You said you wanted to talk about something?" Jerry nervously speaks up, interrupting my daydream about the weather.

I smile a bit, "Yeah well, you've been asking me on dates for god knows how long and I thought maybe I should just go on a date with you.." So, I said it. That's that.

"What?" Jerry says while stopping in his tracks, he's quiet for a minute, "Is this some kind of joke? Did the guys force you to go so I'd stop whining?" he says and he genuinely sounds hurt and angry. 

I can't believe it, I'm trying to be a good person here and all I get is distrust, but I decide to stay nice. "No Jerry. I actually want to go on a date with you. I know the guys have been annoying about it and yes, they have been telling me to just go on a date with you. But I assure you, I'm not saying I want to go on a date with you 'cause of them."

Firstly, Jerry seems unsure, but when he processes the words, a smile as big and goofy as ever takes place on his face. "You're forreal?" he asks one last time.

"I am." I laugh.

He comes closer and gives me a hug, so tight I've never had one like this before. "Alright, alright, big guy. I won't be able to go on a date with you if you've strangled me." I laugh and he immediately lets go of me.

He smiles awkwardly, "So, how about I pick you up tonight?"

I nod and chuckle, "Sounds good to me."

"Alright, I'll pick you up at 6:20. Don't dress up too much, I won't be able to get on the same level, you know." he says and I immediately slap his arm playfully.

"Still not done with the subtle flirting, Cantrell?"

We both laugh and we continue our walk towards my house.

Times flies and before I know it Jerry is knocking on my door. I let him in and tell him I just have to get my purse so we can go.

He looks handsome, wearing a plane shirt with a very smart jacket on top. Some black jeans and nice shoes. It's a mystery where he got those clothes from, I can assure you it didn't come out of his own wardrobe.

I, myself, am wearing a black dress. Not too which, but not too shabby either. I'm got my brand new docs on, which still look quite nice and around my neck is a beautiful neckless my grandma gave me before she passed away.

"A table for mr Cantrell and a beautiful lady." a sweet old lady says as she leads us to our table. Jerry must have made a reservation, since she knows his name.

The lady leaves us after we've told her what we want to drink.

Jerry is busy with straightening his jacket and I can't help but to observe him for a bit. "You look handsome tonight, Jer." I say and his gaze meets mine. I can tell he's nervous and it's the cutest thing ever.

"Thanks, you look amazing yourself." he smiles. 

I don't know why, but his comment makes me blush a little. Maybe it's because I'm not used to get genuine compliments from guys. Or maybe it's because the compliment is from Jerry. I don't know.

The lady comes back with our drinks and hands us the menus in the process. "Just give me sign whenever you've made your choice." she says.

"Well, cheers to out first date." Jerry says as he lifts his drink in the air. I do the same and our glasses meet with a quiet 'cloink'. "Cheers." 

We look at the menus in silence for a bit. "Made a decision?" I ask him. He nods, "I'll go for the Tuna one, what about you?"

"I'll take the BBQ Chicken one" I smile at him. 

He gestures for the lady to come to our table and she takes our order and leaves with the menus.

"Thanks for coming tonight, (Y/N)." Jerry says. "If I may ask, though. What made you change your mind? I mean, I've tried so many times and you always said 'no'. What made you say 'yes'?"

I've never seen Jerry this nervous, not even for his first live show.

"I just figured I should give you a chance. You were always so sweet and I couldn't ask for a better friend, so why not give it a shot? Maybe I do eventually start liking you in a special way, who knows?"

A smile spreads across his face and it honestly melts my heart. Who knew a rocker like Jerry Cantrell could be so soft and sweet and everything a girl could wish for?

The pizza's arrive and Jerry and I dig in immediately. We talk about so many things; about music, about work, about family, about previous relationships, about our friends.

Jerry insists to pay for this dinner and I don't stand a chance against him.

After he pays we decide to go for a little walk.

"I had a lot of fun tonight." Jerry says.

I link are arms together and Jerry looks down at me with a smile.

"Me too, Jerry. We should do it again, you know." 

I look up at him and I can see a facial expression which tells me he still can't believe this is all really happening.

"Yeah, definitely!"

The walk ends and he drives me back to my house.

"Call me when you're home, though." I say when I'm in the doorway and he's outside.

He chuckles, "Getting all worried about me getting home safe?"

He playfully slap his chest, "I just don't want you to leave me just yet."

"Alright, I'll give you a call. And thanks again. I'm looking forward to our second date."

"Yeah, me too. I should get some sleep now though. Gotta work in the morning." 

He nods. "Good night, (Y/N)." he says and gives me a quick kiss on my cheek.

"Good night, Jerry." I smile at him before he turns to leave and closing the door.

I smile to myself, after all it wasn't a bad idea to go on a date with him.


	41. I just can't - Jerry Cantrell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one shot contains smut

'Even after four months he still doesn't know when to stop.' I think to myself as I decline his call once more.

"Shouldn't you give him one more chance?" Demri asks me to which I scoff.

I take another long swig of my wine before answering: "He messed up. He had his chance, Dem. I'm not gonna let myself fall for it again."

She sighs, knowing fully well that I'm right. But then again, she hates seeing me like this; heartbroken, even after four months.

I turn the volume of the tv a bit and lose myself in the awfully bad tv show that's currently playing. Fortunately it helps set the mood a bit and Demri and I both laugh every now and then.

At midnight Demri decides it's time to head home and I let her out, "Bye Dem, see you soon."

"Yeah, and you'll come to Chris' party right?" she asks, which causes confusion to enter my face.

I wave it off, "I'll call him and ask about it, don't worry. See you!"

And with that, Demri leaves and I turn after closing the door to reach for my phone. I dial Chris' number and it rings only one of two times before he picks up.

"Cornell household, what can I do for you?" he says in a mocking-tone.

I laugh, "Hey Chris, how are you?" he let's out an exciting sound when he realises it's me.

"(Y/N)!! I was just about to give you a call, actually. You're coming to my party this Friday, aren't you? I totally forgot to tell you about it, I'm sorry! Can you forgive me, sugar?"

"I was just about to call you about it, Demri just mentioned it and I wanted to make sure if I was invited, but of course, I'll be there! And quit it with the pet-names, Cornell."

We both burst into a fit of laughter, "Alright, see you Friday, Chris." I say before hanging up.

The rest of the week go by in a flash and before I even realise it, it's Friday already. "Shit!" I mutter to myself at the realisation.

"Dem! Hey!" I practically scream into my phone as soon as it's picked up. "I need your help, alright. The party is in two hours and I've done nothing, yet. Please, help me out here!"

She just chuckles and tells me she's on her way. I thank her and move over to my wardrobe. There are a couple of dresses that look quite nice for a birthday party. But then again, there are also some nice, tight, pants in there and some nice shirts.

I take out a dress, a pair of pants and a shirt, and some heels and boots to go with it. When I'm about to change, my doorbell rings and I open it to find Demri standing in front of me, already completely dolled up for the party.

I grab her wrist and take her with me to my room, "Soooo, I've got this set: these tight pants, this shirt, and the boots." I tell her, showing her the black, ripped tights, a t-shirt with 'rock'n'roll' spelled on it and the black dr martens boots. "Or this dress and these heels." I say as I show her the black, lace, dress with a pair of matte black, open, heels.

She seems to genuinely think of what I should wear and finally speaks up, "First one, deffo first one." she says and throws the outfit at me.

"Alright!"

After a good hour and a half, I'm finally done. Clothes hugging my body in a perfect way and make up smoothly on my face. "He won't know what hit 'm." Demri says under her breath.

"What?" I ask since I didn't hear her very clearly.

Her eyes snap up to meet mine, "Oh, nothing. You look amazing."

Demri eventually calls Layne to tell him she'll meet him at the party, 'cause she's staying here with me for the time being.

"You know, you're lucky with Layne, he's such a sweetheart to you." I tell her, thinking about how lovey-dovey they can get. She chuckles, "Well, there's also another side to it, of course. But yes, I'm very happy with him."

Time flies and before we know it, it's already time to go to Chris' place. I get my keys and put them in my purse, along with some money. Before closing my apartment and hopping into Dem's car.

"There you are!" Chris exclaims when we enter, seemingly a tad bit later than the rest, (we might have had karaoke in the car and didn't want to stop..)

There are a lot of familiar faces and I greet them all, except for one face I wish I never had to see again. Him calling me was already heavy on me. Seeing him was even worse. Before his eyes meet mine I quickly turn around and walk to the other side of the room, where Chris and Demri are conversing. "Why the hell didn't you tell me hewould be here?!" I whisper-scream.

They both give me a pained expression, "Because then you probably wouldn't have come,"

"Damn right I wouldn't."

"but you need to have fun, (Y/N). Just have fun tonight, alright? Enjoy yourself again for once."

I sigh, knowing they're right. I drop the subject and move over to the kitchen to grab a beer. "You showed up." a very familiar voice speaks from behind me. A voice I wanted to avoid very dearly.

"Not because you're here." I snap without turning around.

I hear him sigh and there's also a soft thud, probably him putting down his drink on the table. "Don't be like that, (Y/N), please." he says in a soft voice, which almost gets to me. Almost.

I finally turn around and my eyes meet his, "Be like what, Jerry? Like I'm done with you? Like I don't want to talk to you? Well, I don'twant to talk to you. So I'm going to leave this kitchen and you're going to let me."

For once, he actually listens to me and lets me leave the kitchen without any more than just looking at me with broken eyes.

The evening goes on pretty alright, without any more encounters with Jerry, I'm actually really having fun for the first time in a while.

My conversation with McCready is cut short when someone taps on my shoulder. I turn to be met with those broken eyes once again.

I turn back to Mike, ignoring the presence behind me, but fail at it as Jerry walks around me and steps in front of me, "I need to talk to you, (Y/N)."

Mike gives me an apologetic smile and walks over to where Eddie is standing. My eyes leave Mike's retreating figure and snap back to Jerry. "Alright, but not here." I give in. It's been so long and when I really think about it, this act of not caring is killing me, 'cause I do care about him, way too much for my liking.

Jerry grabs my arm gently and walks upstairs into the hall with me following him. The party is going on downstairs, so there isn't anyone upstairs.

"So, what do you want?" I spat at him, feeling a tad bad for how harsh it sounded.

Jerry sighs, not meeting my eyes, "I miss you. So fucking much, it's killing me."

I scoff and he finally meets my eyes, "Maybe you should've thought of that a bit sooner."I say and look away from him.

"I know I should've. God you don't have to tell me that. I'm an idiot, the biggest idiot, for what I did to you. And I've tried so hard to get over you, to let you move on, because I know it's selfish of me to ask you to forgive me, but I've realised that I am selfish."

His words are so sincere and honest that I can't stay mad at him. "Why did you do it? Why did you have sex with her? My cousin, for fucks sake, Jerry. And to make it even better, on my birthday! What the hell did I do to deserve that?" I desperately ask him, tears already streaming down my face.

Jerry's hand moves up to my cheek and he brushes the tears away with his thumb, "Nothing. You did absolutely nothing to deserve that. That's why it makes me even more of a selfish prick to ask you to forgive me. But it was a mistake, (Y/N). I big mistake at that. I was drunk, and I know that's not an excuse, but I'd never do anything to hurt you on purpose. I love you."

That was that. Those three words. Those words did it. "You love me?"

"I love you, (Y/N). More than anything. And I guess if I love you, I should let you move on. But I can't, I genuinely can't."

Never had Jerry said those words to you, not even when you were dating.

"You don't have to say them back, I don't expect you to. You probably don't even feel the same, but I had to say it."

We're both quiet for a while, just staring at each other. And I'm thinking, about everything he just said.

"What if I did say it back?" I ask quietly.

"You woul- what?" he says, only then realising what I just asked.

"What if I said I loved you too? Because I do, Jerry. After all this time, I still fucking love you. I've tried to get over you, but nothing worked."

For a moment, he says or does nothing, but as the words sink in, he pins me to the wall and crashes his lips against mine in a kiss that tells me just how much he loves me and how much he's been wanting to do this.

At first I'm hesitant, not knowing if this is really what I want, if I really want to get back into it with him. But the hesitation is soon replaced by hunger and love for the man currently pinning me against the wall with his whole body.

I kiss him back just as eager as he kisses me. Jerry practically drags me into the first room we reach, locking it on our way over to the bed that's inside. The fact that we're about to have sex on Chris' bed doesn't even bother me. All I want to do right now is make up for lost time.

Both our shirts are somewhere on the ground even before we hit the matrass. "You sure?" Jerry asks as he's hovering above me.

I let out a chuckle as I smile at him, "You've become a gentleman, now?" I ask teasingly. He laughs, but quickly reconnects our lips together, his hands roaming over my whole body and stopping at my waistband. Moving his hand slowly to my zipper, sliding it down, and undoing my button.

His hands slide my pants off, our shoes already being lost, and his hand immediately goes back up to slide off my panties. "God (Y/N), you're already so wet." He says as he gently slides a finger through my folds.

I let out a moan and Jerry smirks before kissing me hungrily. His thumb playing with my clit, as one finger slides into me, has me soon as a moaning mess. His fingers are at familiar territory and he knows exactly what to do to make me feel like I'm on cloud nine.

"Jer- God, Jer." I grunt as he starts pumping, now two fingers, in and out of my roughly. He removes his fingers from inside me and swiftly removes his boxers as well.

His hands are now resting at the side of my head, both on one side. He's positioning himself between my legs, the tip of his cock teasing against my entrance. He moves himself up a bit, his cock now sliding against my clit, causing me to let out a loud moan.

Jerry chuckles before sliding himself into me completely. I arch my back, the once familiar feeling a bit renewing.

"You alright?" he whispers softly, caressing my cheek with his thumb. I nod and he places a gentle kiss on me lips before thrusting in and out of me. At first, his thrusts are gentle, but as soon as he realises I'm completely adjusted to the feeling of having him inside me, his thrust get harder and harder.

"Jeez, (Y/N) you're so tight." Jerry grunts as he keeps pushing in and out of me. A chuckle I let out forms into a moan as he hits my sensitive spot. He places kisses all over my neck and nibbles and bites every now and then.

I feel my orgasm building up in the pit of my stomach "Jer, I'm close-" I tell him and he nods, "Me too, babe. Just let it go, come for me."

It takes us both only a couple second before it's done. I scream his name as he screams my name. We ride off our high and he pulls out slowly, collapsing next to me on the bed.

"I'll never let you go, (Y/N). I'll never give you another reason for it." he whisper in my ear while placing his arm around my waist.

"I won't let you do anything like that ever again, Jer, so don't worry." I say and we both chuckle.

The sound of the door opening startles us and Jerry quickly grabs a blanket to cover the both of us. Chris enters the room and as soon as he sees us he freezes.

"I thought you locked to door." I whisper to Jerry, my eyes not leaving Chris' figure.

"I guess I was a bit too busy getting us to the bed to check the lock..."

"You guys," Chris said, while pointing his finger at me and then Jerry, back and forth, "just had sex. In my bed." he says, more to himself than to us. "IN MY BED!"

Jerry and I share a glance, smiles creeping up on our faces, "Oops?"


	42. What's wrong with you? - Mike McCready

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one shot contains smut

"You should really come over, (Y/N). I'll leave you two alone, but you've gotta come. He's not himself and I have no idea what I can possibly do to help him..." Jeff tells me through the phone.

I sigh, Mike hasn't been himself at all, lately. "Alright, I'll be there in 10." I tell him before hanging up. Fortunately, I already have some clothes at his place, so there's no need for me to pack stuff in case I stay over.

There's honestly nothing that makes sense as to why Mike is so irritable lately. I, together with the other guys, have been trying to think of what could possibly make him so down. Nothing has come to mind yet.

I knock on the door as soon as I reach it, Jeff opens almost immediately and sends me a pained smile before giving me a quick hug. "He's in his room, drowning in whatever's on his mind."

Jeff turns to Mike's room before screaming, "I'm out, Mike. Call if you need anything." And with that, Jeff leaves the apartment.

I put my stuff down on the couch and walk over to Mike's room. I knock on his door before slightly opening it. "Hey there," I tell him and send him a smile when I turns his head to meet my eyes.

"What are you doing here?" he sounds surprised, not even a glint of happiness in his eyes, which kind of hurts. It seems like he doesn't want me here, but then again, I promised Jeff I'd try to figure out what's wrong with him. Besides that, as his girlfriend, I'd like to know what's wrong so we can get it over with.

Slowly, I walk over to where he's sitting and sit down across from his on his bed. "Just figured I'd come by. I haven't seen you around much lately. I miss you."

Mike just rolls his eyes and scoffs, sending another pang to my heart. "It's not as if I didn't hear Jeff telling you on the phone to come over, (Y/N). So cut the crap."

The fact that he actually thinks I'm just here because Jeff asked me hurts, but what hurts even more is the way he's talking to me.

I've never been good with situations like these; people acting harsh towards me. I already feel the tears prickling behind my eyes. "Jeff did call me yeah, but I'm not just here because of him. I do miss you Mike. You don't show up at meetings and don't come with the group if we go out, what's up? Please just tell me, alright?" I plead, hoping the pain in my voice does something to him.

But it doesn't.

"I don't care why you're here. I don't want you here right now, so just leave. I don't even see why you're so worried about me." He spats and that's when the tears finally make there entry.

I stand up, "That's just it, Mike! We're worried about you, all of us! You've been acting so strange lately and the fact that you're acting like a dick towards me right now is a very grand example of that. You always used to be so sweet and gentle to me and you never said a bad word to me. Look at yourself. Listen to yourself! If this behaviour of yours has anything to do with the fact that you're acting like a dick to me, please tell me so at least your friends and band doesn't have to suffer from it."

As soon as I finish my rant, I turn and leave his room without hesitation. Gathering my stuff, not in the mood to stay in his apartment any longer, afraid of heartbreak, I move to the door to leave the place. I'm stopped when a hand grabs my wrist. "Don't leave." Mike says, it's almost a whisper.

I turn around, my face tearstained, and finally see a real emotion on Mike's face: guilt. "I didn't mean that.."

"Explain what is wrong then, Mike! 'cause I'm done with this." I say as I gesture between the two of us. "It's been like this for almost a months now and it's only getting worse."

His eyes go wide, "It's got nothing to do with you! I don't want you to go, please don't go." he says, tears entering his face.

I remove myself from his grip and wipe my tears from my face, frustration taking over. "I'm not fucking going anywhere, Mike! I'm still standing here, aren't I? Just tell me what the hell is wrong with you!"

"Alright." he finally says, letting out a defeated sigh. "Just sit down, please."

I do as asked and take a seat on the couch, taking of my coat once again and putting down my purse. Mike sits down on the coffee table, facing me directly.

"I recently found out that I was adopted."

At his confession, my heart drops. He doesn't meet my eyes, so I move my fingers under his chin and lift it up so his eyes meet mine. "Why didn't you tell me?" I ask quietly.

He shrugs, another tear leaving his eyes. My hand moves up to his cheek and I wipe the tear away with my thumb, lightly caressing his cheek afterwards. "I guess I wanted to figure things out before I told you. Didn't really go as expected, though." he let's out a quivery chuckle.

I take ahold of his hands and move him to sit on the couch, sitting on his lap after. "You shouldn't have to go through it alone, Mike. I'm here for you. I'm always here for you."

My hands move up to cup his face and he melts under my touch, "I know. I was just scared, you know?"

I nod and caress his cheeks with my thumbs.

"I'm sorry. For what I said earlier. And for my behaviour." he says, finally meeting my eyes again.

I just smile at him and lean in to kiss his lips, "It's alright. Just promise me to stop acting like a dick to everyone, we're all just trying to help you."

He nods before bringing his lips back to mine. At first, the kiss is passionate and innocent. But as soon as he slides his tongue into my mouth, things get a bit more heated. I move more forward so I'm straddling his lap, feeling something growing underneath me. I smile against his lips, grinding down on him a bit, only to earn a moan from him.

He hands move from my waist underneath my shirt, eventually tugging at the hem of it and swiftly removing it from my body. His lips are quickly back on mine. Hands roam over my body, stopping at the clasp of my bra and smoothly unclasping it. I let out a moan when his hands move over my breasts, slightly tugging on my nipple.

His lips leave mine and I throw my head backwards, enjoying the feeling of him tracing kisses down my neck to my collarbone and eventually down to my breasts, licking around my nipple.

I move my hips even further down onto him, hearing him groan against my skin. His head moves up and his lips catch mine in a very sloppy, open-mouthed, kiss. Mu hands quickly reach for his shirt and without any hesitation it's thrown on the ground, next to mine.

"Up." he pants against my lips. I move up from his lap, our lips never disconnecting. He stands up, placing his hands under my legs and when I jump up, placing my legs around his waist, he moves his hands to my butt, giving it a soft squeeze.

We're back in his bedroom in no-time. The bed is soft underneath me when Mike pushes me down, now hovering above me. His lips leave mine and once again he starts placing sloppy kisses down my neck, to my collarbone, down my breast and even further down, stopping when he reaches the waistband of my jeans.

He seductively pulls down the zipper, eyes never leaving mine, and a huge smirk plastered on his face. I let out a chuckle. When the zipper is completely down, he undoes the button and moves down my jeans, placing tender kisses on my thighs when my jeans are gone.

I let out a soft moan, loving the contact of his lips on my skin. I can feel his smirk against my thighs. His hands move to the inside of my legs and part them, giving him a better view of my dripping core.

"Already so wet." he says in a husky voice before sliding his fingers over my clothed core.

I sigh in content, "Stop the teasing, McCready." I whine and he laughs.

His hands are soon to remove my panties, leaving me completely naked in front of him. He thumb twirls around my clit, leaving me as a moaning mess. He moves down, face completely between my legs, licking his way through my folds.

My hand immediately reaches for his head, fingers gripping his hair tightly, causing him to groan against my core.

His tongue starts moving faster and faster. One hand has moved to my belly, keeping me from squirming too much. The other is currently between my legs. He slides one finger into me and starts pumping it in and out slowly. "Mike-" I moan, feeling my orgasm building up.

This encourages him to slide in another finger, and another, until there are three fingers making their way in and out of me in a steady pace. Mike notices how much I'm trying to hold myself back and moves his head up for a second, "Don't hold it back, love. Just let it go." he tells me and that's all I need to hear.

Soon after he reattaches his tongue with my clit I reach my orgasms. He removes his fingers from inside me and licks them clean before licking me clean.

"Gosh, babe. You keep getting better at that." I say breathlessly, causing Mike to let out a laugh before kissing me deeply.

My hands move to his hips and I pull them down on me, feeling his erection against my core. He groans as my hands reach for his belt, undoing it, as well with the zipper, and sliding down his pants.

My hand moves over his clothed erection before moving up and pushing him down. I move down his body, placing open-mouthed kisses on his torso here and there. When I reach the waistband of his boxers, I place a kiss just above them, before pulling them down as well.

His cock jumps up immediately, slapping against his stomach. I smile at the sight in front of me, Mike letting out a groan, happy his erection is finally released from his tight boxers.

I grab the base of his cock with one hand while slowly pumping up and down with the other, bringing it to my mouth and giving the head a lick.

Mike throws his head back in pleasure as I take him in my mouth. While sucking on his cock and pumping up and down, my other hand starts playing with his balls.

I soon feel him thrusting his hips up, feeling the need to gag when his cock goes all the way in and taps the back of my throat. I keep myself from gagging and lick around the head of his manhood once more.

I go on like that for a bit, licking, sucking and pumping. Mike thrusting in my mouth gently. "I'm gonna-" Mike says and before I can process his words, his semen is released in my mouth.

I swallow all of it, licking his cock clean afterwards, before moving up to meet him in a sloppy kiss. I can feel him groaning when he tastes himself, only causing me to let out a laugh.

Soon, I flop down next to him, too tired to actually continue. Mike seems to have the same idea. He moves on his side and wraps one arm around me, letting it rest on my waist.

"If me acting like a dick to you ends up in this, maybe I should do it more often. We haven't even had sex and I'm already more than pleased." he tells me before kissing my head softly.

I laugh and slap his chest playfully, "Don't you dare to ever act like a dick again. Otherwise I'll chop it off."


	43. Exception - Shannon Hoon

'There's way too many people in here, why did I decide to go?' I say to myself when I reach the venue where the concert will be.

I decided on going to the concert, because I barely get out of my house and when I do get out, it's because I need to go to work. I work in the back of a music store, so I never get to talk to anyone there either. I actually never talk to anyone, like ever. I don't really have friends, just some people at work, but we're not that close to be labeled as 'friends'.

"Want can I get you?" the guy behind the bar asks me. I tell him I just want a coke and he gives me one.

After I get my drink, I walk to the even busier part of the hall. I make my over to the crowd and get pretty much to the front. I hear multiple people talking about the band that will be playing, Blind Melon. I've never heard of them, but hearing all the positives comments about them makes me very curious.

Seeing everyone around me talking to each other and having so much fun makes me wonder why I'm socially so awkward. I just want to be like everyone else , I just want to have good friends like everyone else has, I just want to go out more often and see more of the world, but we're talking about me, (Y/N), here. It's already a miracle that I am here, completely on my own, genuinely enjoying a concert which haven't even started yet. I should do this more often.

Suddenly, everyone around my starts screaming and clapping and basically goes nuts. I look up from the ground and notice the band has entered the stage. After the first song the singer speaks up and greets the crowd. "Hey y'all!" he screams into the microphone. "We're Blind Melon, thanks for coming! Let's rock this place tonight."

After his quick speech the crowd goes even wilder and I am not so sure if this is the kind of thing I'm made for, but I push that thought aside and try to enjoy the show.

"Oh damn, isn't he sexy?" I hear a girl next to me say to her friend. "I know! Shannon is the sexiest singer I've ever seen."

My attention drifts towards the singer I now know as Shannon and I feel myself staring at him, he really is something. He must've felt me staring at him, 'cause after about a minute his eyes meet mine. I desperately want to look away, but I can't help but continue looking at him. He has me in some kind of trance and I feel myself go a tomato shade of red when he smiles at me; his smile is the best thing I've ever seen in my whole life.

He looks away after that and completely loses himself in the music and I finally snap out of my trance. I try not to think about it too much, and just enjoy the rest of the show, but I feel my mind constantly drifting back to his smile.

Fortunately, I do enjoy the show, it's the best thing I've ever seen. The music is so amazing and the band sounds so good live.

In the meantime the show has ended, but I decided to stay a bit longer to enjoy the rest of the night. I know that if I go home right now, I'll just be bored and do nothing. I'm enjoying myself here and I don't want it to end just yet.

"They were fantastic, weren't they?" a guy next to me says. I look up to him and see him smiling down at me. I smile back at him, trying not to be my awkward self, and say "Yeah, they were great. I really enjoyed it."

"I'm Frank, by the way." the guys says as he reaches for my hand. I shake his hand, "I'm (Y/N). It's nice to meet you."

I feel myself relaxing under the circumstances and feel like this won't be the last time I'll go to a show like this. The people here are all so nice and it's the only place I actually talk to people. Frank introduced me to his friends and I've been talking to them ever since.

Hours pass and I suddenly feel someone tapping me on my shoulder. When I turn, I'm met with that smile I saw before, on the guy called Shannon, also known as the singer of Blind Melon.

"Hey." he says, so casually it's as if he's known me for years. I feel myself being lost for words. I'm snapped back to reality when Daisy, one of Frank's friends, pushes me aside, "Oh my god, you're Shannon Hoon!"

I look at their encounter and Shannon starts chuckling, "Yes I am. Did you enjoy the show?"

Daisy is completely starstruck, "Yeah, very much! Oh- ehm, c-could you please sign this?" she asks while holding out her arm. She's wearing a Blind Melon tee. Before, she told me that she was gonna wear it to every Blind Melon show to try and get the autographs of the bandmembers. It seems tonight is her lucky night, 'cause she already has Shannon's autograph on her arm.

"If you don't mind, could you please introduce me to your friend now?" Shannon asks Daisy, gesturing to me. I turn around quickly, trying to hide the blush that's spread across my face. I've never been one to feel flustered around a guy, but this time it's different. I feel my knees weaken every time Shannon smiles at me and I don't like the feeling, it's so new.

Daisy takes ahold of my arm and turns me around quickly, "T-this is (Y/N), I just met her actually, b-but she's very nice." Daisy stutters, still very starstruck.

Shannon chuckles once again at Daisy's awkwardness, but turns his attention to me soon after, "I'm Shannon." He says while reaching for my hand. Without knowing what I'm doing I start shaking his hand, "So I've heard." I say, trying my best to keep cool. I'm sure my face betrays my awkwardness, but I try to push that thought aside very quickly.

"I was wondering if you'd want to dance with me?" Shannon asks, suddenly sounding very nervous. The confident smile on his face also replaced by a small, nervous, one.

"Oh, ehm- I don't know, I- ehm, can't dance.." I say, my shyness making an appearance.

"I'm sure you can, you don't have to do much. Just sway to the music." Shannon says, looking for my eyes and raising an eyebrow.

I sigh, "Oh alright, then. But don't blame me if I step on your foot."

Shannon laughs and I feel myself melting under his gaze. The fact that I'm actually pretty relaxed, event though I'm about to dance with a well-known singer, creeps me out and I don't know how to feel.

While making our way over to the dancefloor I turn my head around to look at Daisy, who's smiling broadly at me and giving me a thumbs up.

"So, why exactly did you want to dance with me, of all people?" I ask when we reach the dancefloor, feeling a boost of confidence.

Shannon's arms make their way around my waist and I feel myself get tense under his touch. I put my own arms around his neck, trying to look like I know what I'm doing. "Because I couldn't help but notice you during the show and you seemed like a girl I'd want to dance with. You're an exception."

For the first time tonight, I feel myself smiling a genuine smile of happiness. "Oh, thanks."

Shannon and I dance for a while in silence, swaying to the music, our bodies very close, but not close enough to touch each other. "Do you come here more often?" he suddenly asks.

I shake my head, "This is the first time, actually. I don't go out very often.." I explain. I don't know why, but I feel like opening up to him and that's a very rare feeling.

Shannon moves his head a bit back to look at me, "Why don't you go out often?" he asks, pushing a strand of hair behind my ear.

I feel myself blushing again. "I don't know, probably because I'm socially the most awkward person walking this planet and because I'm scared to meet new people..?"

Shannon smiles. That damn smile. "You don't seem awkward to me."

I laugh, nervously, "Oh I am. But you're right, tonight I feel a lot more comfortable around people. I've never really made friends and tonight I made a bunch of friends without any effort. And with you, look at me: I'm actually dancing with a guy. I never even dared to dream about dancing with someone, I'm too shy and scared to even talk to a guy, but tonight, once again, it went pretty smoothly without any effort." I smile up at him and say the last part with a hint of playfulness, something else that's new to me.

"Maybe you just belong here." Shannon says, suddenly very serious. He's one of the first people ever, to really listen to something I've got to say and I can't help but feel this bond with him.

"Maybe I do yeah."

The music turns from disco to easy going. Shannon smirks and moves me closer to him. I smile to myself and rest my head against his chest. "I like you, Shannon." I say without knowing I actually say it out loud. It was more of a thought running through my mind, it wasn't supposed to flop out like that.

Shannon moves his head a bit down, his mouth close to my ear and whispers, in a husky voice, "I like you too, (Y/N)."

I quickly move my head to face him, "Did I say that out loud?" I ask embarrassed.

He nods and a goofy smile enters his face, "But I don't mind. At least now I know you're actually worth dancing with." He winks.

I slap him playfully and we both start laughing. "You're an ass, but I'm glad you like me too."


	44. Conclusions - Dave Grohl

"Kurt, you there?!" I scream when I enter his house. Throughout the years it's become normal for us to just enter each other's houses without knocking or so.

When no one answers, I walk further into his house, entering the kitchen, but he's still nowhere to be found.

There's a sound in the living room and when I enter it, I'm met with a pair of mesmerizing brown eyes. "Oh, hey Dave." I say, feeling the blush creeping up on my face. I've been crushing on the guy for ages, but no one's ever noticed. And I'd like to keep it that way.

Dave jumps back in shock and immediately turns around, relaxing ever so slightly when he sees me. His facial expression changes from shocked to something I can't really place, but color definitely enters his face. "(Y/N), what are you doing here? I thought Kurt said no one would be here."

"I just got here. I was bored so I stopped by, I didn't know he wasn't home." I admit, feeling a little bit uncomfortable. Dave always has me under some kind of spell and I have no idea how he does it.

Dave just looks at me and nods, "Right, well I just had to drop off his guitar, he left it at my place after practice last night. Anyways, I'm gonna get going now... See you around, (Y/N)."

Before I can even do as much as wave or answer, Dave is already gone. The guy is acting strange, it's almost as if he doesn't want to be in the same room with me and it hurts me more than I'd like to admit.

It doesn't take me long to leave the house and walk to the café around the corner, much in the need for some coffee after the encounter with Dave.

His behaviour has gotten more often to me lately, but I never really gave it any thought. It just so happens that today is kinda not really my day and it only now really gets to me. Why would he want to leave me so quickly? Doesn't he like me at all? Not even as a friend? I mean, that's what I thought we were at least, friends.

Not much later after my coffee is brought to me, the bell of the café chimes and in walks Pete, Kurt's neighbor. He notices me and walks over with a smile on his face, "Hey (Y/N), thought I just saw you at Kurt's, am I right?"

I smile at him and nod, "I was yeah, he wasn't there though."

"No that's right, he and Randy are getting some booze and stuff to eat for tonight. You're coming too, right? It's Randy's birthday tomorrow and we're celebrating tonight." Pete tells me. Randy is Pete's housemate, they're both rather close friends to Kurt.

I consider it for a while, but agree on coming to the party nonetheless, even though I'm more than sure that Dave will be there too and I'm not much in the mood to see him hanging around other girls, but that's just jealousy I need to get over.

"Yeah 'fcourse I'll be there. What time?"

Pete looks at his watch for a moment before answering, "Starts at nine, so we've got a couple more hours to go. I gotta go now, see you tonight!"

And with that, Pete leaves the place and I make my way back home, having already finished my coffee during my meet-up with Pete.

On my way home I run into Kurt and Randy and talk to them shortly before heading further home. Kurt mentioned my behaviour was a bit off, but I just shrugged it off, not wanting to show him how it bothered me that Dave was kind of avoiding me. Earlier I said that no one knows about my crush. Well, almost no one. Kurt knows, he's always been the one to read me as an open book. That's why he almost immediately found out about my feelings for the drummer of his band.

The hours go by and after getting dressed and putting a decent amount of make-up on my face, I leave my place and head over to Pete & Randy's. I decided to go a little early, I always do that, just to make sure everything's prepared.

"So, what's up with you? You're acting a bit down and Pete told me you left my house rather sad-faced after Dave left, something happened?" Kurt asks almost immediately when I step foot inside the house. Kurt has always been the protective-brotherly-type to me.

My eyes go wide at his comment, "Pete knows about it?" But Kurt shakes his head, "He doesn't, he's too stupid to notice that. He just noticed that you were happily entering my place and leaving with a big frown afterwards. And he mentioned that when you were there Dave was too, so I figured something happened..."

"Nothing happened really... well, something did, but not what you think. It just seems like Dave doesn't even want to be in the same room as me and it hurts. I mean, I thought we were friends, even though I'd like something more, I thought we were at least friends. But lately it's like he's been avoiding me." I confess, feeling a bit of weight being lifted from my shoulders, but also feeling a pang at my heart by finally saying it out loud.

Kurt sends me a sympathetic smile before embracing me, "Don't jump to conclusions. You should talk to him about it, I'm very sure he isn't avoiding you. If he is, I'm almost 100 percent sure it's not because he doesn't like you."

Even though the words should be comforting, they do nothing to me. I just can't help it, it's my guts telling me something's wrong and I know Kurt is usually right, I can't help but be hesitant about this.

The party starts building itself up soon after Kurt and I talked. Dave is still nowhere to be seen and I must admit I'm quite happy about it, not wanting to face him just yet. But my wishes are soon crushed when I see his figure walking into the room.

As soon as he meets my eyes, he turns around and walks back to wherever he was coming from. I figure it was the kitchen, 'cause he had a beer in his hand. I look around, trying to hide my hurt, when I meet Kurt's gaze who rolls his eyes and send me a lazy smile before gesturing for me to follow Dave.

I shake my head at this, but before I can react, Kurt's already behind me and pushing me into the direction Dave went. "Kurt just stop it! Knock it off, 'right? He doesn't want to see me. I won't go looking for him."

"You don't have to go looking for him..." Kurt whispers in my ear before pushing me a little further. My eyes meet Daves and I silentely curse Kurt for being such an ass sometimes. When I turn to scold Kurt, he's already gone.

When I turn back, Dave is looking at the ground as if it's the most interesting thing on the planet. 

My gaze stays at his face, waiting expectantly for him to speak up, but he doesn't. I turn around to leave and walk into the backyard, all the bodies inside too much to handle right now.

I know I could've spoken up earlier, but I just didn't- I couldn't. I never know what to say when I'm hurt, especially not to the person who's the reason for my being hurt.

"(Y/N)! Come back inside, you're getting a cold like this!" Randy screams from inside. I let out a tiny laugh, knowing there's no use in trying to get him to change his mind.

Inside the atmosphere is already a bit better than outside. The people distracting me from my thoughts. That is, until I see something happening not far away from me.

Some girl. And some guy. Well not just some guy. The guy I'm pretty much in love with, actually. With his tongue down that girl's throat.

"I'm gone." I choke out to Kurt as soon as I lay eyes on them. Kurt turns around and quickly catches on to what's going on. He tries to stop me, but I'm quick to run out of the house, not even trying to hide my tears.

Inside Dave's being scolded by his lead-singer, earning a slap on the back of his head as Kurt keeps saying how much of an idiot he is. "What a way to win a girl, fucking imbecile."

"I got a girl, what are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about (Y/N), you prick! God you're thick. How have you not noticed she's into you? I know it's not my place to tell you this, but you're both only hurting yourselves. Something needs to be done. Now make sure to tell that chick you don't want anything to do with her and go after (Y/N)."

All the information Kurt just gave Dave was almost too much for him, but when he eventually processed it, he didn't wait another second before running outside.

"(Y/N)!" I hear his familiar voice scream from behind me. Not in the mood to face him, at all, I decide to keep on walking, acting as if I didn't hear him.

That idea is soon throw into the rubbish-bin when he grabs my arm and keeps me from walking further. He turns me around in a swift motion, but I still refuse to meet his eyes. He only now notices the tears, "You're crying?" it's more of a question than a statement.

I scoff, "Yeah, no shit." I remove myself from his grip and wipe at my face to dry the tears, only to smudge my make-up even more than it had been.

Suddenly I head Dave scolding himself softly next to me, I finally look up and see he's almost slapping his own head. "Hey, stop that." my hands automatically go for his and I stop him doing what he was doing.

When our eyes meet, a silence falls over us. Dave opens his mouth twice, but nothing comes out. Only the third time something comes out, "I didn't mean to kiss her."

I roll my eyes, "As if I care-"

"I think you do." Dave cuts me off. My eyes move back to his, "And even if you don't, I'm not sure, really- I need you to know that she wasn't the one I was hoping to kiss tonight."

It takes me a while to regain my voice, "And who might that be?"

The cheeky, but unsure, smile that enters Dave's face is the most adorable thing I've ever seen. As soon as I see him leaning in, I throw myself into his embrace, our lips meeting half-way.

God, his lips feel ever better on mine in real than I ever imagined. And I've imagined this about a thousand times before.

His hands move from behind my back up to my face and his thumb starts stroking my cheek. The kiss is broken by Dave pushing back slightly, resting his forehead against mine. "I'm sorry for acting like such a dick lately, I just really never expected you to feel the same."

I smile at him before pressing a small kiss on his lips. "What changed your mind, though?"

"Kurt can be pretty nosy and observant. He can also be very terrifying if you just did something stupid." Dave confesses. I smile at the thought of Kurt scolding him for kissing that girl.

"Let's get you home now, don't want you to catch a cold." he says before wrapping his arm around my body. I rest my head on his shoulder, "I'm happy Kurt can be like that."

Dave turns his head slightly to look at me with a huge smile, "Me too, especially tonight."

The kiss he places at my temple send shivers down my spine. How can a guy be so amazing?


	45. Tease - Stone Gossard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter contains smut

As I’m walking through the club, Melissa suddenly tugs rather harshly on my arm. I move my head to look at her with an annoyed expression resting on my face, “What?”

Melissa just smirks and as I follow her line of sight, my eyes meet his. The first thing that comes to mind is to turn around and leave the place, but Melissa has other plans and drags me to a table where we have perfect view of the table where he’s sitting at with some other guys. 

“What are you doing?” I hiss and Melissa gives me a knowing look. “You two have been giving each other looks every damn night and I think it’s time for you to actually get to know each other. Besides that, it’s been way too long since you’ve had some fun.”

I roll my eyes, but must admit she’s right. The guy, Stone, and I have been sneaking glances at each other for about a week and a half now, but we both haven’t made a move yet. It’s not that I don’t want to, of course I want to, have you seen the guy? It’s just that I’m never one to make the first move. 

“Alright, I’m gonna get some more drinks and order some snacks. Stay here and make him want you.” Melissa’s voice comes through and her last sentence makes me gulp. Before I can even ask what she meant exactly, she’s already gone. 

My eyes wander back to Stone and I catch him already looking at me with a smile resting on his face. I decide to just let my guard down tonight and be a little bold. The smile that enters my face is a little teasing and I softly wave my hand. I notice Stone didn’t expect it and he immediately looks away, a light blush forming on his cheeks. 

A soft chuckle escaped my lips and I look back down at the table, fidgeting my hands and thinking about Stone’s flustered face. I honestly didn’t know I had that effect on him, but it does make me feel a little special and it makes me want him even more, because truth be told, he has the exact same effect on me, though he just never really tried.

When my eyes meet his once again, it seems he composed himself and gotten some confidence, ‘cause next thing I know he’s winking at me with a smirk-like smile on his face. Now it’s my turn to blush and look away, meeting Melissa’s eyes in the process as she returns with a plate of snacks and two drinks. 

“You are blushing, milady.” she states and glances over at Stone’s table, a smirk entering her face as she notices that he’s the cause of it all. 

Stone and I keep stealing glances at each other and I keep trying to gain confidence to tease him here and there. And it’s working. Stone is very much like a flustered mess and the guys around him have noticed what’s going on too, smirking at him and at me before playfully punching his arm, leaving Stone even more flustered.   
Eventually Stone excuses himself to the restroom and I feel like it’s my chance to talk to him. When Melissa, as well as his friends, see me standing up and walking in the same direction as Stone, they all start cheering and wolf-whistling. 

Actually feeling the need to release some pressure from my bladder, I quickly skip into the ladies’ room to do my thing and I can only hope I’m not too late to catch Stone. Funny enough, right when I leave the ladies’ room, Stone leaves the men’s room. He swiftly looks at me and moves to leave the hall, but only then realises who I am. 

His body freezes and he turns around rather slowly, meeting my playful eyes with his shocked ones. “Hello Stone.” 

“(Y/N), wha- you’ve followed me?” Stone manages to get out, causing me to smirk. Gosh I really have him wrapped around my finger. If only he knew what he could do to me if he were a little more confident. 

I nod, “Kind of, yeah.” and take a step forward, closer to him. Stone’s breath hitches and when I look down quickly, I notice that my actions don’t just have an effect on his behaviour, but also on his body. The buldge in his pants is making me want him even more.

Suddenly, Stone becomes a lot more confident then I’d ever seen him and he closes the gap between us, kissing me roughly as he presses my body against the wall with his body flush against mine. 

I let out a moan at the feeling of his clothed erection against my thigh. Stone lets out a low growl and nibbles on my bottom lip before sliding his tongue inside my mouth, desperately moving it in sync with my tongue.

Down the hall is a small storage room, I only know so because my brother used to work here before he moved and I sometimes helped cleaning. I grab ahold of the collar of Stone’s flannel and drag him with me towards the small room, pushing him gently inside after opening the door and closing it behind me as soon as we’re both inside. 

“You are such a fucking tease, you know that?” Stone breaths out, causing me to let out a chuckle. “It did the job, though.” Stone chuckled to that and gently places his hand on my face, stroking my cheek with his rough thumb, “You’re fucking gorgeous.” he tells me before reattaching our lips.

I start bucking my hips into his and it causes him to groan. My hands move downward and when I reach the waistband of his pants, I start unbuttoning it and the zipper is down within a second.

My hand gently moves into his pants and I start softly palming his erection through his boxers. “Oh fuck.” Stone moans into my mouth and I smile against his lips. 

Not wanting to let him wait any longer, feeling like he deserves to be treated nicely, I break the kiss, placing open-mouthed kisses on his jaw and collarbone before making my way down. 

As soon as I’m on my knees, I press a small kiss on his clothed dick and Stone hisses in pleasure. I hook my fingers on the waistband of his boxers and swiftly pull them down, along with his pants. 

His cock jumps up as soon as it’s freed from his boxers and slaps against his chest. It’s a sight to look at and I can’t wait another second before I start licking around at the tip, swallowing the pre-cum. 

I lick his cock all the way from his balls to the tip before taking him in my mouth. I bob my head a little before deepthroating him. Stone loses it after only a couple of second and starts fucking me in my mouth. I let him do exactly what he wants as he takes a tight hold on my hair to move my head how he likes. 

A string of curses leave Stone’s mouth and when I feel his legs get a little shaky, I notice it’s my turn to take over and help him over the edge. I do exactly that and not much later his come fills my mouth. 

Stone’s chest is heaving and when I lick his cock clean, swallowing all his come, I move up and press my lips against his sweet spot in his neck. He chuckles and wraps his arms around me, turning me so my back is against the wall. “Let me help you, now.” 

My jeans are on the ground in no-time and Stone hitches my shirt up a little to press loving kisses down my belly to the waistband of my panties. He takes no time for teasing as he quickly shoves down my panties.

Stone puts his arms underneath my legs, gesturing for me to jump up a little so my legs are on either side of his face, resting on his shoulders. His hands find a way to rest on my butt and he squeezes my cheeks gently, causing me to let out a moan. The moan hasn’t even completely left my mouth when he slides his tongue through my folds.

Within only a second, Stone has me a whimpering mess, circling his tongue around my clit before eating me out completely. I’ve never felt so fucking content while someone ate me out, but this, god this it better than sex itself. Well not really, of course, but it’s better than I’ve ever experienced.

Not much later, I come and spill my juices all over Stone’s face. He chuckles and licks me clean before carefully putting me down. He moves my panties back up, along with my jeans, before he dresses himself. 

“That was quite something.” I breathe out and chuckle lightly. Stone smiles at me and places a soft, tender kiss on my lips. 

“Let’s get out of here and let me take you out, I don’t care that it’s already god knows how late.” he says and I nod frantically, “C’mon then!”

Stone takes ahold of my hand and doesn’t even try to be silent or something of the sort when we leave the storage room. He’s almost running through the club and he quickly grabs his belongings, ignoring the knowing looks of his friends before grabbing my stuff, which was now also placed on a chair at the table where his friends are sitting, Melissa having joined them.

“And where do you think you’re going?” Melissa smirks. “Out!” I quickly yell at her, being already dragged out of the club by a very excited Stone.


End file.
